Anyone read about this? What are your thoughts? It's compelling to me, but also scary. Google it and see what you think. My MIL is ultra paranoid about safety. My dh is the first to admit that he grew up sheltered and ultimately afraid of taking risks b/c of it; he's overcome so much but he was really limited. It's like he didn't believe he was capable of operating independently in the world. My background is very different, but almost to the other extreme. We never went to the doctor. Ever. Even when we should have. And my parents took stupid risks like taking us sailing without life jackets even on the boat. But I also grew up with a sense of confidence that I could deal with whatever came my way.

Sorry this is long, but I'm curious...thoughts? Is anyone trying to do more of this? How do you find a happy medium?

Susanne

gbg @ 31.6
5/2006

I was sort of raised in this manner. At age six my mom would leave me alone for an hour or more at a time while she was at work. We just kept the burglar alarm on, the shades closed, i wasn't allowed to answer the door...but I knew all of the neighbors, important phone numbers, and I was comfortable doing this from time to time.

I also used to wake up early on weekends and make my own breakfast...eggs and toast, around the same age.

My cousins and I would walk about a half mile or so from my grandparents house to the mall almost daily during the summers when we were maybe ten years old.

I started babysitting the neighbors kids when I was 11.

I'm not so sure I would feel good about my daughters doing the same thing at the same ages. Thinking back, I was very mature, resourceful, and confident, so I can definitely see how I was able to manage through doing these things...but I just get nervous thinking about giving my children such freedom. Maybe I will feel differently as they approach these ages...I just don't know

I like the idea of this as I feel it is highly important to instill in our children responsibility and confidence. It is also important to build a mutual trust. By giving children a little more freedom here and there, I think parents can achieve all of the above. I'm sure it's not easy and I would probably be worried sick if I parented this way on a daily basis.


Crystal
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/

I think when you have more than 2 kids, and definitely triplets who are mobile, it would be impossible not to do a little more free range parenting, just out of necessity. Otherwise, I think you'd end up with a nervous breakdown. It's just impossible to keep up with them ALL of the time and supervise EVERY minute.

But I think as HOM parents, we actually have an advantage because we know that our kids are never *really* alone, which I think is the driving fear behind a lot of hovering parents: they are trying to avoid having their child feel alone and scared. But with triplets, they are never alone. I know that I have a lot easier time letting my child cry it out at night because I know that there are 2 other's in the room with them. I know that if they are playing out in the yard and someone gets hurt, there is another witness to run in and get help. It's actually a very nice crutch as a parent.

My friends think I am way lenient. At 6, my mom would leave me with my younger brothers while she went for a run. At 8, I rode city buses all over. When I was 10, I flew to Europe alone.... at 19, I decided to get married. Yes, there is a lot of self confidence instilled, that is for sure.

I think the key is making sure your children are prepared, not just sent off without any instruction. Like all parenting, it's training. It takes time and effort. It's not about just being a lazy parent and letting kids fend for themeselves. And I think that is where the happy medium is- the parent. Are they lazy? Or is it part of the job description: parent-ing and training?
Fun question! thanks!

Tiffany
BBG @ 31.4 weeks
on 11/27/06
3.11
3.6
2.14



baby girl born on 7/24/08

I read that website and I've written about it on my blog before.

I would say that I fall in the middle of free range and hovering. I grew up extremely free range. I, too, was riding the bus at 8, in charge of my 6 year old sister. I had a paper route at 12 and delivered papers by myself at 5 in the morning. I am also fiercely independent.

At the same time, I feel I wasn't always getting proper guidance. My mother simply wasn't involved in so many aspects of my life.

I don't buy everything she writes about and do tend to think that sometimes they are justifying neglectful parenting, but I do get the overall message.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Interesting. I guess I fall more on the free-range side. my 11 year old cooks (alone) and rides his bike regularly to a friend's house (friend is rarely allowed to ride here, and must check in on arrival and leaving).

I do walk the triplets to the bus stop. They're in second grade, and I've been debating if I need to continue. The older kids went alone from 1st grade on. It's on the corner, about 2 houses away. The only reason I still go with them is that the boys are still so wild together that I'm afraid they'll be too playful and push each other too close to the street.

I think starting tomorrow I'll watch from my house and see how it goes. Then I can still yell at them if needed...they have been doing much better so far this year.

Kari S.

Mom to BBB 21, 18, 14
BBG 9/25/01

Despite what she says about statistics, I DO think the world is a scarier place today...there are more teen pregnancies, more & younger drug use in schools, and more crime in general, I think.

Maybe it is all in your perspective. My husband thinks I am overprotective but I practiced criminal law for awhile...and there are SCARY people out there...even your small little towns (where I worked could be any small town in Midwestern America).

I don't know how you balance independence with safety...and I guess that is just one of the many modern day parenting challenges.

Alice

GGG born 9/3/05 at 35w3d

I am probably over protective of my children, but having worked in a college office I am truly annoyed by the helicopter parents that try to do everything for their children who are in college. That is time to grow up.

My son is 12 and he is able to ride his bike to the gaming center or the corner grocery store. He also has a cell phone and knows he better answer it when I call to check on him. I just started leaving him home alone. We are close with our next door neighbors and they have a 13 year old son and when they aren't going to be home they call over to make sure he can come to us if he needs anything and vice versa. I can't imagine leaving him alone at age 6, but that's just me. He is pretty responsible, but I am still concerned about all the freaks in the world.

There are also laws in some states on what age you can leave your children at home alone. I know in Illinois it is 13. I am not sure, but I'm assuming if your child is younger than that and left home alone and something happens, they can charge you with child neglect. I agree that some kids are more mature and can handle it and others would have issues at 14. I just prefer to ere on the side of caution, if something happened I could never live with myself.

My child is expected to have responsibility though. He has chores and earns money. He helps around the house, is expected to clean his room, he has choices and is allowed to make them, but sometimes I have to have the final word. I respect my children and believe that moral autonomy is very important, I just don't feel that allowing them to be 100% free range is the best way for my family to achieve that. I don't have all the answers, but we have a pretty decent balance I think. My son makes wise choices and is a good kid.

Becca

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