I have b/g/g triplets who are starting kindergarten this fall. They have been in preschool for the last two years. One of my girls is EXTREMELY shy outside of the home, but very much the leader at home. She has not spoken to her preschool teachers the last two years, but she does speak to classmates & plays with them. Today at kindergarten screening, she would not speak, look at, hold up fingers, or write in front of last year's preschool teacher. I asked the pediatrician about possible interventions because I'm afraid she will get held back while the other two progress ahead. She happens to the brightest one and at home a few weeks ago she even wrote out 5+5=12,5+2=7, 1+1=2, 10+2=12. I know it's not that she doesn't know her stuff. Anyways, the pediatrician recommended play therapy. I'm thinking of looking into it. I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with this; or if anyone has any other suggestions? Sorry for the rambling & TIA.

-Jessie

I have no suggestions but just wanted to say i am in the same boat, my G rules at home (BBG) but at school she is shy, she does speak to her teachers also friends but infront of many kids kind of takes back (i purposely put them in separate classes)...she has always been like this ,during her early intervention days her teacher told me that this is being the fish in a small pond & fish in a big pond issue.

I always thot & still believe that if she stays with her peers like in a daycare for the day she will improve on the social skills but then thats what we cannot afford. maybe once she;s in grade1 thats when our public sch has 5 hrs school ,she might improve. sigh!!!!

have you considered a drama class for her?

Janet
G - 12/07 35 weeks
GGG-04/10 30 weeks

No, I hadn't thought of that. She does dance. I'm curious to see how she does in her first recital in May.

Do a little research on Selective Mutism. I used to work with kids with this when I was a speech therapist. In some areas a Psychologist diagnoses and treats, in other areas it's an SLP. It is an anxiety disorder that affects speech and communication in select situations, typically outside the home. Kids with selective mutism are bright but just have a lot of anxiety. To the point that they are terrified at having to speak to others. I worked with several kids and we would start by getting them comfortable with me in the treatment room, then with the door open, then in the hallway. Eventually they would have to walk around with me and we would collect stickers from the other people in the building. They knew what we were doing so were really great with the kids. The kids at first didn't have to say anything, then hi/bye, then thank you, ask for a sticker, etc. Your dtr needs to be able to talk to her teacher and the teacher needs to be supportive about giving her options on communicating and not putting her on the spot and adding more pressure. Email me if you have more questions.

Brenda

Brenda, thank you! I sent some emails to some triplet support groups and got a similar response. From everything I've read, selective mutism fits her to a tee. She wets her pants at school rather than tell the teachers and she's bossy and often defiant at home. I have spoken with Nationwide Children's Hospital here in Columbus, OH. They do not diagnose selective mutism or social anxiety. So I guess we're going to meet with a counselor from Children's and go from there. I'm really shocked that Children's doesn't diagnose for this. If you have any other suggestions or advice, I'd love to hear back. Again, thank you.

Jessie

Jessie~

My girls were really shy in pre-school, too. I hated to label them "shy", but they were quiet and would rather observe their surroundings and other children than jump on in and play.

I can totally attribute it to maturity. I'm not downplaying your concerns, but truly, for us, they had to just grow up a little.

And it didn't help that we basically stayed home for 3 years! LOL! We really didn't do classes, playdates, music classes, etc. We did swimming lessons and a handful of library story hours and that was about it.

They have gained so much confidence over the last year; academically and socially. Everything is clicking with them so it makes them even more outgoing and sure of themselves, KWIM?

Maybe this is the case with your DD?

Lisa

Jessie,
Brenda already gave you great feedback. I just wanted to throw in a personal story. One of the kids in my son's class was diagnosed with selective mutism. She didn't say a word the first three months of K, didn't interact with either kids or the teacher. She also had some accidents where she wet her pants rather than saying she needed to use the bathroom. Fastforward to 2nd grade and you won't recognize her. She is a social butterfly, performs excellently in school and is an absolute joy to be around. She is still very quiet outside of school around most adults but will answer when asked. She spent a week with us last summer and I couldn't believe what a chatterbox she was. I think for her being in a small school where everybody tends to know everybody else helped. Nobody made a big deal out of her not talking and nobody tried to force her to talk. Once she felt comfortable, she talked and is now fluent in two languages.
Best of luck
Petra
DS 08/02
DD 05/04
BBG 05/09 32.1 weeks

Hi Jessie,

We have had a ton of benefits from Pivotal Response Therapy. It is a play based therapy. If you google it, you'll see a lot of information about it.

I wouldn't say that my kids are quote on quote normal, but I wasn't going for that anyway. I like how smart they are and how quirky they are. The therapy has given them coping strategies when they are stressed out.

Also, I'm a teacher, and there are other ways she can get the information she needs without it having the feel of such a "test taking stakes are high" kind of situation. Instead, she can work some it into the center time when your daughter's stress level is down. Anyway good luck!


Vicki
http://threepeasinapod.typepad.com
Oliver, Rosie, Alexander 33 weekers born 2/10/06
Gracie 1/7/09