I began writing in the weekly update about HW and realized that I really need to write a separate post for it. I may ramble a moment so please excuse me!

Issue 1- my boys have always taken a bit longer than their friends to do their HW. I have always helped them with it as well. @ have AHDD and the other has shown signs for the past 2 years so I am wondering abobut having him eval. They are intelligent boys but focus is an issue (one struggle a little in school but is average- above average.) Since we have been in India - this issue is a bit worse as we came in mid-year, it is difficult to understand the teacher's accent and the teaching method is different. I think they may be very stimulated too b/c even very simple math is eluding them at times!

Issue 2- They are learning so much in their experience here and their teachers from home have assured me that they will have no problem catching them up when we get home (end of January). Part of me says - have them do a little HW and then let it go. But the reality of that is hard - to not have them do all their HW feels odd. Also - at first 2 of them manipulated that and did not work very hard for the hour we had them do HW - knowing that after an hour they could stop. Now they are working harder so that is not an issue.

I get caught up in worrying about what the teachers will think of them (American students cannot handle this curriculum...) but I need to do what is best for my boys. This is the only time in their lives when they will not have to do all that is expected of them. They are learning so much here - whatever they get in the classroom, is a bonus. We have a lot going on each day and to have a lot of HW pressure puts a damper on that in a big way. At the same time, I want them to continue improving basic skills. (btw - the emphasis here is on math and science and their teacher home said "just keep them reading and writing.." they do love to read).

I just wondered if any of you might have any suggestions/thoughts? Every time I think I resolve this issue, I feel stumped again. I will meet with the teachers on Sat and want to have a plan.

Thanks so much for any thoughts you have.


Suzanne
Proud mommy to Seamus, Brendan and Casey 4/17/00

First, what you are doing is great. Being there is a huge part of their "homework", too. So, I would not stress too much if you give a little on some subjects, and concentrate a lot of your and their energy in exploring and learning about where you all are. (Which is what you seem to be doing already!)

But basically, if I had a choice of successfully badgering my kids about homework all school year, or laying off a good bit on the homework and exploring a new country instead. I'd go with the exploring and figure my kids got the best education possible.

I went to university for a year in a different country...exchange program. Even though culturally, it was not that much different from home (USA - NZ), it was a challenge even for a twenty year old. I think their teachers should be able to understand this, and hopefully will find a way to balance the workload for your kids.

Best of luck!!

Vaughn and the ABC Boys
Alex, Bryce, & Calder
Watch out!...three boys with appetites, and they know how to use them!

I asked the homework help question this week for a reason. I wanted to see what others are experiencing.

My oldest is a senior in high school. Up to this year, we have helped him in chemistry (my husband), math and Spanish (paid tutors). Around here, it is the norm to help your kids. It is very much a cultural norm. Most of the kids are tutored for their subjects, take the class during the summer BEFORE they take it in school, go to weekend classes in the same subject, etc. After-school tutors and tutoring programs are the norm.

We are the minority in this area. Our kids are well-rounded and get sleep each night. I can't tell you how many elementary school kids are falling asleep at school because they are going to bed at 11 or 12 pm, then going to school in the am. It's too much. High schoolers are getting even less sleep. We do hours of homework a night....

Another part of the equation is the teachers. In elementary school, we were so lucky to have wonderful teachers who taught! Parental help was just reinforcement, not concept teaching. In junior high, it's all over the map - great teachers, okay teachers, and teachers who don't teach. Our high school is nationally ranked and is in the top 10 in the nation. I'm unimpressed. Since there is so much out-of-school learning going on, many don't teach at all. You either pay for the teaching, or you do it for your kids. There are some very good teachers there and I'll be fighting for my trio to get the teachers who teach!

I'm sharing this experience with you since my area is primarily Chinese American and a rising proportion of Indian-Americans. I can clearly imagine the school system from your description and my experiences here. It's very much a cultural upbringing issue.

Your boys will be fine. They are 10 years old. They will remember this trip of a lifetime! You are giving them a wonderful gift and it will change who they are forever - for the better! They will have a great view of the international world that didn't come from reading a text book. They will be fine!!!

Best wishes,

Sharon
13 year old b/b/b + 17 year old son

I have 2 sons with varying degrees of ADD and consistency and very clear expectations are the keys to survival here . I think if I were in your situation I would keep a schedule that resembles what is normally expected of them. If HW is usually done after school, have them do it after school. If it usually takes an hour, tell them they have an hour to get the work done. Or I may shorten the HW time to say 30-45 minutes if they are serious about working for the designated time period. If you see one working diligently but not getting the HW done, modify the assignments. That way the expectations will not change when you return home but you are not spending your time worrying or arguing with them about HW.

Jennifer
mom of triplets (11) plus one (6)

Thank you to all of you for your comments - it helps immensely! I agree that just being here is a huge education - and I know I would regret letting HW stress us out as the boys have enough things to adjust to here.
Jennifer - we usually do HW after school so we are keeping to that. They get their snack and then do HW. I think I will just keep it to 1 hr or less - as long as they are focusing. It is a good idea to tell them they can do 45min or so if they focus and stick with it. Good motivator!
Sharon - I HEAR YOU On the education system - that sounds just like it is here. Everyone has a tutor and I was talking with my neighbor who says that they do not teach much in school - lots of free time with teachers and students roaming around and then they get tutored to learn what they should have learned in school. It is so bizarre to me! My boys are in a good school so it is not that bad - but there is still a lot more chaos in the classroom and all their classmates are tutored. My husband is teaching here and says "In India, the students are stressed, in America, the teachers are stressed". In other words, the responsibility lies in the students hands to get the information where as at home, if the teacher has failing students, they are reprimanded. It has been a an adjsutment for my guys as they are not used to being so independent - and to be pushed to be more independent in a vastly different culture is tough. The teachers do not spell things out for them - HW assignments are vague and due dates are vague!

We just celebrated Halloween with their class though - that was lots of fun! The highs and lows of living abroad.

Vaughn - I appreciate your perspective on living abroad as a 20 yr old -- helps me see what they are experiencing.

Thanks
Suzanne