Hi Everyone,

I am posting this question for a fellow triplet mom...

Does anyone have any experience (or opinions) with having multiples in different grades?

Right now her 5yr old (11/98),BBG, 32+weekers are heading to Kinder in the Fall ('04). However, the preschool teacher feels 1 or both boys may not be ready for 1st grade ('05). 1 ds appears to have a learning disability (not yet Professionally diagnosed) and there seems to be delays with attention span & information retention with both. There was even of a mention of SID. During their preschool testing, both boys fell below average in many areas. And her dd tested average. Needless to say their mom is very upset. She is torn in manys ways that only other MOMs can understand. She wants to give all 3 kids any help they need and has some really good ideas on how to help before 1st grade starts. She is worried about sending her 1 dd onto a differnt grade, leaving the boys behind. Or even the possibility that 1 ds will be able to move ahead with dd and would have to leave 1 ds behind.


Any experience, words of wisdom or support will be appreciated. Any good websites relating to SID, learning disabilities, etc? I will email her a copy of this post. Thank You in advance.

Amy~
Paige, Austin & Hailee - 5yrs
10/29/98 34w1d
Kenny - 18yrs

Amy~
Paige, Austin & Hailee - 9yrs
10/29/98 34w1d

Amy,
I am having some of the same concerns with my kids.I was thinking about sending my kids 8/99(28wks) to K this year.Preschool teacher says girls are good to go but that Ian isn't close.So I called our school pych to discuss what to do.We decided last week to hold them all back a year,she said it wouldn't hurt to let the girls mature more and to give him some time to catch up.She has twins and had said that most of us MoMs tend to stress that they are inividuals,but at some times they need to be treated as a unit.In her oppinion this is one of those times.She said she would have done whatever she could have to keep her BB together.
I hope this helps.Good luck~
Becky
SAHM~
Emma,Amber,Ian 8/18/99
Olivia 9/29/00

Becky
Realtor in Ohio and Indiana
Emma,Amber,Ian 8/18/99
Olivia 9/29/00

I have to agree with Becky. I don't have this problem mysel, but a friend has the opposite problem. Her son tested far above his brother and sister (reads Harry Potter in kindergarden). The preschool teachers wanted him to advance to 1st grade. My friend decided to keep all together. The school sends home harder work for her one son to do and he has extra reading assignments with questions to answer.
I can't imagine my girls not making their First Communion together, going to the Senior Prom together, graduationg together.
Yes, we want to see them as individuals but I don't think we should negate the bond of being triplets.
I never heard of a child that suffered from being given an extra year to grow.

Judie and Victor
lucky parents to
Frankie 3/95
Maggie 7/96
Rose 7/96
Elizabeth 7/96

Judie and Victor
lucky parents to
Frankie 3/95
Maggie 7/96
Rose 7/96
Elizabeth 7/96

>Or even the possibility that 1 ds will be able to move ahead with dd and would have to leave 1 ds behind.<

This is the really difficult situation IMO.

We made the choice to start our son in school with his sisters, and we have been defending the decision ever since. It started with suggestions from all kinds of people to hold him back from kindergarten, and kept on through K with constant official recommendations, including a stern letter from the principal, that he be held back from 1st grade. Now, finally, they told us at his second trimester 1st grade parent-teacher meeting this week that they are no longer recommending retention.

This has been a huge struggle for our son. In addition to school, which is no piece of cake for any kid these days, he attended private and school speech therapy, and private and school reading tutorials. (The private is Kumon, which I'll write a post about when I get a chance). Plus, we (dw mostly) put in tons of time helping him read.

My wife did a lot of research which told us that there is no clear case in favor of academic retention. However, the real reason we pushed so hard is that we just did not want him to be the one left behind. Maybe this wouldn't bother some kids, but we knew it would bother our son immensely.

Chuck
gbg 1997

Chuck
gbg 1997
b 2008

My boys are five and will start kinder in the fall 04'. I think I would keep them together. How can they be worried about 1st grade when they haven't even started kindergarden. Many things can happen in six months. You can work the child. Get help for the child. If they are testing low, the district can do evalutions and get help now before kindergarden and put things in place to help them in kindergarden

Danielle
Easton, Blake and Hunter

Danielle
Easton, Blake & Hunter
1-24-99

thank you Amy for helping this mother to be pro-active for her children! Just want to say, may want to email the thread of mine,1 repeating 1st grade, i just posted an update too, as it may give your friend an idea of where all this "could" go, as mine are in 1st grade now, and all my sons "issues" of maturity discussed in preK and K came to a head 1 month into 1st grade as it much more work, work, work than preK and K.
As my thread mentions, yes their is much to be done to help with the "lacking" academics, but once the decision to retain is made it is made with no turning back. In our public school i came upon much resistence to get him through all the hoops to make a referrel to the school physcologist for evaluation...politics and money if you ask me..as all the teacher and counselor reiterated was him being so young, testing is not usually accurate/able to identify a problem, and once tested, if inconclusive, cant retest within the system for another 2 years. Academics seem to be very set not to test until 2nd or 3rd grade, at least around here due to this thinking, and on the political side of things is the knowledge that they dont have to pass a "reportable" standardized test until end of 3rd grade, so why waste the money testing until closer to that time! If they then test with a disability, their score will not "go" against the schools score. But they are the ones wanting to make this "life decision", as i put it to the teacher, of retention,as early as K and 1st. As with the triplet dynamics it is in my opinion a life decision, without the influence of testing. That is just plain wrong in my eyes in the case of a suspected problem. Our counselor honestly told me she has never dealt with triplets, or this scenerio, and asked what input if any i had from other triplet moms, thus my thread on this matter.
Being a parent of HOM, takes on a whole new meaning once school and school issues start, its up to us to be proactive for our children and thier triplet dynamics, as usual, so many just dont understand, or issues even occur to them...but they do us!
And just on a personal opinion, i wish i had the fore-thought to see all this as well as to have known how academic even kindergarten is these days..they dont call daycare centers, "preschool" for nothing, and obviously the curriculum has changed over the years to adjust to this societal thing of kids learning so much, so much earlier. And i thought i was doing good having my kids know all thier primary and some secondary colors, counting to 10-15 and saying their ABC's by start of preK...boy was i wrong!!
My heart goes out to anyone facing this sort of thing, it truely is heart wrenching!
triozoo bb/g 8-7-97

Amy, our MOMs group had a multiples panel on Thursday night and there was a MOM there with her now-20 year old b/g twins. she has sent the G to kindergarten a year ahead of her son b/c they were summer babies and her son just wasn't ready. She said it was a very difficult decision for her, especially 15 years ago but it worked out for the best and she doesn't regret doing it. Her son simply wasn't ready that year and her daughter was. The twins spoke about it too and for them, it wasn't a big deal. They actually prefered it b/c they had their own set of friends and teachers,etc. They said it was never an issue but it got kind of weire when it was time for the sister to graduate. But, the brother enjoyed having his senior year to himself and they got to have their special milestones seperately-like prom, graduation,etc. They don't even go to college in the same state now! they were really ok about it and neither one ever experienced any stigma about it either. They said the only drawback was no one believed they were twins! LOL! HTH

Korrie~
^i^B/G/G 24 w 3d,1/17/00
B 10/31/01
B 1/27/03

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>

Thank you all for sharing your personal experiences and giving such great advice! Right now, my friends kids are set to go to Kinder, she's met with the 3 different teachers and has hired a summer tutor for her boys, to help give them a jump start! Hopefully, by the time 1st grade rolls around, they'll all 3 be ready. thanks again, you guys are awesome!

Amy~
Paige, Austin & Hailee - 5yrs
10/29/98 34w1d
Kenny - 18yrs

Amy~
Paige, Austin & Hailee - 9yrs
10/29/98 34w1d