My trio has made lots of friends in kindergarten and I am very pleased that they have adjusted well especially since I never sent them to preschool.

They have a special friend who rides the same bus and sits at their table in class. They said this girl has repeatedly invited them to a sleepover at her house. I told my trio they are a little too young for sleepovers and that I would have to meet this girl's parents first before allowing them to have a sleepover there. My son said he already told the girl what I said.

Do kids have sleepovers this young nowadays? Am I being overprotective in wanting to meet the parents first before allowing my kids to sleepover at a friend's house?

Thanks for your input.

Div

Div~

I think it's awesome they've made so many great friends. My girls are in Kindergarten, too. (I think I remember reading that we're in the same town.)

Personally. I think sleepovers at 5 years old are too young. It may sound fun, but there's something about the whole idea that makes me think it's too close for comfort and somewhat of a disruption in their routine.

Playdates. The zoo. Heck, even germy Chuck E. Cheese, I could handle.

My sister has an 8 year old and doesn't love sleepovers either. So, it's not just an age issue, KWIM?

I think you'd really have to be close with the family and be on the same page with a lot of parenting techniques. At least I would want to be. I would have to cultivate some major trust before giving the thumbs up.

You never know what "uncle" would be coming over to visit or how lax the parents are with supervision. You just don't know.

I sound overboard with my overprotectiveness and it's sad, but true.

Lisa

Thanks Lisa,

I'm glad I am not the only one who thinks 5 years old is too young for sleepovers. I think no matter what age they are, I would like to get to know the family before letting them spend the night at someone else's house.

I think we do live in the same town. We live in Monclova Township. It's a nice area but I am still somewhat paranoid. I walk them to the bus stop and see them get into the bus. I wait for them at the bus stop and walk them home. I'll probably continue to do this for a long long time. When I hear about Jaycee Dugard and Shawn Horbeck, both kidnapped at age 11 by sex offenders from the bus stops, it really makes me overprotective.

Div

Div~

We're in Monclova, too! I can't remember where I read that you were in my area, but I thought you were.

Yeah. I don't want to be a downer or an uncool Mom, but I think I'm going to stick to my guns on this one and win this battle when it comes into my life.

And I think back to my sleepovers. OMG! I hated them! I was uncomfortable. I wanted my own bed. Parents yelled at us to be quiet. LOL! Sometimes, they were fun, but I was in 8th grade not 5 years old.

Any area, no matter how lovely the homes are is not immune to weirdos.

I just got a notice in my mailbox last week telling us to be on the lookout for two fat ladies posing as housecleaners trying to break into homes. In broad daylight! Yet another thing to worry about and I have to be honest. We're outside playing every minute and sometimes I dart in the house to do a load of laundry or whatever. Not anymore. Even in our quiet cul-de-sac. Trust no one.

Do a search on sex offenders in our area; it looks pretty good, thankfully.

Lisa

Hillyt mom to
Ian 11
Ella, Holly, Jilly 6
Hadley 2

Around here the thing is fake sleepovers or lateovers. Kids come over, bring sleeping bags, have the popcorn, movies, ect, and their parents pick them up "late" like 9-10. That way they sleep in their own beds, wake up at home, and moms don't have the middle of the night fears of what is going on with their kids.

I am only okay with any of my kids staying over with parents I know. Also, I find little kids usually have more trouble with sleepovers than they are worth.
HTH

My kids didn't do sleepovers until age 8.
Many of their friends did them as young as 3 (with family friends) others weren't allowed until 13.

While in kindergarden, when the offers really started coming, we did 1/2 sleepovers.
They could invite a friend over around 5p for dinner. They played games etc. until around 8p. Then everyone got into jammies, we made popcorn and put in a movie. By 10p the friend's parent came to pick them up for sleeping in their own bed.

It allowed for all the same fun without nervous children and hurt feelings at 2am.

Oy vey! Sleepovers?? For kindergarten?

That could just about get me to sign on the dotted line for home-schooling.

I like the idea of having a "movie night," but just because folks seem to be nice doesn't mean that one of the parents doesn't enjoy spending time with little girls/boys/monkeys/cats... you know. I know that there are a number of prominent stars and beauty queens who have come out of the closet about their "wonderful, highly respected" family members who were busily molesting them from the time they were four.

Sleepovers were great fun when we were in the 8th grade. That's another 9 years away.

And, no. I don't think you're being over-protective. Just weighing the potential harm with the potential benefit, I'm not seeing much benefit and way too much possible harm. Stand your ground.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

We've been invited to a few sleepovers, but we are not allowing them. We don't know any of these parents well enough to leave our children there over night. We have let them have "stay lates" which allow them to hang out till after normal bedtime, but then they come home to sleep (usually between 9-10 pm). It's a nice alternative to spending the night IMHO.

Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

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My kids are close to age 8 and we don't do them. My DD has been invited by a classmate many times. I know the mom, but I just can't do it. I like the family and like them. But my gut says no they are just too young. I like my kids in their own beds. Call me over protective, I don't care. In my mind there is a child molester around every corner. I just don't trust people.

Just read in the paper a few months ago about a dad that planned a sleepoever, and his DD was not even home she was at her mothers house. The parents of the little girl dropped her off for the sleepover not knowing. He molested her all night long!!! Makes me sick! I think she was 8!


Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

Oh, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...!!!

I just read this upon returning from court where a case was proceeding -- dad and mom had lived together from time HER daughter was 11. She says that he took a liking to her daughter and the daughter had an abortion of his baby when she was barely 16. Since then, he left mom for her daughter. Now he was trying to get custody of THEIR daughter who is now 16 -- a child he has not seen for more than 4 years.

Can we say, "Gag...?"

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

There is a good chance the child came up with this idea all on their own and the mother has not been consulted at all.

There is no way I would ever let my kids sleepover at this point. Never.

When I was in second grade, I slept over at this little girl's house who was in my class. First time away from my family. She wanted to lay in bed and touch me DOWN THERE, which totally freaked me out. I was like, "Uh NO! That's gross!"

Turns out, years later, I discovered she was like that because her father was molesting her. My mother threw me to the lions, letting me stay there without knowing the family, and I was so lucky that creep didn't come into the room that night. It makes me a little queasy just thinking about it.

So I vote NO WAY.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you everybody for your input. I really appreciate it. That's it, I am standing firm ~ no sleepovers!

Div

I was thinking the same thing about the child coming up with it on her own. We get a lot of kids coming up with invites without consulting adults around here.

I am not big on just letting the kids go over and spend the night. We don't invite kids to spend the night because we don't want the reciprocal invitation. But we did start troop overnights at age 6. To make everyone more comfortable we follow scout rules even when it isn't a scout function. There has to be at least one non related adult spending the night also. I have 3 core parents that always volunteer to stay. Not all at the same time but usually 2 of them. We are having a backyard campout tomorrow night with 13 girls ages 6-9.

Oh when I went to my originally Girl Scout training session and they were telling us about the sleepover rule. It originated because a leader had her troop sleeping over, young teens. For some reason she decided she needed to go to the store late in the evening. She left the girls home with her husband who was drinking. He lined the girls up and felt each one of them up describing the size of their breasts as fruit. Can you imagine! Not only having it happen to you but being his daughter and having to go to school on Monday.

So I don't want to deprive my kids from the experience of sleepovers and neither to the other parents in my troop. But we like the scout sleepover regs. Makes us all more comfortable and also protects DH and I having other adults here as witnesses. So far we have always been the host.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

WTF Tasha?? REALLY?? OMy!!!

5 yrs old is too young unless it is with family or dear family friend. The standing rule in our household is no sleepovers EVER! Nope, no way, sorry. I have certain rules about tv content, etc. that I can't expect other parents abide by. Also, I could NEVER forgive myself for putting my kid(s) in a situation like the one Tasha described.

Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005

My kids started getting invites in K but we did not allow sleepovers until just this past school year. Still at age 9, I can see that 2 of mine are not really ready. My more mellow son does just fine. My other DS is much more sensitive to lack of sleep and poor nutrition which goes hand-in-hand with a birthday slumber party. He was such a cranky bear the next day so he's been told he has to wait a bit longer. DD can't even last when they all want to sleep in the family room or in one of the boys' rooms, she tries but after a bit she decides she needs her bed. She tried a sleepover at the neighbors this past year but I had to go and get her at 10:00 that night. She needs her space and her bed to sleep.
I also worry about the kids being safe so it is only families that we are already close friends with. Still I have told my kids many times that if they are ever uncomfortable for ANY reason at all at ANY time, and don't want to tell the parent why they want to go home, they can tell the parent that they are feeling sick and want to call me to come get them.

Shell~
B/B/G 1/7/2000

We do not allow sleepovers - ever (at this point in our parenting choices)


Here is a terrible fact:

"Today, at least two out of every ten little girls and at least one out of every ten little boys are victims of a sexual abuser." per a Child Molestation Research & Prevention organization.



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