Has anyone else noticed that there is no follow up to the "What to Expect..." books once your child has reached two years old?? I've been thinking what a shame that is because, as Suzan just posted, there are some legitimate questions regarding what one should expect and/or anticipate with children as they are getting older.

One of the things that I'm noticing with my kids is that I've suddenly begun treating them like they are 7 or 8 or maybe...? I know that they go from being "babies" to being "children," but it seems that we are very quickly dropping them into a huge category that doesn't really take into consideration the differences between say 5 year olds and 8 year olds.

And, I noticed yesterday how little and babyish most of the 5 year olds appear from the kindergarten class -- and I question why I have presumed that my children are so grown up. It seems like we are either pushing the kids too hard, or not hard enough.

Am I alone on this?

BTW, it's one of the reasons that I love TC and still hang out here. We really have something special to share with each other!

Thanks for being here.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

YES!!!! I feel like I am just winging it - nothing to look at to see if what they are doing it normal. Or if they should be doing something that they are not!
There is a great deal of information right here on TC!
Does this mean you are thinking about writing something? If you do I will be getting one!
Melissa

Melissa
mom to Abbie, Andy & Levi
November 11, 2005
34 weeks 5 days

http://benefieldtriplets.blogspot.com/

""

I think it's a lot harder to give solid advice in a quick-look-up format for the over 3 crowd, because the range of what is normal development is so broad.

Milestones and expectations for babies are one thing, as most have a similar experience in roughly the same time period. Not so much for the preschool and early elementary years.

Just my quick thought.

Sheila
GGB 10/29/06 (33 weeks)

There is a series of books by Louise Bates Ames that I thought of after reading this. There is a separate book for each age so the titles are "Your X Year Old", where X is the age. They were written in the late '70s so they look a little dated, but I had a few "aha" moments when I read them for my daughter who is now 8. Okay, so I skipped 6 and 7 because that is when my boys were born, but I enjoyed the earlier books. Hmm, I should dig out the 8 book while I'm thinking of it...

Allison

Mom to:
Madeline 09/2001
Jack, Evan & ^Alex^ 03/02/2008 @ 26 weeks

Thanks, Allison! I'll look for these.

And, it would be fun to write such a book. Instead of doing it as a full book for a given age, it could be broken into groupings of ages with a section of the book dedicated to each age. But, there are so many biological and emotional and developmental things going on with our children. It doesn't just stop when they turn 2 or 3.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback on this!!

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

When I was raising my kids I read a lot of articles on child development. But really, child raising is all common sense. You love them, feed them, clothe them and put a roof over their heads. Give them time with you and introduce them to the world around them.

I never gave a crap about what the other kids were doing. Why compete with those kids? Why not just enjoy your own family and build strong relationships within your own family unit. I think comparing your kids to other people's kids is a waste of time.

My kids didn't do things to impress someone else. They did the things they loved and that made them happy.

mom to:
Ryan 32 The Lawyer
Jason 30 The Chief Meteorologist
Chris 30 The College Student
Tim 30 The college grad

I love hearing their versions of their childhood memories!!

I have always loved your approach to life and I really agree with you on all of the points you made.

I think that my area of interest comes from seeing all of the expectations on kids these days and then seeing all of the "maturity" in them at such a young age, but then seeing some of the immaturities and wondering about all of the developmental stuff going on with them.

Remember when you learned that babies can't move their wrists and that the ability to move the wrist is a developmental step? It's those kinds of things that I wonder about.

BTW, I also think you did wonderfully well by your kids! 'Sounds like all of you really enjoy your family.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

Thanks Cat for your comments.

I received a monthly mailing titled "The Growing Child". It kept me updated with the developmental stages of the boys. Like I said, I read everything I could get a hold of, but I didn't follow any one technique. I just used what I liked from each reading.

I think you will find that oldest children or the child who assumes that role will always appear more mature. Kids who spend more time one on one with adults also appear more mature. But that isn't always a good thing. While I was working at the elementary level, there were many young girls in the 5th grade who were physically and mentally more mature than the other girls. Sadly, those girls weren't satisfied being 10-12 years old. They started living the more grown up life and yes, a number of them were mothers by the time they were in middle school.

I believe in the let the kids be kids saying. Let them enjoy the carefree life of childhood because maturity and adult responsibilities come along quick enough. There must be rules and study time. Organized activities are good, as long as we remember that they are kids.

That physical development should be pretty much the same as what we went through. LOL

mom to:
Ryan 32 The Lawyer
Jason 30 The Chief Meteorologist
Chris 30 The College Student
Tim 30 The college grad

I love hearing their versions of their childhood memories!!

I'm going to look into the monthly you mentioned.

In my ideal world, I would have my kids learning as much as they want, and playing with all kinds of new ideas all the time; AND, being kids, kids, kids with no adult expectations.

Thanks for the reference! I appreciate it and your helpful ideas and comments!

Cat

http://www.growingchild.com/

Kelli and my GEM's - age 5 years old

I think how mature or immature we perceive our children to be depends on different things such as our perspection at the time and whether or not we have other children to compare them to. For instance, I used to teach at an early childhood campus that only had Prek-4 and Kindergarten students. I taught Kinder. At the time, it amazed me how "babyish" the PreKers were and how much more mature they became once they entered Kindergarten. Now that I'm at a PreK-5th grade campus (and I see all the students since I'm in the library), my perception of the Kindergartners has changed since I can compare them to the 1st graders, who naturally are more mature. Same goes for my own children. Every year, I think, "wow, they're so grown up now!" But next year I'll look at this year's school pictures of them, and I know I'm going to realize how young and little they really are. Know what I mean? -- Gloria


Mom to five girls: ages 11, 10, and 8/8/8

Cat~

There's a good book I remember from back in my college days called The Hurried Child.

It's basically the same philosophy that Kathy shared about parenting.

Really interesting and so true.

http://www.amazon.com/Hurried-Child-Growing-Fast-Soon/dp/0738204412

Lisa

Thanks, Lisa! This is part of what I'm looking at and thinking about. I want all kinds of opportunities for my kids, but I do not want them pressured and I really, REALLY don't want them rushed from a social perspective. I've been thinking that some of what I was reading about their development when they were two and three was so helpful in how I perceived their behavior and impacted how I reacted and responded.

Thanks for directing me to the book. I'm going to get it.


Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

Cat~

It's a pretty common sense book. I'm not sure you're going to get any major earth shattering tips on parenting.

But, it's still good for at least validating your ideas if you agree with this type of philosophy.

And sadly, the parents who SHOULD be reading it probably don't because they don't agree, KWIM?

Lisa

I figure it's because it's a crapshoot and no one knows what to expect afte that point!
Ali
Jack, turning SEVEN on the 4th of July
Abraham, Dylan and Zane, turning FIVE on July 6
35 weekers and 6 pounds a pop!

As PP's said, once kids reach a certain age, they branch off in so many different directions that it would be hard to have any thorough parenting books without being as thick as a phone book.

I would be WAY more interested in reading a compilation of amusing stories from different parents dealing with different issues, whether it be day-to-day craziness or more serious things.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com