My GGGs are in Kindergarten and we are new to playdates. They have had only 2 playdates in the past that were with preschool classmates (all 3 of my girls were invited), all other playdates were just playing with my friends' kids when we got together. I think in preschool, people were hestitant to invite all 3 and not sure if it was ok to invite only 1. Because our playroom had been destroyed by a flooded basement I never really invtited anyone over here either. So it was my fault too for not initiating play dates. Also they never had too much desire for "outside" friends. THey were their own little group.
Anyway, now I would like to invite some kids over. I thought it might be good to have each one ask a friend (for the same day) and I would ask the moms to stay the first time so we could get to know each other. I know I wouldn't want to drop them off at someone's home when I don't really know the family, so they probably feel the same way. So, 2 of the girls each picked the girl who sits near them at school. THe other girl wants to invite a boy. I asked if she thought he would be okay with being the only boy with 5 girls, and she decided maybe it would be good to ask a second boy also that she likes. Now that's 7 kids. I thought asking 3 was good so they would all have someone to interact with; no fighting for the guest's attention. But I don't know about the dynamics of 7 kids. And what if the 2 boys start doing more "boyish" stuff like pretending to be superheroes or something and my DD who invited them(and really doesn't like those "boyish" games) feels left out? Would it be better to have a group of 6 and risk the boy feeling funny? or have a group of 7 and risk my DD feeling left out? I really don't have the ability to have individual playdates because what would I do with the other 2 kids? I figured when the kids we invite reciprocate, they can just have the one girl who invited them. Would that work? I am probably way over-analyzing this, but want so badly for them to finally have friends. Thanks for your advice!

Ann Marie

Mommy to Anna Lee, Julia Rose, Grace Mara
Born 7/6/03 @ 27 weeks, 6 days

Whoa.. That's not a playdate - that's a party! I'd invite one person at a time. Then you'll all have a better chance of really interacting with that child and getting to know him or her, and the mom or dad too.

good luck and have fun.

Nancy

mom to beautiful BBG triplets, born February 2002 at 33 wks, 4 days

><((((º> ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º> ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>
¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º> ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>

THe problem with that is that the invited child will no doubt end up playing with the one girl who is more social and mature while the other 2 less mature, less social girls play something else. It always seems to happen when we are with just one other child. THe best playdates they ever had were with my friend who also has GGG triplets the same age. Each had a playmate and sometimes they all did the same activity, sometimes they paired off and did different things. That's why I want to invite 3 kids. Doesn't anyone else do that? Or do most of you invite only one child? Even my sister who has 2 singleton girls 2 years apart invites playdates for both girls the same day, to keep everyone happy and busy. of course that adds up to only 4 kids, not 6....

Ann Marie

Mommy to Anna Lee, Julia Rose, Grace Mara
Born 7/6/03 @ 27 weeks, 6 days

I invite three friends for my kids and it's sorta like a party. This summer I picked our pool to meet so they didn't tear up the house with all those little ppl around my house. Sometimes the third friend cannot attend but someone will bring a sibling and one of my girls w/o a friend will play with them. Age and gender has not been an issue but ideally it's nice when each daughter has their special friend to play with.

My biggest issue I notice when a child who is not use to allowing a sibling to join in the game. We have a rule their sis can join in. Girls are possessive w/their friends I see it as my job to teach them as a group the more the merrier. I've been pretty blessed with kids who allow new people into their circle.

www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com/How_To_Homeschool/tosbrochure.pdf
*†¯`·.,*† ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.->*† .¸¸.·*†(¯`·.¸*†¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.->*†
I BELIEVE in miracles - g/g/g- June 2002
Married my best friend
Financial Peace is possible www.daveramsey.com
http://i151.photo

I have found that it's best to find other multiples to playdate with. That way they better understand the dynamic. I have seen singleton be somewhat everwhelmed when they start to play with one of my kids and end up playing with all 3.
It's like one makes a friend (at a playground or wherever) and the others just assume they can be friends with the person too. Sometimes I even see them trolling for new friends rather than playing with each other.

I haven't had too many playdates either because I'm not sure what to do with the kids who don't have a friend come over. Hopefully those with older kids will be able to share some good advice soon.

Andi
g/b/g
6 yo triplets in kindy

individual playdates have worked alright for us. if someone has a playdate, they get use of the playroom. I bring up some special 'playdate only' toys from the basement for the other two and they know they are to play in the living room. at some point, they all end up together outside or at lunch, but at least for the first hour or so, it is a true one on one playdate.

Mary

born 12/12/04 33w2d

>individual playdates have worked alright for us. if someone
>has a playdate, they get use of the playroom. I bring up
>some special 'playdate only' toys from the basement for the
>other two and they know they are to play in the living room.
>at some point, they all end up together outside or at lunch,
>but at least for the first hour or so, it is a true one on one
>playdate.


What a great idea Mary. Two questions. How do you enforce that the siblings let the daters alone? What do you do if it's a mutual friend? Also do you rotate who gets to have playdates or just let them occur naturally? I have one very social girl who seems to set up all the playdates.

Andi
6 yr olds in kindy
g/b/g

Hi,
Playdates are so hard for us. My BGB are in first grade and I've tried having them invite a friend each which was a party and someone allways got left out, too stressful. Now I let only one friend come over, they all play much better and they pretty much like each other friends. My boys play with the girls and my DD plays with the boys. The only problem that I have is that the playdates are never fare enough. One of my DS gets invited more then my other DS and DD. It's allways something plus not to be a grouch but they take up so much time that when they are over I feel like I'm in a rush to catch up.
My DH says don't do them, we have enough 2 do and that they play and socialize in school. But then I feel like the bad Mom and that they should be doing everything that every one else is doing. I hope I helped. I've come to realize that it's allways something

Donna Mom to Tyler, Samantha, Zackary and Honey Bear our English Mastiff