You likely have time and energy to love on and read with your kids because you've had a schedule, are consistant with discipline, etc.

Don't have a clue about the goings on with regard to Facebook, nor do I have a clue about your real life. Just a thought.

As for me and my house....

I think people think I have it more together than I actually do. Same can be said for online and acquaintances. But, FWIW, I often see people I "know" online as fit, energetic, fun loving moms with neat and tidy homes. I've met many online friends in person and have since learned that all are just as "real" as me...except for a select few.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

You come off on the computer as someone who is overly obsessed with discipline and I think you are way too punitive. I also think you really really love your kids and would do anything for them, as evidenced by the amount of time and research you have put into their special needs.

I have literally wondered if your husband sends you away for a day on the weekends just to have a day where the kids can have some freedom, where they don't have to stand on a spot, etc. I think you go way overboard, but I don't think you physically abuse your children, but I wonder what will happen when they get to think for themselves someday.

I wish you never would have read the Godly Tomato book. I think that brainwashed you.

But I have never once thought that you didn't love or show love to your kids.

So that's my online impression.

I'm sure in real life you are kind and nice and I'm sure I would like you. I would probably try to make you laugh at that things you take so seriously, because I don't.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Based on the responses I have read from you on this forum over the years and FB my IMPRESSION, since you ASKED, is someone who thinks children are objects to be fiercly "controlled" at the expense of their "submission." Like tiny think-less drones, perhaps. Which in no may speaks about how you do or do not love them. I have no clue where your heart may lie on that subject. Nor, I should think, would it even matter to you.

The fact that you think the facebook discussion was a "fight" further illustrates how you perceive and interact within your world as if everything is a "personal" attack on you and needs to "controlled" or "forced". My impression is that you may feel that with your children as well.


I have also read posts that leave me with the impression that you might think children are robots that can be "made" to be, do, say, act....in the only acceptable way that you see fit.

For the record, I don't fight with grown-ups. I thought your status post yesterday indicated an arrogant pride at having "power" over a unruly child who made a mistake.

"I horrified another mom today at the pool. Elise was supposed to be sitting on the bench about 15 feet away from me, while I was poolside to support the kid swimming. I motioned to Elise several times to sit down on her bottom when I noticed that she was squatting on the bench, standing, etc. As was inevitable, she fell off the bench on her face. Instead of comfort, she got a lecture from mom about listening."

Obviously, I may have misinterpreted your intention and true meaning to that post. Since you have not said otherwise, I am left to my original impression. In the end, you need to think for yourself. It doesnt really matter what anyone else thinks.

Daune
Momma to
Kayla 1/93
Ella, Evan, Peyton 3/05
Maelina 5/08
http://theobrienbunch.blogspot.com/

I am not sure how other people perceive me...I haven't had an out of body experience recently and my other personalities don't tell me anything useful

I suspect though that people would be surprised that I am much quieter in real life than on TC and as a parent walk the line between the position of disciplining because I am to be their parent and not their friend because they need it to grow up and be happy and healthy and the opposite position of wanting to just hug them and let them be carefree and be their best buddy. (the line we all walk) I also tend to research something to death before I ask a question or ask for help, but when help is needed I go all out trying to get what is needed.

I also learned years ago that peoples outsides and insides don't match. I will always feel inadequate if I compare my insides to what I see of someone elses outsides.


Susan

Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07




http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message

  

This is an interesting post, and as I have no idea how people perceive me online, I guess I donīt really know how it matches up with the real me. I donīt post all that often, but I would be interested to know how I come across.

Not really on topic, Megan, but I would like to meet you in real life. I think we might have a few things in common...except I think you have way more energy and initiative than I do! I see in your posts a dedicated, loving, committed Mom whose goal is to to help her kids know true fulfillment and happiness in Christ. I pray God will continue to give you this drive.

Dionne
Happily married to Juan Carlos and mother of:
Gabriela
Laura
Katalina
Born January 28, 2006 at 34 weeks

I'd like to think that I'm pretty similar...although my self-perception may be a bit off! I tend to think that my life/house/kids are always in total chaos and disarray, but people tell me all the time that they can't believe how in control I am. For instance...all three of my kiddos go to school in tied shoes at least once a week. Other mothers marvel that I can get all three kids into clothes and laced up shoes! My impression of our arrival at school: We are late, someone's pony tail is already falling out, I forgot to wash at least one face, and no one remembered to go tee-tee (and I get to tell the teacher that they'll need to be reminded ASAP). The teachers and other parents are impressed...and I can't figure out why! My dirty dishelved full-bladdered children are 10 minutes late for school...yeah..they do have their shoes tied though!

My impression of you is that you are a bit too type A, and a bit too worried about making everything a learning experience for your kids...and at the same time I wonder how on earth you can keep up your schedule, fix your kids healthy meals, and still have the energy to teach them things! WOW!

Alice

GGG born 9/3/05 at 35w3d

Online versus reality...

Yes, I am just as crazy in real life as I portray myself to be online.

I see you, Megan, as the type of mother who loves her kids but wants them to fall in line every step of the way. Personally? Not for me. I prefer to loosen the reins and allow my kids more freedom, even if I know they're making mistakes. They learn and I have less stress in my life. I don't enjoy being micromanaged, and I'm sure my kids don't either.

Which way is right? I honestly don't know. We can reconvene in twenty years and see if any of them turn out to be serial killers.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

I think I am viewed as more gentle-hearted and understanding than I am in real life. I am perhaps viewed as more passive and persuadable than normal. I might even be seen as a push over. You know, the shy type. I think this online community has me all wrong. But, heck, what do I know?

(PS, Megan, what do you care what someone online thinks of your parenting abilities? As long as you are the type of mom you and you husband agree on, then everyone else should kiss your tee hiney boo!)

No idea how others perceive me. I think you have to let it go, though, Megan. You have to know who you are and figure out a way to let the opinions of others roll off your back. They don't know you. And you don't know them.

There are many wonderful things about online communities, and I could write paragraphs about those things. But some of the challenges of online communities are that authentic relationships are hard to establish because it is hard to really get to know other human beings online. Plus, we are dealing with alot of emotionally charged issues which, unless you happen to be of the same opinion or a really great communicator, means we tend to argue more passionately and more personally than normal. Not saying it can't be done. Just saying it is difficult.

I am under no pretense that I'm a great mom. I make mistakes daily, by the hour. So I hope that I never come across as having all the answers. I hope I come across as another woman, another parent who respects tremendously anyone who takes on the task of parenting seriously. And I hope I am perceived as understanding, compassionate and (most importantly) able to laugh at myself. Children are beautiful and wonderful, certainly. But let's be honest and say that parenting can be immensely difficult.

The reality is that we are all imperfect. At least, that is what your faith orientation tells you as a Christian. You cannot be a perfect parent, which means you will not always do right by your kids. You will make mistakes. Big mistakes. Mistakes your children will be hurt by and hold against you at some point in their lives. That, unfortunately, is part of being a human being. But you will do the best you can. And hopefully, at least this is what I'm banking on, your children will also be able to recognize that. The other thing I try to remember is that the people I know who have not had to go through stuff are really not very substantive, interesting people. A perfect childhood, even if possible, doesn't yield to fulfilling adulthood.

So, Megan, I say this with all sincerity...try not to sweat the small stuff. Have some faith in yourself and the love you have for your children.

Susanne

gbg @ 31.6
5/2006

Online ~ I think I'm totally awesome.

Offline ~ I totally suck.

Both ~ I'm a cocky little a$$hole. That will never change.


Megan, just go with it girl. You do your thing, I'll do mine, everyone else will do theirs. If you don't like how someone is responding to you on FB then block them. Same goes for everyone else. I'm not on your FB page or Duane's so I don't know what's going on but I can tell it's breeding some angst. Work it out girls.


ETA for swear words.


Jamye

Love my GGG ~


2 years old.....How did that happen?
Born on 08/07/06

http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/

Online: I am sure I have been seen many different ways. Just depends on what type of posts I have been responding to at the time. Lately I am sure less than favorable because I speak my mind more than some would like.

In real life: My friends love me because I speak my mind and say what I am thinking. Other moms have some "wow" image because I do so much. I have that same image of so many of them as well.

Honestly I really don't care what other people think on or offline. It is far more telling to me to have happy, healthy, well adjusted, independent children than a good mommy image. A mommy image can be faked both on and offline. But the truth shows in the kids behavior and ability to cope in different situations. So I would much rather worry about how my kids perceive me than how virtual strangers on the Internet perceive me.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

Im pretty true to form. My net personalty and my IRL have changed quite a bit since I was 1st here. I went from being a blessed mama with love and rainbows to spread to the world, I had a great pair of rose colored glasses. The last 18mo or so have been filled with so much pain, suffering and loss that I am a burned out, pissed off, stressed trip mom that is not sure how it will ever get any better.

Especially being here in TC for a few years now, we see the drama come and go, a new "interesting member", fakers, I dont think anyone can help not rolling their eyes from time to time. I think it just takes some time and experience here to really "get" why certain members or specific posts get more heated reactions from others.

Etd to add that I really appreciate those that are real and lay it out there. True and pure honesty is refreshing and it really is the kindest thing we can do for one another. Sometimes we my not want to "hear" it ( read it) but getting a honest opinion or story from another mom that has BTDT is way better that offering some fluffy piece of BS

BBG 6/21/06

Me, myself and I are pretty much the same here, there and everywhere!

What do I think of what people think of me, I don't, so it's pretty easy!

Most of the time, I speak it as I see it!

Michelle

Tyler - 18
Steph - 16
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan - 4 ~33wk2d~
http://triplethefunplus2.blogspot.com/

Truly I don't care what people think of me online. I have a blog and a facebook to keep my family up to date on the babies, but I do love the facts that I have met new friends through these avenues.

But if I had to guess here goes:

Assumptions:
*I can't spell, which is true. I cringe when I reread some of my old posts.
*That I care about others, which is true I really do care.
*I am not the best writer so it may be thought that I am not very smart. I think that I am of average intelligence.
*I hope people think I am a good Mom. I feel that I am.

Ok so that is all I could think of.

Tanna

06/22/07 29 weeks 4 days
Lincoln 2 lbs 13 oz
Colton 2 lbs 14.4 oz
Dakota 2 lbs 11oz
http://tannastriplets.blogspot.com/

In real life people think I have it all together...I'm going to school full time, the girls do gymnastics, my son plays all his sports, we manage. People are always amazed that I keep a 4.0 with kids. I'm paying TOO much for school not to do my best. I hate to hurt people's feelings. I am a wuss in that aspect. I want to speak my mind more often, but I just am not that type of person and it makes me feel rude sometimes. I hate confrontation. Just my personality. I feel like I'm losing it as much as any other mom, I just hide it better. It annoys my husband that he gets the brunt of all my #### and people think I'm doing great. I hate asking for help and will stress myself out to the max before I do. I want to be the person that has it all together, but know that IRL no one has it all. Oh yeah, I've given up on having a neat house. Clean, yes, but neat no. I clean one room and the girls are trashing another one. One day I'll be lonely and have a clean house.

I think I'm pretty much the same online. Big fat scardey cat!

Becca

Check us out at...thepingels.com

OMG, I was seriously about to run outside in this storm and pray for lightning to strike me just so I wouldn't have to listen to my children scream anymore...but then I found this post. And in the time it took me to read through everything, my daughters finally shut up. Thanks for helping me pass the time...this was a good read

And because I'm already butting into the toddler forum, I think people online see me as both annoying, helpful, rude, blunt, and kind-hearted. Depends on the day and on who you ask.

As for real life, everybody loves me and I'm entertaining. I always go one step too far with the crap that falls out of my mouth, but if you're not a prude, then it's funny. And my babies think I'm hilarious.



Crystal
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/

I don't even think about how people see my on line and it doean't matter to me.

IRL, I know that I am the most loyal/loving person you will meet to those who are in my inner circle. If you are in my inner circle, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. There are only a few in my inner cirlce. My own family, my family I grew up with, and just a couple of friends. If you have crossed me even once...forget about it. You have a huge X in my book! You you fall somewhere in the middle where you are not in my circle but have not crossed me...I am friendly and polite but do not have the energy or time beyond that.

On a side note...Megan, you really come off as a very tough, strict personality/mom. Lots of things seem to really bother you. You and I have a very different idea of how to live life and raise kids. Not sure if this post you wrote is you wanting some feedback? NOt sure what happened on your facebook? Honestly though, everytime you post or repond to other's posts...you come off very very "nazi"ish. Your own words. I am sure you could careless about what I think, but I only respond as you are wondering about your on line personality. I hope IRL you are not as I read into based on your past postings.

Agapi

Proud Mommy of
Kaden, Rowen, Kai
BGB 03-22-05

FWIW, having read through most of the responses to your post you sound like a much nicer person than most of them!! JMHO.
As for what people thing of me online, frankly my dear.........

Fiona

Ds 4

DS, DD, DD 2

DS 1

Megan:

I loved this post. 'Thought I'd respond:

I am perceived as:

Rude, over-bearing and smug, thinking myself to have all answers to all questions, and able to leap tall buildings while looking down on the rest of the world. I have no clue about how to be cool, and I don't know crap about anything. I think that my children should be nominated to rule the world because they are so superior to everyone else's children. Oh, and there is a standing agreement among other TC members that whenever I post a reply to any topic, it immediately gets dropped by everybody -- a social shunning to make it clear that nobody wants to hear anything from me.

BTW, that is precisely why I posted a response to your query, since having everybody else stop replying in a nasty manner would likely be welcomed by you!! (Yeah, I know. That's true friendship!!)

EDITED TO ADD: For examples of this, please see the post about stinky dish rags. When I replied there were very few viewings of the post. Now there are lots of viewings and no further replies!! Or, try out the post about lunches! That one's a beauty!!

Online personas DO change over time, and sometimes it has nothing to do with whether you have changed or not. The current perception of me arose during a hostile take-over about two years ago where a group of very nice people left TC permanently and a group of questionable types asserted themselves as being fashion-ably "snarky." I suppose that when everyone figures out that these people are not really "cool" at all, they will be banished to the outer realm, and the "new cool" crowd will then come into fashion. Lord knows who and/or what they will be...

Who am I in real life? Honey, most days I wouldn't even hazard a guess. I'm a genuinely caring person, though, and it is clear to me that you were intrigued by the difference in how one can be perceived online and who one is in real life. I didn't hear you ask to be attacked or bashed in your post and, yet, you were clearly attacked and bashed by people who want to consider themselves "cool."

My perception of a lot of the folks who claim that they "don't care about what others think of them?" A lot of them are bored little dweebs with insufficient imagination to entertain themselves without being rude and obnoxious; and are smugly secure that they, and the rest of the "in crowd" (a truly high school concept) are the important ones with important opinions.

Of course, I'd probably think the same thing about them in real life, so go figure, huh??

BTW, you've caught me on about my 16th day of Vertigo, trying to struggle through managing my business and meeting payroll. Most days I probably wouldn't be so refreshingly honest!! 'Hope everyone who likes honesty so much has thoroughly enjoyed this one!!

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

I'm just posting so that Cat won't be last and feel we've all abandoned the thread now that she's weighed in, lol!

I don't know that I even leave a big impression online. I read a lot but don't often post. The biggest challenge is that there's no "tone" to email, so if I forget y'all don't know me IRL, and people won't always understand my quipp-y fun-ness. I rule, damm*t. (And I'm only editing that because I'm kinda clueless as to wether writing it would actually get my post pulled) Sometimes when I respond to people on here, it probably is worded a little nicer than I might say it IRL just because I don't want to leave a bad impression ALL THE TIME. And, I tend to respond to posts that get me fired up.

IRL I love my kiddos, I'm super fun and outgoing, I laugh a lot, I go to church but don't try to push my beliefs on others. I'll try almost anything once, and I believe that I'm kinda blunt when it comes to calling people out when they can't use the logic that they should have been born with (esp my sil but that's a whole 'nother topic) and I wish my house was vacuumed at least once a week - but I can't have everything, right? Sometimes I feel like if my fingernails were shorter I'd fall off this ledge I'm on. But then my friends come over and tell me that my house is super-clean, I'm fun and sane and my kids are well behaved, and they ask how we manage it all.

I dunno, I'm tired. MSTAR, you b*tch! lol Just kiddin, thought you'd just like some more random hate mail

Amy

Our little hoodlums:
Jacob - 2lb 15oz
Noah - 1lb 8 oz
Samuel - 1lb 15 oz
DOB: 8/9/06 at 28+1



www.caringbridge.org/visit/ralstontriplets