For those of us with adult children... Someone sympathize with me puhlease!!!!!!!


Sunday is our Grand-daughter's third birthday. There is a party. The triplets and I are not going. My husband, who lives in Baltimore 4 days out of 8, will stop by when he gets off work. There are a few reasons that I'm not going.

Mostly because its a 2 hour drive, 40 bucks in gas, the party doesn't start until 4, which means I have to leave to drive back home at 6 in order to get home in time to get 3 12 year olds settled and ready for bed because we have school and work the next morning. And the 12 year olds are not really interested in a 3 year old's birthday party, even if that 3 year old is their niece.

And, this is just personal opinion, I'm sure others think differently... but why have an expensive shindig birthday party for a 3 year old? They aren't in school, so its not likely that they have "friends". They, in the majority of kids, will not remember the party by the time they are 5. So why have a party? So that you and your friends can get together and drink beer and eat while you watch a 3 year old open presents when she already has a house that is over full with toys already?

Secondly.... if you got laid off at Christmas and just started a new job a few days ago and you are broke to the point that you had to borrow 400 bucks from your mother to pay your car insurance 2 weeks ago, that you are two months behind on, and your quarterly water bill.... where did you get the money to have a party?

I'm not talking about a small party, there will be at least 30 people at this party, and only 5 or so of them under the age of 18.

We are getting a gift certificate for my grand-daughter for her birthday, I'm not not going to give her a gift just because I'm not going to the party.

On a side note, I'm so disconnected from my oldest son at this point, I wonder if he even cares if we exist (we as in me, his dad, and his little brothers and sister). He lives in my second oldest son's basement apartment. When we visit, I'm lucky if he makes eye contact. He pays the electric bill as his rent, and buys his own food. He works a full time job and has minimal expenses because he walks to work, and his car is paid for (we bought it for him a long time ago). He makes the same amount per hour that I do, and although it isn't a huge amount of money, its not bad money either. So.. at Christmas time, and at birthday time, we always give each of our grown children cash. We went to Baltimore to be with the older kids, and to give them their gifts. The triplets have a birthday two days after Christmas. When we got there my Daughter in Law was showing us her brand new IPad2, that was a gift to her and our grand-daughter from our oldest son. He spent all that money on his sister in law and his niece and didn't bother to get his brothers or sister a damn thing for Christmas or their birthday. He got nothing for his father or me, either. Not even a card.

Sorry to vent, but I just needed to get it all out there before I exploded, and of course I can't vent on Facebook because my daughter in law is in my friends list!

MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

While I don't have adult children, I can feel your pain through the computer screen. I want to scream for you!

I don't get the lack of financial knowledge of today's younger generation. So many of them don't understand the value of money. Saving, investing, and simply running a checking account seem to be foreign concepts. If you have an emergency fund, you can deal with unemployment issues better than most. You wouldn't have to borrow.money after just a month of unemployment. And knowing you have no income should help people curtail extravagant parties for 3 year olds who don't understand the concept of birthdays. A visit to a McDonald's Playland would thrill them to pieces! At least it did mine.

And no acknowledgement for the holidays by your oldest son would hurt deeply. A card, a call, a visit would have been so nice. To spend a lot of money on other people and not even a little thing for his own parents and siblings is just sad. I don't even know what to say.

No advice. But glad you got the chance to vent!

Sharon
14 year old bbb + 18 year old son

Thanks Sharon. I spoke to husband earlier on the phone, we nixed the idea of the gift certificate because we wanted to make sure that she actually got the gift, and that her parents didn't spend it on themselves. So we got her some videos.

Thanks again for the kind words. I'm just really depressed over the whole thing.

MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

I totally get your point of view. As a mom of 2 adult children who show zero fiscal responsibility, I can't help but wonder about the entire generation of 20 somethings. Seems very common. I wish they were the exception and not the norm.

Hugs to you. It is depressing.



http://teensandtriplets.com
Wiltrip Mom with 5
2 teens & BBG - school age and easier than the teens!