hi,
we are the parents to 2 year old actual triplets (still not yet 2 adjusted)...and they often wake up in the middle of the night and cry. they dont seem to be able to fall back asleep unless we intervene, but if we do go get them...often another baby will wake up and want attention, and/or the baby we get wont be able to go back to sleep so the toddler will keep one or both of us up almost all night.
my husband wants to let the babies cry it out til they fall back asleep, which can sometimes be over an hour...and we did that for awhile, but i dont think thats right. we did do sleep training with them...and then my husband continued to interpret cry it out as let them cry themselves back to sleep....i really want to hear what other do.
i think we should go in and get them if they cry for more than 20 minutes....what do you all do...and how do you deal with the total lack of sleep if you go get them? i mean its been years now....
thanks...alex (mom to 29.5 weekers)

just want to keep this active hoping some one will read it and chime in on this...thanks.
alex

Ours just turned two, so agewise we are right there as well. I must preface my answer with the statement that our three are generally very good sleepers. So if one of them does wake up and scream, there is usually something wrong. Most of the time, we give the child 5 minutes to go back to sleep (unless it's hysterical indicating night terrors or the 'I'm hurt' kind, then we go in right away). If they are still crying or screaming after 5 minutes, then we go in and check for poopy diaper/too hot or cold/have a fever etc. If they immediately calm down on our arm, they probably are ok and should go back to sleep in their bed. Yes, they will scream when being laid back down but usually for less than 5 minutes. My daughter had a phase where she just wanted to see me sit next to her crib and she would fall back asleep within two minutes.
Sometimes (rarely) I cave and take the screamer into my bed. If they do fall asleep, fine. I can't sleep with them laying next to me, so I give them maybe 20 minutes and then transfer them back to their bed.
If they continue to cry, then they are sick and need medication/water, cuddling etc. and I will probably be up for the rest of the night.
If they want to party/play, they go back to their bed and cry for as long as necessary. Mine all sleep through the others' crying. If that is an issue with yours, it might work to have a playpen in another area of the house and put the offender in there to cry it out (once you have established that there is nothing wrong with them).
And take heart. It seems that all kiddos go through these sleep regressions every few months where they will wake up a ton over a two-week period and then go back to being good sleepers. It's mostly when they are learning big new things (like talking, jumping etc.).
I hope things get better soon as sleep deprivation is horrible!
Best of luck
Petra
DS 08/02
DD 05/04
BBG 05/09 32.1 weeks

Alex,

Just to echo Petra, as ours are also about the same age, we go in only to check on one if there is an out-of-the-ordinary cry/scream. And (echoing again!), it usually only takes about five more minutes of crying after you lay him/her back down.

For us too, it's not often one wakes up crying. Our dd is the only exception because she wakes up often and will sing, and on occasion will cry but it's not a serious one. For us, it's all a matter of recognizing the 'sound' of the cry. When you think about it, there aren't a lot of things that can really go wrong in a bed at this age, (provided they aren't climbing out of the beds yet). That is of course if they aren't already sick or have an injury. At this age, nightmares aren't common yet so it isn't likely to be an issue.

It sounds as if your kiddos have gotten into a routine of getting extra attention, and will require a cold turkey (and gut-wrenching) CIO period to get through it. Just a guess though, based on what you've shared.

Really hope it gets better soon, especially in getting more sleep. (A small bit of rolled up tissue paper that is moistened makes a great earplug!)

Rick

BBG - 2 years and counting

thanks for both your responses. i do think one of our babies has gotten very demanding, but its such a tough call, if we take him to our bed he usually sleeps well and easily, without all the crying. but he also does have a bad temper, and he may need to learn to deal with his own issues a bit. we are trying to hold back from going in unless we are worried...i guess my fear is, what if he thinks we wont come when he needs us...is that just paranoia?
thanks again.
best, alex