I am SO FURIOUS with my girls!!!! For the millionth week in a row, I picked them up from Playball to hear about their misbehavior.

Today, Camille & Meredith were laying on top of some poor other girl. And the coach asked them to stop, and as soon as she turned her back, they were right back at it.

Just to add insult to injury, Camille kept hitting Elise throughout the 45 minute class.

This behavior apparently always pops up when the class is doing a skill that they can't do. The thing is, all of my kids are way behind w/r/t their motor skills, and they sure didn't inherit any athletic ability from me. So this is truly just something that they have to learn to deal with. They can't attack other kids every time they get frustrated!

So far, I have taken away priviledges, spanked, talked through it and explained appropriate reactions, spoken numerous times with the coach to let her know that I fully support her in disciplining them as needed, etc.

What else am I supposed to do? I really don't want to pull them out. They are already so far behind, and it's a great program that I really feel like they are getting a lot out of. They are in the class for kids who are a little younger than them (Elise's age), but the other kids are the same size. I don't think my kids realize they are the oldest.

HELP!!

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

do you roleplay frustration at home? when mine would get frustrated building something or doing a puzzle, we would role play proper responses and behaviors. instead of whining/screaming/throwing 'I CAN'T DO IT!', I'd have them think of some other options (ie like Love and Logic proposes). we'd end up settling on 'mommy, I'm having a little trouble doing this. would you help?'. it has helped alot. I don't hear that dreaded I CANT very much anymore, and it calms them down just to have to think of something else to say/do.

can you ask the coach what to practice at home? get a heads up for what they might do the next week so you can preview it with them?

Does James do the class as well? Is Elise well-behaved? I'm thinking that positive re-inforcement and reward of proper behavior might be worth trying. Make a white board of 3 or 4 basic rules, review and have them repeat, and inform the coach. If they follow all the rules, they get a sticker. bring the calendar and stickers with you at the end of class and hand out promptly. so many stickers and x reward. perhaps if they see James and Elise getting the stickers and praise etc?

we started sticker charts/reward for the first time a month or so ago to tame bedtime. we have 5 bedtime rules posted. they review them each night. in the morning they get a sticker if they followed the rules. their big reward is taking part in 'family movie night' (something I made up for this purpose. basically, on Friday night, we watch a movie (very short one (30-45 min), with popcorn, lights dimmed etc). it's worked very well- some testing from time to time, but a huge improvement!

good luck!

Mary

born 12/12/04 33w2d

>do you roleplay frustration at home? when mine would get
>frustrated building something or doing a puzzle, we would role
>play proper responses and behaviors. instead of
>whining/screaming/throwing 'I CAN'T DO IT!', I'd have them
>think of some other options (ie like Love and Logic proposes).
> we'd end up settling on 'mommy, I'm having a little trouble
>doing this. would you help?'. it has helped alot. I don't
>hear that dreaded I CANT very much anymore, and it calms them
>down just to have to think of something else to say/do.

Yeah, but with Camille, it has been useless thus far. The other three totally have it (at least they know what I want them to do). Camille is just a challenge all around!



>can you ask the coach what to practice at home? get a heads
>up for what they might do the next week so you can preview it
>with them?

It's the basic same things every week. Throwing, catching, kicking, hitting - hand/eye coordination. They just are not very good at it. And we practice and practice and practice.



>Does James do the class as well? Is Elise well-behaved? I'm
>thinking that positive re-inforcement and reward of proper
>behavior might be worth trying. Make a white board of 3 or 4
>basic rules, review and have them repeat, and inform the
>coach. If they follow all the rules, they get a sticker.
>bring the calendar and stickers with you at the end of class
>and hand out promptly. so many stickers and x reward.
>perhaps if they see James and Elise getting the stickers and
>praise etc?

James is actually significantly further behind than the big girls, but he really doesn't care. He works hard and has a blast participating. Elise is so thrilled to be included with the big kids, that she doesn't dare get out of line.

Stickers are definitely worth a try.

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

>It's the basic same things every week. Throwing, catching, kicking, >hitting - hand/eye coordination. They just are not very good at it. >And we practice and practice and practice.

Mine can't do those things well AT ALL. They love to try, but it is like a big joke, lol. Catching is maybe once out of 7 if I through it *just* right. Kicking is not likely and throwing usually means *duck* for us.

Knowing how my kids love to do it when they play, I could easily see them getting frustrated if they were trying to attempt it for more than 5-10 minutes and HAD to keep going. Sounds pretty normal to me actually.

Maybe they just need something else to do when they are getting bored or frustrated with it. Tell them it is okay to go sit on the side or something. This may work out better for them since they just may not know what to do when they don't want to to it anymore.

Laura & Don
BBB 5/05
www.ourbighappy.blogspot.com

"