Hi all. My wife and I are the parents of nearly 4-year old GGG triplets. They have never slept well. There was a point that we would get around 8 hours if we were lucky (maybe year 2 to 3).

Ever since then, sleep at our place has gone completely haywire. Getting them to sleep is hard enough, but getting them to stay asleep is an even bigger task. My wife and I are probably up a combined 10-15 times per night (not exaggerating). The girls just take turns getting up, coming to one side of the bed and whimpering until one of us wakes up. We will get up, carry them to their room, give them a hug and lay them back down. Eventually we just get so exhausted that we let one or two of them sleep in our bed. This helps the immediate, but we all know the difficulty that can come with that dependency.

We are at our wits end with this situation. I am working on two masters degrees and my wife is working on her bachelors. I work full time and we both have church responsibilities. We have got to figure out how to remedy this situation for all our sakes. We find ourselves (our girls and us as parents) constantly cranky with each other and it is very easy to get frustrated at the kids because of it.

We would love any input that anyone has who may have gone through or are going through a similar situation.

Gosh, I can't imagine how tired you two must be! I am cranky when I have to get up twice in one night...
Have you talked to your pediatrician about their sleeping habits? It seems weird that they won't stay asleep. Maybe there is an underlying sleeping problem. Of course it could also just be a bad habit they developed - giving in and letting them crash in your bed just reinforces it. But I know how tempting that solution is when all you want is sleep!
I assume that you have talked with your girls and told them that they shouldn't get out of bed unless they had a bad dream or feel sick (those are the exceptions in our house). Once they understand your expectations, put a reward system in place. Whoever manages to stay in their bed for the entire night will get X reward (maybe a fun outing on the weekend, definitely something they are all interested in). Then follow through. If nobody stays in bed, no fun outings. If only one manages, reward one. The following week you expect them to stay in bed more nights...
Best of luck
Petra

DS 08/02
DD 05/04
BBG 05/09 32.1 weeks

Hey, mine are only 17 months and I haven't been through what you're going through (yet), but I do have an idea. What about doing some sort of reward system for them staying in bed all night? Maybe they can earn stickers or something, and then work toward a prize. You can also incorporate one special night each week where they all get to have a sleepover in your room using sleeping bags on the floor. That way they know there are times when it's okay to go in, and times when it is not.

By age 4, they should be able to sleep just fine at night in their own room. If you try different suggestions on here and nothing works, I would definitely recommend seeing a sleep specialist. Could they all be having bad dreams, maybe? Is there something uncomfortable about their sleeping situation? What do they say when you ask them?



Crystal
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/

My girls are 4, and went through this about 2 months ago. I threatened to get out a crib and they could sleep in it like babies...worked like a charm. They certainly don't want to be *babies*!! They even call their babysitter a "big girl sitter." I also have threatened to get out the highchairs for girls who won't sit properly at the table (we have a counter-height table, and one who goofs around so much she repeatedly falls off her chair).

Threatening to get out baby equipment has worked well for us...plus it's not a punishment...merely a fact of life...if you act like a baby, you get treated like a baby.

HTH!

Alice

P.S. They know that if they have to go to the bathroom or have a REAL problem they can come to get us. We also put a digital clock in their room and they are not allowed to come into our room, talk or turn the lights on until "6 first"! LOVE IT!

GGG born 9/3/05 at 35w3d

I have 4 year old girls and I am a huge meanie about bedtime. I will not nap them so they crash at nite. They go to bed at 8p (process starts at 730). If you come to my bed I take you back to your bed (not going in ours under any circumstance...brutal on mommy but you give them 1 inch they take 10 miles with the parents bed situation). If you have a chronic offender or one who gets the process started threaten that they are going to have to sleep in the other room by herself if the chaos does not stop. The risk of punishment of being isolated usually stops the bad behavior. Also maybe they are afraid to get out of their beds..do you use nightlights? I also let them carry a lion stuff animal to the potty at night to protect them in the dark. Also I use monster spray to protect their rooms (water bottles)..and tell them it is very expensive and very hard to find (they love the whole story thing).

Good luck and hope your situation improves!

Crystal

ggg fraternal triplets born 3/4/06

I forgot that this did work for us and carseats! I had one that would unbuckle and get out of his big boy carseat while the car was moving. He went back into the big huge bulky "baby" carseat (with buckles he didn't have the finger strength for). We haven't had that problem since!
Ali
Jack, 8 1/2
Abraham, Dylan and Zane 6 1/2
and now . . . . Tobias, new last June!

We kept a carseat around when we switched to boosters...told them that anyone who unbuckled would lose their new fancy purple fairy booster and go right back into the carseat in my laundry room. We have NEVER had anyone unbuckle...at all. They DO NOT want to be back in baby carseats.

Alice

GGG born 9/3/05 at 35w3d

My kids are great sleepers, but I think that is because I am so cranky and NOT NICE in the middle of the night. I would put a baby gate in their doorway and duke it out from there. I am sure there would be no hugs or carrying in my house because I am so cranky. (I do feel a little badly about this - Dylan threw up from allergy coughing last night and stripped his bed before coming to ask me what he should do next. How bad is that?)

I do not know how you are handling all you do with that many get-ups! I am sure there are nicer parents on here that will give you some great ideas, and I sure hope they work for you. You must be exhausted!

Ali
Jack, 8 1/2
Abraham, Dylan and Zane 6 1/2
and now . . . . Tobias, new last June!

You just got a sigh of relief here. Now I know I'm not the only cranky night parent If there is one thing I can't take, it's that.

My kids always slept well...UNTIL those dag blasted big kid beds! I curse those things. It's not that they get out of them a thousand times, they are just awake off & on all thru the night. My DD seems to be the worst. We usually have gone in her room 3 times by the time it is 10 pm. She heard a train in the distance & it scares her (every night), her blankets are messed up, etc. I do have one DS who requires less sleep. He is up every morning around 6:45 or 7 am & will try to crawl in to my bed. Even then, I make him go back to his (even though we get up at 7:15...I know, mean).

I love the idea of the rewards chart! I say, try that. I know I'm going to. Good luck. Its rough...so rough. I'm just trying to remember that in about 10 years, we will have to beg, pry and scream to get them out of bed. Only 10 more years...you can do it!

Check us out at:
http://thewrighttrips.blogspot.com/

Isabel, Jasper & Jonah were born on July 1, 2006

And my twin angels in heaven ~
Olivia Layne - 2/13/05
Elijah Cain - 2/13/05

I'll tell you what: Baby #5 is in that crib until he goes off to college! I thought the transition wouldn't be a big deal since my kids climbed out of their cribs at will, but at least there was a SUGGESTION that they needed to stay put.
The good news is that it isn't that long a wait. My 8-almost-nine-year-old goes to bed at 8 and we have to drag him out of bed some mornings at 7, and the sixes just get up and play without waking us.
I say I can do anything on a full (let's say 7 hours) night sleep!
Jack, 8 1/2
Abraham, Dylan and Zane 6 1/2
and now . . . . Tobias, new last June!

If your girls have never been good sleepers then you are going to have a long road ahead of you. I HIGHLY recommend the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. People talk about it all the time on here. There will be tips for how to handle "sleep problems" even for older kids. It is going to take a lot of hard work on your part and a ton of consistancy, but you can teach them to sleep better. Is it an option to seperate them temporarily while you re-train them? You many find one or two of them catch on very quickly, while another fights longer. You don't want to disrupt the ones who are doing well. One of my girls naps alone, and occasionally has to sleep alone at night. But like the PP stated it usually only takes one or two nights and she's back to being my good little sleeper. Don't underestimate the importance of sleep for them or you! It will get worse before it gets better, but it will be SO much better when you are all sleeping! Sweet Dreams!!!

Tiffany
DS 12/20/04
GBG 2/22/07
34 weeks

I am just wondering how your situation is going...

From your post, it sounds like you have a VERY busy family. Is it possible your girls sneak in to get some time with you both? Maybe try to make a designated family time each evening and see if that can help the girls get some extra mom and dad time.

I could be off base, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to put it out there.

Laura & Don
BBB 5/05
www.ourbighappy.blogspot.com

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