Happy Holidays, everyone!

I wanted to ask what other parents do who have their children’s' birthday in December and who also celebrate Christmas. My trio just turned 4 on the 3rd! They received a lot of gifts and we are always so grateful to family and friends who think of them on their special day.

Many family and friends ask me if they can combine their Birthday and Christmas gifts. I always leave that decision up to the person buying the gift. My kids have never really gotten into the gift idea until this year. They are getting really excited about Christmas now. However, they just received the majority of their Christmas gifts as birthday gifts too. They will get a few presents from Mom and Dad (AKA Santa) this year but that may be it. I realize Christmas is not about the gifts - so please don't take me wrong here. I am teaching them the meaning of this Holiday.

My question is: When people ask to combine their gifts, should I say, "We prefer separate gifts?" I know cash is hard to come by when people buy so many gifts this time of year. And throwing a birthday into the mix just makes it that much harder (let alone a triplet birthday). I guess I can now say the more I think about it, the more I want to separate their birthday and Christmas. I have a niece who celebrates her birthday on January 3rd. She is 18 now and says she always feels a bit "jipped" on her birthday (because people combine her gifts). I don't want my kids feeling this as they grow older.

I just find myself in a strange position because I am grateful for any gift that is given to my kids and I don't feel it is proper of me to tell people, "No. We prefer two gifts." I know money it tight for many people right now and my kids would be truly happy with two small, cheap toys. Any thoughts, suggestions and advice? How do I tell family and friends to seperate these two special days for my kids in a very nice and respectful way?

Thanks!
Alicia

Bedtime story videos. Children stories read by a grandma of triplets: http://storiesbynana.blogspot.com/

I have a girlfriend who was born on Dec 24th.
Talk about being overshadowed!

I really think the kids need their own birthday celebration. I would maybe tell people that the kids already share a birthday with their siblings and you really want them to think of Christmas as Christ's birthday, not just a part of allDecember birthdays.

Our family has gone to picking names for aunts, uncles and cousin gifts. Would this help?

At any rate, I would definately tell others that the kids will be celebrating their birthday on Dec xx and they are welcome to give birthday presents or not and to give Christmas presents or not but to definately NOT give a combined gift.

One of my good friends has a child whose bday is in mid-December. They celebrate her birthday (party & all) on her 1/2 birthday. They ask that all gifts from family & so on be given then. I definitely would NOT celebrate their birthday between Thanksgiving & Christmas - you are just inviting people to try & combine. What about giving a Halloween bday party? Late fall?

If people ask, they want to know. "We would prefer two small gifts to one combined one. But please don't spend much - truly they just love the unwrapping part!"

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

Our kiddos birthday is the 26th... the day after Christmas, Christmas is crazy enough with having to balance my family and my in-laws and all the excitement that birthday would be lost in the mix, not too mention every last penny of mine

So we decided this past year to celebrate their 1/2 birthday. It worked out GREAT. Winter, indoor fun presents for Christmas and summer, outdoor gifts for birthday. Not too mention, as the kids get a little older it's certainly a lot easier to entertain a bunch of kids to celebrate outdoors!

These are some great ideas! I never heard of celebrating their 1/2 birthday! I like it! My husband and I joke about celebrating their conception day (since we did an IVF and know the exact date). However, I think the kids will be "grossed out" with that as they age. Ha Ha. 1/2 birthday party is a much better idea.

Thanks!
Alicia

My birthday was yesterday, so I should be kind of an expert on this, hahaha.

It wasn't really a big deal. A lot of relatives would just "skip over" my birthday altogether, and some would spend more on one big present.

Try not to focus on the material aspect of it, and maybe try to have the relatives do something ELSE special for them, like send a card, give a call, or take them out for lunch/supper, etc... That would likely be more memorable.

And I BET if you say to the relatives, "I don't mind if you combine gifts, but if you're going to do it, please make a point to acknowledge their birthday in another way, even if it's not with a gift. We don't want them to think their birthday is less important because it's so close to the holidays," most people would probably realize the importance of the day and cough up another present anyway! Sometimes people don't see the other perspective until it hits them in the face, LOL

My dad was born a week after Christmas, I was born 2 weeks before Christmas, and my girls were born 2 weeks after Christmas. Seems like we're making a tradition out of this.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

I should add that by the age of about 3 or 4, we had so much CRAP (ie: toys) in our house that I was asking people NOT to buy so much stuff!

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

I myself was born on Jan. 8th and my oldest son was born on Dec. 20th. I know we are all being very politically correct and saying that the presents don't matter and all that, but really it did kind of suck when I got so many of my presents combined. When I was older I actually liked it, but when I was little I liked opening presents. Who doesn't! I always have my son's birthday several weeks early. So far we haven't really had anyone try to combine gifts, but on DH's side most of the family will stop coming to birthday parties after he turns 5. So it will be a mute point. I agree with the previous posters to try to make it as special as possible, and to make sure they understand their birthday is just as important as anyone else's! (So far we have never gotten into the 1/2 birthday thing.)

Tiffany
DS 12/20/04
GBG 2/22/07
34 weeks

My 30-something nephew's and my soon-to-be 13 year old niece's bd is Dec. 26. We always give them 2 separate gifts. My niece has always had a bday party on Dec. 26th, and it's always a hit - lots of kids show up. My bday is Jan. 10th - personally, I wouldn't want to celebrate my bday 6 months after my actual bday, but maybe that's just me.

I think my answer would depend on why your family and friends are asking you about combining gifts. Do they think your kids would prefer one bigger more expensive gift instead of two smaller ones? If so, I would tell them that your kids would prefer 2 smaller less expensive gifts (until they're older when they might prefer the one expensive gift - lol). If the reason they're asking is because they can't afford to spend a lot of money, I would still say that your kids would prefer 2 gifts AND suggest to them that they can buy the presents at the dollar store; tell them that it's not about how much they spend but about acknowledging their bday separately.

GL -- Gloria

My birthday is Dec. 19 and my boys' is Dec. 20. I can say from personal experience, it sucks having your birthday lumped in with Christmas. I don't care now, but when I was growing up, it always hurt my feelings. I think Loren's way of phrasing it to others is about as tactful and eloquent as it can get.

Starting next year, I plan on having their b-day party the weekend before school lets out for the Thanksgiving holidays. For us, our birthdays fall right about the same time that school lets out for Christmas break. The only thing worse than not getting presents for your b-day is having a party when families are starting to go out of town for the holidays.

Anyway, I would tell other people exactly what Loren said. If I know that someone is short on cash, but would like to get them something, balloons and dollar store gifts are good suggestions.

Jenny
single mom to spontaneous BBB 34w 2d

http://lilypie.com>

I think you should ask for two smaller gifts. My birthday is January 2 and I hated when people combined gifts when I was little. When people ask you, tell them "No, they love opening gifts at this age." You can even come up with some suggestions of smaller/cheaper gifts that they may like. When they get older, there gifts will be more expensive and than they will be happy to combine gifts.

Stefanie

Mom to BGB
33 weeks 6 days
3/3/07

Congrats on making it to age 3! I consider myself a semi-expert on the topic of birthday-near-Christmas. My cousin (one of my best friends) has a birthday right near Christmas, my husband's birthday is a few days away from it, and I have a nephew born on Christmas eve. I try to make sure to give a birthday gift that is in very un-holiday colors and covered with birthday cheer. Everyone deserves to be told how special they are, and how happy you are that they were born!

In this tough economy though, it sounds like you made the right choice to let people decide what they can do. If you celebrate their birthday (and as they get older you'll have parties with kids) they'll feel special about their special day.

My sister celebrates her son's (my nephew) birthday in early December so the day is not lost in the shadow of Christmas.


http://lilypie.com>

A Dec baby (14th)chiming in here. Your birthday is your birthday. I got both combined and separate gifts, but always had a simple birthday celebration of some sort. It never even occurred to me to be disappointed about the birth date, or the way gifts were received. DH birthday is Dec. 18 and in 12 years we've never discussed any impact this had on us as kids--apparently it had none. Our niece turns 4 on the 23rd and will get separate gifts from us as always. The gift giver should not feel obligated one way or the other.

Aloha,
Kelli
BBB 6/4/06 @ 29wks 4 days
GG 4/30/09