Hey all, I have been MIA for several years, with kids, work, etc there is little time left for the computer (not to mention the fact that I share this computer with the girls!). My oldest is 15, a sophomore involved in several sports and soon to drive in Nov. Getting him through puberty is challenging, the middle school years being the toughest. I thought I could handle anything....WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!! The girls are 11 1/2 and holy cow I am not sure how much longer my husband and I can maintain our sanity with 3 at the same time developing, maturing, "finding themselves." They have not started menstruating yet but we expect it any day now. I need advice from those who have been there and survived! LOL Dealing with 3 at the same time that are hormonal, emotional is difficult to say the least. There isn't a day in the last few months that they are all happy go lucky (like they used to be). Someone has taken my sweet babies and replaced them with monsters. They cry at the drop of a hat over the silliest things, they are constantly fighting with each other, their brother, and us. One of my girls has resorted to writing me letters about how misunderstood she is and how life isn't fair and she shouldn't get punished, etc.

My MIL spent the weekend last weekend and was appalled at their behavior, I was so embarrassed!

My husband and I have talked about having a united front in dealing with their behavior and attitudes. We have decided to let them express themselves to a certain point. The moment they become disrespectful is when we interrupt and discipline. I just don't know how long this can go on! It is taking it's toll, everyone is walking on eggshells for fear of upsetting the girls! LOL

Any tips/suggestions?????? Good books? Wine helps but isn't the answer! LOL

ALong the same lines, when did you let your girls shave their legs? Mine have been shaving arms for 3 years but have recently been asking about their legs. Many of their friends already shave but I am trying to talk them out of it. They are competitive swimmers and I am trying to put them off until championships next March and so far so good but just wondering what others have done.

For those whose daughters have started their periods, do you find you are on the same schedules? I found it quite interesting that last week when I had mine, they had a huge spike in hormones and were extra irritable (if that is possible). My poor husband and son are going to have to build a shed outside to get some quiet!

Hope all is well with everyone....thanks for any tips!

Kim
K - mom to b (5/96), & identical ggg (1/00)

My sympathies. I have 4 teenage boys and we've had mood swings but nothing compared to my friends with girls. It's a universal trend and many girls seem to go through the emotional ups and downs, tears, screaming, etc. Hopefully, someone who has been through this can provide more help.

As for the shaving - I would let your girls shave their legs if it is important to them. I started shaving around that time. Girls are very self-concious about their image. If their friends are shaving and they have a need to do so, let them. My boys are also competitive swimmers. They shave down for Champs. But all the girls shave through the year and it's not a big deal for Champs.

Good luck!

Sharon
14 year old b/b/b + 18 year old son

I am so glad I have three boys...

No tips for your trips...good luck!

Vaughn and the ABC Boys
Alex, Bryce, & Calder
The 14 year olds!

Yes, having 3 hormonal girls can be tough- but sorry Vaugh, boys are no picnic either when those testosterone surges hit!

My girls were "emotional" long before they started menstrating. I would say by 12 we saw definate cycles of emotion tho' no one started menstrating until 14.

Mostly we deal with hormonal surges the same as any other obnoxious behavoir. Unless you can be pleasant, you may want to spend time in your room. Actually I do the same thing. I never really had PMS but now pre-menapause is killing me. About every 2-3 month, I need to get away from my own feelings of frustration by going to bed early.

Anyway, I would suggest not punishing them by sending them to their room/rooms but offering the santuary of their room when emotions seem to be out of control. Even if more than 1 is out of control, going to their own bed, or allowing one to use your room, may allow them to calm down.
I would also encourage the letter writing. Allowing her to sxpress her emotions is better than bottling them up and is a non-violent way to release the tension. During a fight, ask each person to write down what happened, how it got out of hand, and a reasonable solution. They may even be able to share these letters with each other to learn more about tho other person's perspective.

I am not much help with the leg shaving. We are all blonde so none of the girls needed to shave until 13-14 years old, and even then, only in summer. Mostly I would hold off as long as you can but if they are heavily hairy or have dark hair, they will probably need to sooner.
My girls are also swimmers but will begin swimming during the winter for high school this year. I guess we will have more shaving.

As for menstrating, we are not all on the exact same schedule but have noticed the "supplies" are used much more during 2 weeks of the month than the other 2 weeks, so we are close.

In general, I feel like once the girls started menstrating, their highs and lows evened out. It seems pre-pubesence was tougher for us.
Good Luck


Judie and Victor
lucky parents to
Frankie 3/95
Maggie 7/96
Rose 7/96
Elizabeth 7/96

I am shaking in my shoes right now. HOLY CRAP.

Mine just turned five and I already dread this. It sounds as bad as I feared.

Deep breathes, momma.




Jamye

"Yes, having 3 hormonal girls can be tough- but sorry Vaugh, boys are no picnic either when those testosterone surges hit!"

At 14.5 years and their first couple weeks in high school...so far so good! Bryce broke three bones in his foot, but that is physical, not emotional! The boys were kept pretty busy all summer, so we'll see how things go now that we are at back in school.

I know that anything approaching boredom is an open invitation for trouble. As the days get shorter and the rains return to the Northwest, this guy-filled place of mine will start to seem to be a wee bit on the small size. We don't have TV and have limited internet.

Just got the okay to take the boys to SoCal for the week of Thanksgiving, so we'll get out of the house for a week, perhaps do some camping (eastside of the Sierras, perhaps) as well as hitting the beach where my folks live. Perhaps sneak in another weekend this Fall for a quick camping trip with the boys.

But generally, if things start getting too tense in the house, that means it is time to get everyone outside -- quick trip to the ocean (as quick as 5 minutes to 30 minutes away depending on our whims), or into the redwoods, or perhaps to a river.

"Yes, Calder. Everyone must come." How far we drive often depends on my present tolerance level in the van. And generally once there and some energy gets expended, things calm down and the boys start interacting "normally". I have no idea what the equivilent would be for teenage girls.

BUT -- no serious girlfriends yet, so all bets off when that happens!LOL!

Vaughn and the ABC Boys
Alex, Bryce, & Calder
The 14 year olds!

I agree physical activities help. I often sent my son for a mile run if he became too argumentative. He was so much easier to deal with after the exercise.

It is funny, as tough as his football practices are (and boy does he smell), it is the swim practices that help the most. An hour before school and 2 hours after school make him the most pleasant child to have around.

Boys are like Labrador Retrievers. They need LOTS of wearing out before laying by the fire.

Come to think of it, my girls are much more pleasant to me and each other after swim practice too.


Judie and Victor
lucky parents to
Frankie 3/95
Maggie 7/96
Rose 7/96
Elizabeth 7/96

So are mine! For 3 months, my boys swim daily and it's so much easier to deal with the normal sibling rivalries.

Now, everyone is doing something different. But my water polo boy is the easiest to deal with since he's exhausted. But I do find that homework is harder for them to deal with when they are tired. And our school is a big believer in lots of homework.

Sharon
14 year old b/b/b + 18 year old son

There's much more fighting now that my 2 older dds have started their periods, and my gggs are 10 years old. It makes me feel better to know it's the hormones/age and not my bad parenting skills, lol.

My oldest dd, who started 8th grade, just started her period about a month ago, while her younger sister who's in 6th grade started a few months ago. I hope the triplets don't start until 8th grade either! I know my sisters and I sometimes had our cycle close together. Not sure how it's going to go with my dds.

As far as shaving legs go, my oldest dd hasn't started shaving because she has very light colored hair on her legs. On the other hand, my 6th grader has dark hair, so she should start shaving already.

Gloria

I haven't been on here in FOREVER but happened to pop by & see this post. I have nothing to add ): My girls turned 11 in July & i have done lost my mind w/ them. The arguing, crying, and just all around emotional behavior is slowly killing me (kiddding..sort of)
I could go on for hours & i feel your pain. I hate to say this but my son is sooooo much easier.(for now) I can't even imagine what the next couple of years will bring. My husband who is one of 4 boys has NO clue!! At least I was a teenage girl & know the storm that is brewing.

My friends who have girls the same age say we should start a support group.
Good Luck!!!!

Joyce
GGG 7/6/00
B 5/24/05