I feel like I am failing with this triplet parenting thing and I need some advice. My girls are 11 weeks old (5 weeks adjusted). I don't even know what's normal or expected at this point. They are fed every 3 - 4 hours during the day and I let them go for as long as they want at night, which rarely goes for more than 5 hours between feedings. Sometimes they will eat 4.5+ ounces (formula fed. Similac Sensitive), other times it's 3 ounces or less. They hate their cribs and won't sleep more than an hour at a time in them, so they sleep in their bouncy seats in the living room. They hate being next to each other. They don't like being out of the swaddle for very long. With the exception of a few times a day after feeding and changing they seem to be unhappy if they are awake. Whining mostly, not crying like there is something really wrong. But then they will wind themselves up to a real cry if they aren't attended to. Maybe I am expecting too much too soon from my little babies?

ETA - I wake them all up and try to have them all eat at the same time, especially at night. Having a schedule proves to be difficult sometimes because once in a while one will be hungry sooner than the others.


Any advice you all can give about getting happier babies to sleep a little longer would be helpful. LOL!

1 + GGG Spontaneous triplets!
Born @ 33w 6d. =)

It is a very hard time those first few months before and after their due date. it can seem like nothing works. For us, charting how much each one ate and pooped...(and for us, we charted spitup since we had three baby fountains)...really helped see patterns and adjust things...especially when our sleep deprived brains had a hard time even remembering what day of the week it was. We also used the 5s methods from happiest baby on the block. swaddle, shush, side, sway(or jiggle) and suck. Premies especially like the tight swaddle.

One way to deal with early waking is to put them off for a little while (like 10-15min) and then go ahead and feed them, and then wake the others up after you are through and feed them too. They may all eat an hour early then, but they will all be on the same schedule.

Ours slept in bouncy/swings/etc. for several months because they had reflux and not only did they hate their crib, they would spitup every time we put them anywhere flat. If bouncy seats in the living room work...go with it...do whatever works right now.

Susan

Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07




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I agree with Susan: just do whatever works. If yours don't like the floor, then put them somewhere else. You can always try the floor again in a few weeks. Even though we were told to have them do tummy time for 30 minutes/day, mine absolutely hated it and we were lucky to get 5 minutes. Now at 8 months (6 adjusted) they love the floor, one is rolling, they all scoot, and they do better on their tummies but still don't love it.

We also swaddled for a longer time than "they" say you should. We swaddled two until about six months and the third well past seven months. She just loved it so I saw no reason to stop. She'd get all excited and wiggly when she saw the blanket and would coo while we wrapped her. Her development wasn't hampered in any way. It's what worked for her, so we went with it.

It really will get better. Honest.

Mom to GBG born in July 2009 at 30w6d: 3#10oz, 3#12oz, 3#2oz

You are in the absolute hardest time right now. You are still getting to know your babies and their personalities, sleep deprivation is at its prime which makes everything seem 10 times worse.

My trio have never been great eaters. They usually do not drink a full bottle (6.5oz.) They never have. I always offer them 6.5oz at each feeding and most of the time I end up using the same bottle for the next because it ends up being enough to feed 2 of them.

Have they been checked for reflux? It is a very common thing with preemies. I carried to 36 weeks and all 3 of mine have reflux even. When they were about that old, they were not sleeping well, constantly fussy, spitting up, vomiting, sometimes they would even refuse to eat and I still contribute that to untreated reflux. It can cause a lot of irritability and sleeping problems. One thing that makes me think of reflux is that they like sleeping in their bouncy seats instead of in their cribs. Sleeping at an incline (like in a bouncy seat) helps reflux, but when you lay down flat it allows all the stomach contents to push back up into your esophagus, which can cause a lot of pain. Have you tried propping the head of their cribs up? I use a big city phone book that is 3 or 4 inches wide under the mattress, it provides the perfect incline. Also whining after they have been fed is another cue.

If you think they may have reflux you should go see their pediatrician about it to see if he will put them on medication to help control it. Get it treated as soon as possible.

As far as the schedule, in my opinion it is absolutely necessary for ME to have them on a schedule. In the beginning it was torturous, but I got over it and its easy now. We did a 3 hour schedule all through the day from 7am to 10pm then let them wake up naturally at night. After they would eat we would keep them awake and about an hour and a half to 2 hours before their next feeding, they took a nap (lots of napping!) When they were 10.5 weeks (6.5 weeks adjusted) they started sleeping 8-9 hours a night. Hang in there, it wont be like this forever!!!

Shely~ Mom to 1+bbg

They don't really spit up, even during tummy time. Once in a while there will be more than just a dribble out the side of on of their mouths, but that's it and not all of time. They seem ok right after feeding for a while until they get tired, then sometimes they are not easily settled. It does seems like they rarely fall into a good sleep (usually never at the time I want them to.. LOL!), and have a hard time falling asleep, period. Sometimes they are perfect, like right now. They were just fed and changed and are quietly on lying on the floor. But more often than not they don't like being free on the floor and won't settle until swaddled up and back in to the bouncy seat or swing, or being held. Is that normal?

When does it get better? LOL! I'd like to know where the light at the end of my tunnel is!!

1 + GGG Spontaneous triplets!
Born @ 33w 6d. =)

This is a tough time for sure. We did the 3 hour schedule around the clock until our trio were 5 months (2.5 months adjusted). I tried to keep them awake to play during the day and then worked on sleeping at night. They weren't ready to go into their cribs before that and frankly, it was easier for me to keep them in the living room. I converted a chaise lounger into a "bed" for them and set up boppies to prevent accidental rolls. The key is that you get sleep...my husband and I had shifts. I slept from 7pm-1am and he slept from 1am-7am, we were on an 8, 11, 2, 5 schedule for so long. I was eventually able to increase their amounts and we now stretch to 4 hours during the day and sleep from 7pm-7am. It will get better!!

PS- I swaddled as long as they would allow. They slept better and knew that it was time to sleep when the swaddle happened. I love the Aden & Anais blankets.

Yes that is normal. At that age they can not do a lot on the floor. I used to have mine in the swing or bouncy seat or even in a Johnny Jumper with rolled up blankets packed around them almost constantly rotating them, when they were about that age. I would be lucky to get them to do 15 minutes of tummy time a day because they would just scream.

I want to say when mine were about 4 months old it started getting drastically better. They started rolling over better, which lead to them rolling around the room and up and down the halls, becoming more mobile and independent, which kept them occupied with out my assistance.

Shely~ Mom to 1+bbg

I felt the same way when we brought ours home. Ours are only 8 months now! But I know exactly how you feel. I felt like I was always doing something wrong because one of them was always unhappy. Ours were in the NICU for 2 weeks and were on a very strict 4 hour schedule. We kept them on that for a long time because we couldn't let them sleep through feedings, the doctor wanted us to wake them up to eat. My husband and I worked in shifts to but he leaves for work at 5 am so he had to get the majority of the sleep. I felt like I was loosing my mind and all the help that was offered throughout my pregnancy never showed up. I was pretty much on my own, with my three year old. Just know it does get better. I think around four or five months mine finally started sleeping until five am, which was heaven. And just this past week they are sleeping till 7! I wish I had the energy to get up first and have some time to myself but who am I kidding I sleep!

The one thing that helped me is I switched them to a feeding every three hour schedule and I keep a very strict schedule. Without my schedule and my triplet mom friends on face book I don't know what I would do. It does get better. Mine are just now starting to become mobile and I am scared out of my wits about what do!

Lindsay

I have almost 4 month olds (3 mos adjusted) and have 2 in cribs for the last 2 weeks, with a third in a rocking chair that is laid back. We were stuck at just over 2 hours for a while, and I switched it a bit and started wearing a stopwatch at night. After the last one was fed (feeding all three at the same time) I would hit start on the stopwatch. When someone woke up if 3 hours had not gone past, they got a pacifier instead. When 2 were awake after three hours all got woke up and fed. The good part was the the one(s) that had been on the pacifier were really ready to eat, so no difficulties getting them to eat. After we got to three hours on a sort of regular basis, I pushed the time out. Still not there (overnight) yet, and we had setbacks when I switched 2 of them 2 cribs, but it seems to work.
One other thing that I do, is I have the house as lit up and bright as possible during awake time, but when they go to their room for nightime, it is lights out (other than a book light I use to see in the dark). They have learned that dark room equals sleep time, and if they fuss, it is usually 5 minutes or less before the lay quietly. As an aside, I read somewhere to look at the clock when they start fussing at the go to bed time, and actually focus on the clock rather than focusing on them. Something about the crying makes time slow to a crawl, but the clock proves to you that it is not really that long. Hang in there!

Mike

www.mikethedad.com

dad of BBG
Born 12-16-09 at 35w 0d
Jack 4lb 11oz
Joe 6lb 0 oz
Samantha 5lb 4oz

hang in there! the first few months are the most mentally and physically demanding. It's a complete blur to me. We kept ours in the living room in swings for several months. We swaddled them until almost six months. It's easy for people to tell you what would be best, but you just need to do what you can handle. I rarely did tummy time when they were so little. They would just freak out and I couldn't stand to hear them that way. I did try to keep them awake as much as possible during the day to help at night. My husband wrote out a schedule so we could each get five hours of sleep each day uninterrupted. It will get better! About six months and it'll be much more enjoyable!

Sarah

Hi there! I don't have any great advice. Actually I just wanted to say that my babies are exactly the same age and I read your post and thought "we are living parallel lives!" You could have been writing about my babies. If you have any interest in exchanging emails/support, feel free to contact me at jnathanphd@gmail.com.

Good luck!
julie

Mine are a year old now and rest assured, things get a little better every day.

Cribs are too big for tiny infants, swaddling and sleeping in boppies helps that. Mine slept like that until 6 months, swaddled until nine months! by then I was using a torn up king sized flannel sheet as a swaddling blanket.

Most importantly though, get help. if you can't afford a nanny, get an au pair. If you don't have room for one, work shifts with your hubby, using podees so that you can do a feed by yourself. you need at least one REM cycle of sleep in order to function and keep depression at bay.

Good luck!

Eliza