My children have suddenly developed very difficult personalities. They are always whining and picking arguments -- if not with each other, then with me. If I ask them to do something, they argue with me. If I'm trying to get something done, they interfere.

And, worst of all, when I'm under stress and needing their help and support, they are playing like they're babies and demanding all kinds of help that they really don't need.

Since all of us are going through the same age groups at the same time, perhaps all of you are also experiencing this? If not, then I have clearly done something wrong. Let me know what I should be doing differently. And, if all of us are going through this, let's confab and find some ways to make it stop.

I know one mistake I have made: I finally become upset enough at them that I "take away" something. Last week, my son behaved so badly that I took away the Saturday Halloween party. (He pinched my daughter so hard that he drew blood, and left a bruise that Child Protective Services would have removed my children for if the fingerprints had been my-sized.) Anyway, the party was thrown by an attorney friend of mine and I really wanted to go. Also, Caeleigh did not deserve to lose the party, and I had nobody to care for Caidan. Needless to say, we went, which completely defeated my punishment.

I'm working too many hours and this may be part of the problem with their behavior. I'm generally working two overnights a week in addition to the M-F, and they've even expressed the fact that they are praying that I not have to work so hard. But, when I'm home, instead of curling up and snuggling with me and being cooperative, they are pulling stunts and being disobedient.

And, I'm also so stressed right now that it isn't even funny. None of my clients are paying their bills, and I have to come up with about $45k in the next week or so. (LOL!!! You see, I'm not one of these folks who seeks "public assistance" by crying out to all of you -- all I'm asking for is prayers, ladies! Unless, of course, one of you just happens to have an extra $45k hanging around...lololololol!!!)

In fact, the combination of too much work, too little money, and poorly behaved children has me broken out in hives right now! But, I'm heading to church to teach my 3-4 year old class and rally the Navajo Mission Christmas Love Gifts -- which I'm doing for two churches and the Community Pre-School and which I adore doing.

I know, I just posted about Maryann's lovely work -- and, I'll go ahead and have the portraits done because I know that there are some things that you can never recapture. This is the reason that I provide dance lessons that I cannot afford, gymnastics classes that I cannot afford, and soccer. It's the reason that I invest the time in helping my children study phonics, and the reason why I have them in Jr. Kindergarten, despite the fact that I also have their nanny. I simply recognize that these are the good old days, and that I can never go back. And, I would gladly have them be babies all over again and even go through the terrible twos and the worse than awful 3's.

Man, I'm whining, aren't I?

If you have room on your prayer lists, please pray for me and my children. And, if you have other suggestions of excellent and effective punishments for smart-alecky nearly 5-year olds, please advise. Also, please know that spanking in our household does not work at all -- Caeleigh's head is much harder than her bottom and I will not use spanking for Caidan if I will not use it for Caeleigh. It's just that I'm having problems figuring out what to take away that will punish them very effectively without punishing me.

I do know the consistency is the most important thing with discipline, and this is part of my problem right now -- I need to find something that I can ALWAYS enforce, no matter where I am or what we are doing. And, I know that I need to deal with transgressions immediately -- but, it could get to feeling like I was just constantly yelling and/or disciplining them.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgghghhhhhhh!!!!

Calgon, take me away.

Oh.

That sounds like it would itch even more than the hives.

And, any ideas for hives would also be welcomed.

Love,
Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://b3.lilypie.com/bDA

Cat

No words of wisdom for you.....just understanding where you are coming from. My trio are just a few months older than yours. They are the most amazing, incredible, thoughtful, inquisitive little people one minute. Then their heads spin around and they are whiny, thoughtless, angry, and just generally miserable little monsters! What happened? I never get what sets them off sometimes. DD once yelled that her brother was BREATHING too loud

The fighting with each other makes me crazy! I swear my son just enjoys making the girls scream! And then he comes over, snuggles in my arms and says...."Mommmy, your beautiful!" and for the life of me I can't remember why I was about to do him in. We too have tried the behavior chart on the wall. It is amazing what happens to the tantrums when they know I am headed to the chart to add negative points. Our rewards are things like: ice cream, trip to the store with Mommy, movies, etc. They all watch the chart vigilantly to see where they are. Seems to be working for now.

Try not to beat yourself up Cat. The days when I need someone to snuggle me and tell me life will be OK are inevitably the days they have a meltdown. My older DD has taken to telling the trio...."Do you see the look on Mommy's face? Who do you think is going to win this battle?" She is 10 and has learned when to push and when to snuggle. This is a skill that the trio had better pick up on quickly for their own good

Kim

OMG -- we have had the fight over breathing too loudly too! That is too funny!


Tara

Mom to BBG born at 33wks on 4/3/03