One of my 8 year olds has a girl that sits next to him in class. I met her once back in Oct. when I had lunch at the school. She is a very cute girl. Sometime in Nov., my son brought her phone number home and said that this little girl "C" wanted him to call her. I kept putting him off, telling him he didn't need to call her, etc. Every day he would tell me that she was going to be mad if he didn't call her, but I figured it was just a dramatic kid thing and didn't want him bothering her. I guess he gave her our number because she started calling our house. At first it was cute and after she called a few times, I did let him call her 2-3 times. Since Mid Dec., she calls a lot . If we don't pick up, she will call right back over and over. We are out at activites a lot. Most of the time, I just let the answering mahine get it even if we are home because she calls so often. Yesterday, we didn't get home until almost 5 due to after school OT my son has. She showed up 7 times on our caller ID and had left 3 messages. I don't think her Mom pays any attention if she is using the phone or not. A few weeks ago, they started asking to go to one another's house. I have never even spoken to this girl's mom and have no idea who she is, so I kept putting my son off. Plus, we have lots of activites and are busy most nights. My son asked me 2 weeks ago if "C" could come over after school one day, so I said she could on Thursday since we had no activites on that day if her Mom said it was okay. I figured I would either hear from her Mom or it would just never happen. Imagine my surprise on Thursday when her Mom calls to tell me she can't find my house. She dropped her daughter off at our house and came in for a few moments to ask when she should pick her up because she had older daughters to drop off and pick up for various things. This was the first time the woman had ever even spoken to me. I told her I was going to have dinner with friends at 7:00 and she said "Oh, I will be back before then." She also mentioned how she wasn't sure if she should be worried because her daughter talked about my son all the time, but she figured she was getting it from her older sisters.

The litte girl gets along okay with my two older boys at our house. She is pretty rude to my 5 year old daughters, who were very excited to have her here. I heard her several times while they were playing Wii tell them they talked too much and were annoying. This little girl is polite enough, but seems older than her years, probably from having teenage sisters. Her Mom finally calls at 6:45 and asks if "C" has worn out her welcome. (She has been at our home for 3 hours on a school night at this time.) I mention again that I am going someplace at 7:00 and she says she is on her way now. She also asks if I fed "C". Now, I did offer her a snack when she first arrived, which she refused, but since I was going out, my DH was planning on feeding the kids leftovers and we were having a later dinner for us. I felt like she was annoyed I hadn't fed "C", but I am unsure. She sent one of her older daughters to the door to pick "C" up. That was last Thursday.

My son likes "C" and will talk to her some when she calls, but he has gotten distracted and put the phone down on her a few times and only asks to call her every once in awhile. At school, he still mostly plays with some other boys. He says she is his girlfriend, but only because she has told him she is. They have been having a lot of indoor recess with the cold/rainy weather. Several of the boys bring Bakugans and they "battle". My son has been keeping his in his backpack to have on indoor recess days. On Monday, he comes out of the building very sad and tells me he dropped his Bakugans out of his backpack when they were leaving and he has lost one. He said the teacher said she would look before the janitors came. This son isn't the most organized and I warned him about taking those to school, so I tell him I am sorry, but he took a risk taking them to school. The teacher didn't find it after school, but I did figure some kid saw it on the ground and took it home, which is a live and learn lesson.

Fast forward to today. He mentions on our way to OT after school that "C" played Bakugan today for the first time and that he beat her because she only has 1 Bakugan. Amazingly enough, the Bakugan she has is the same one he lost 2 days ago and she got it weeks ago for Christmas, but she is just now bringing it to school to play with everyone else. He told me with no suspicion whatsoever. He really just though it was neat that she had the same Bakugan. I realize this story could be true and I could care less about a $5 Bakugan and he really should learn a lesson about taking his stuff to school, but this is bugging the crap out of me. Hours later, I did finally say to him "Isn't is weird that "C" has the same Bakugan you lost?" After I said it the light went on and he got suspicious. Now, I regret saying anything and I have further spoken to him and told him not to accuse her of anything as she really could have gotten it for Christmas, but that he just needs to be more careful with his stuff. The funny thing is she could have asked him for a Bakugan and he would have given her one. He is very generous with his stuff and has already given her a few things he has gotten from the toy box at his OT.

This little boy of mine has zero social skills. He is very, very friendly and that gets him many friends, but he notices no social norms and cues. I am always pointing them out to him and it is some of the things we are working on. I know I should have kept my mouth shut and I didn't want him to confront her. A part of me wanted to let him stay innocent and only believe the best of people, but it seems like some of these kids are light years ahead of him. I wish this little girl would move onto another little boy.

I am setting up and running the V-day party for his class. I am thinking about asking the teacher to move them around to see if her obsession can lessen. They have been in trouble for talking some, so maybe she would be open to it.

Cindy
Paul and Andrew
Kristen, Rachel and Michael

Some of the things you mention would make me want to do anything BUT encourage that friendship. When my kids were in 2nd grade one of the girls in my son's class started writing notes to my son. It went on for awhile and I finally had to notify the teacher when one of her notes really crossed the line. She mentioned them "making love." I couldn't believe the content in that note! The teacher put a stop to it in the classroom and had a talk with the girl's parents. I was a bit concerned over how this girl knew enough to write what she did but the teacher thought she probably learned it from her teen siblings. So that is my word of caution about obsessive little girls who have older siblings.
Maybe you could talk to your son about what a good friend is. Ask him how he feels about himself when he is around her vs. another good friend. If she is bossy with him, he may say he likes her because he feels he has to. Some kids who are really sweet have a hard time expressing their real feelings about someone because they want to be nice. If he is saying he has to call her because she will be mad if he doesn't, that is not what good friends do. Friends don't push themselves onto people or threaten to get mad if you don't do what they want.
If it were me, I would also tell my son that he is too young to have a "girlfriend," and that playing together at school is ok, but all the phone calls have to stop (esp on school nights.) Maybe your son could tell her that he can only socialize on the phone on weekends. Or you could just say that at their age, anything they want to talk about can wait until they are in school.
Good luck with this~

Shell~
B/B/G 1/7/2000

I sent the teacher an email as I think my son is determined to ask her if she has his Bakugan. I also asked her to separate them in calss.

I really thought this would blow over after a couple of weeks. I have mentioned to him he is too young for a girlfriend. He says he knows and that she is a just a "girl" and a "friend", but I don't think she sees it that way.

This son has always attracted little girls. In preschool and Jr. K, he 2 little girls drawing him pictures all the time, but it was cute and that was as far as it went. In K and 1st, there was a little girl who lived 2 doors down, who was also in his class both years. She came down to play a lot. In the beginning, she was game to play boy stuff with him and as long as she did what interested him, they played together. In 1st grade, she came less and when she did, she might do one or two things with him, but then she would play with my younger girls more when she came doing girly things, but he still thought of her as his friend. She never called our house. I guess I thought this was going to go that route too and be some "friendship" at school, but no more as they didn't have a lot in common.

This girl wasn't like any of his other little friends who happened to be girls when she came over. She was polite to me, but bossy in general, seemed to be mature beyond her years. I didn't hear anything inappropriate being said, but she had a confidence I was surprised to see an 8 year old have in a new place around strangers. I felt like I had a DIL already.

Yes, this friendship is shut down as far as I am concerned.

Cindy
Paul and Andrew
Kristen, Rachel and Michael