I knew this would happen eventually, but I did not expect it this soon. The boys just started kindergarten and so far the birthday party invitations have gone to the entire class. However, they have lunch and recess with the other K classes and are making different friends. One child brought home an invitation (from a child in a different class) and the other two did not receive one. What is the proper protocol? I am thinking that I will bring that child to the party and plan something special for the other two with Daddy or Grandpa?? Your advice is greatly apprecitated.
Karen
Mom to my 3 sons
New Year's Day 2004 34 wks

I think that is exactly what you should do.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

That is what we did. Now that the kids are older they don't have to have something special to do while the one goes to the b-day party, they know their turn will come soon enough.
I did have one mom last year that actually called before the b-day party telling me she did not know they were triplets and wanted to invite the other two. DH and I talked it over and the boy really was friends with just one DS so we just sent the one. The other two took it very well. I think our DD was actually relieved to hear she wasn't going to be sent to a boy's b-day party.
The hardest one was a boy that knows both of our boys from church. He could only invite 3 friends to Chucky Cheese and only one DS was invited. When I tried to explain it to the other DS, he was so hurt, "but I'm his friend too." They were 6 at the time.

Shell~
B/B/G 1/7/2000

At 8, my kids think nothing about not getting invited to a party that their sibling was. For several years my kids have been invited individually to parties. It has provided lots of great learning opportunities.

Lisa
Mom to Aidan, Christian, and Rachel (10.03.01 @ 36wks)

I had the issue last year and I did exactly what you thought of. I think it made me a lot more sad than it did my other two boys!

I've always tried to downplay it as much as possible. If you want to do something with the other kids, that is great, but this is going to happen again and again with parties, and playdates, and other special stuff. I would be careful about setting expectations too high for the other kids that were not invited. It could also backfire for you concerning the kid that got invited to the party. I know that my kids were very apprehensive with the first parties that they were invited to alone. It was scary for them to go without their brothers, but I thought it was a really good experience for them and really encouraged them. If they got home and found out that their brothers did extra fun things while they were gone, it would have not been good. In the past, we have done Happy Meals, or the local park with my other kids. That way, they have been pretty happy and occupied and the one that went to the party did not feel like he missed out on something extra special at home.

Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com

The invitee goes to the party and the others do whatever they would normally do on that day. I agree with not setting expectations too high. It's a mistake IMO to try to even things out. Get them in that mindset now because it will happen more and more as they get older. My kids think nothing of it - although there was a little envy last year when one kid got invited to all the "cool" places. He was excited tot ell them all about it when he got home and they were excited to hear - just one comment of "I wish I could go there, he gets to go to all the good places" and we carried on with our lives.

Kari S.

Mom to BBB 21, 18, 14
BBG 9/25/01