Well, it has finally happened. I have found the nut that I cannot crack. I am up the creek without the proverbial paddle. I am ready to throw in the towel and concede defeat. Why???

Because. I am preparing to flunk kindergarten.

Not the kids. Me.

Yes, we are continuing to learn how to write the alphabet. However, at this point in time we are also receiving two to three cut and paste projects to be completed during the week; three to four math sheets to be completed during the week; a calendar of activities for the month to be completed with the parent -- at least three per week; sight reading words that are supposed to be read to us (x2, thank you), and you have to initial that you've had these read to you daily. On top of this, I am supposed to be reading to the kids nightly -- not them reading to me, me reading to them.

All of this "stuff" feels like busy work and it prevents me from having the kids read to me; prevents us from choosing our own activities to do together -- we much prefer sewing doll clothes to many of the options; and, places us under extreme stress during the evenings.

I find that I'm resenting all of this. My children are in ballet and Little League -- which is leading to a busy enough schedule. We are in church on Sundays and I teach the Sunday school class. We enjoy taking the dog for a walk and having picnics together. But, by the time I've gotten home from work, we cannot do anything other than start cranking to complete all of these papers.

There are a lot of wonderful things that my kids are learning this year, but I'm very frustrated and feel thoroughly imposed upon -- as though the school powers that be have infiltrated my home and are dictating how we will spend our time together once they are back with me.

Anyone else feel this way?

Oh, and Megan, it is a no brainer -- leave the kids in pre-school another year. You can avoid for one final year the mass hysteria of competitive parents using the fruit of their looms to prove their mettle in the world.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

Ha, ha, ha! Welcome to the world of school. I remember those kindergarten/first grade days well. I had to initial THREE behavior calendars, sign THREE reading logs, and sign THREE homework folders in kindergarten. Then in first grade when all three were in different classes, I had just as many things to sign, except each teacher had different things to sign. So I had to keep track of who needed which thing signed. Yes, homework is busy work, and yes, it has always been a pain for us. I hate to tell you, but it gets worse. My three are in sixth grade now, and there is a LOT of homework. We have to squeeze it in before or after church, piano lessons, after school band rehearsals, community theater rehearsal, and baseball practice (just to name what I can list off the top of my head). MOST of the homework I feel is useless, but it's just one of those things we have to do. It stinks.

LCN
21 year old college senior
14 year old bbg triplets--teenagers!

>Oh, and Megan, it is a no brainer -- leave the kids in
>pre-school another year. You can avoid for one final year the
>mass hysteria of competitive parents using the fruit of their
>looms to prove their mettle in the world.
>

Seriously as soon as I read this my first thought was "oh goodness I made the right decision!". Yikes!

I have to think that they are sending all this stuff for the parents who wouldn't otherwise spend time with their kids, you know? That is really frustrating.

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

You do realize there is always going to be three of everything to sign. and were you not just complaining that the school was not challenging them enough. So which is it.

It really does not take us that long to do our homework and we have writing every day, math sheet at least three days a week, site words daily, and each of them have to read to me every day.

we do a lot of activities as well and It really is not that difficult. Use your day when they are in school to get organized, the house clean and get a routine for doing homework etc and you will be fine.

BBG Triplets Born March 31, 2004
31 weeks three days
Douglas
Kalie and
John Michael

LOL Rosemarie....talk to me in a couple of years when your kids are in 2nd or 3rd Grade or if you ever get a job. It IS difficult. Not everyone has the luxury of staying home preparing their house for when the kids get home from school! LOL


Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

Oh Cat it gets worse!!! I HATE....I mean it HATE homework!!! To me MOST of it is busy work. I don't understand why they have to come home after 7 hours in school, working hard only to do another hour sometimes MORE of homework. It's crap! LOL My kids too are in extra curricular activities and on those nights it's just a nightmare! Kindergarten homework was a BREEZE compared to what we have in 2nd Grade. I am scared for next year and the years after! lol Wait till you get those stoopid reading logs they have to fill out each night! I swear it's like torture to one of my kids who HATES to write! UGH...then the nightly journals, spelling, math worksheets..it's all overwhelming to me and to them most nights. It seems easy enough if you have one kid and no activities and do not have to make dinner. But add all that in not to mention tired hungry burnt out from the day kids and it's just enough to make me drink each night!

Get used to it...it only gets worse! Btw...at the beginning of the year this year I complained about the work load and they did adjust it. Don't get me wrong I love having each of my kids read to me each night. But throw in those dumb reading logs and UGH. I don't mind a "little" bit of homework as review. But most of it is just busy work and totally unnecessary.

Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

I don't work, so I haven't found the homework overwhelming yet. We crank through ALL the worksheets on the first day so we don't have to do them every day. Do you get a homework package at the beginning of the week? Just do it all at once. Then I only have the reading to do every day. I would say it takes about 15 minutes to do all the worksheet homework in one sitting. Do all the cut and paste ones at once too. If they are giving you all this stuff separately, ask for it in one chunk.

If I rushed home from work, made dinner, THEN had to do homework, I think I would want to have an anuerysm.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Oh, I feel your pain! Homework bites! I have two sixth graders and the homework they get right now takes up a ton of their/our evenings! It's unbelievable! My stomach actually turns when they bring home a science project. Even the stuff my fourth grader, who is also in special ed, brings home. Good grief!

And to the pp who said that it wasn't that time consuming for their family, just WAIT, your kids are little yet! Keep in mind that Cat is an attorney with her own practice. A job in which she probably has to devote at least 60 hours per week to and she is raising her kiddos on her own!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

But her kids aren't in sixth grade. They are in kindergarten. Yes, we all know "what's coming", but she ain't there yet, right? I know my kids are way advanced, too, and we just churn and burn those baby worksheets right now. Work smarter, Cat!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

and if her kids are so advanced it should not take that long to do the work.

BBG Triplets Born March 31, 2004
31 weeks three days
Douglas
Kalie and
John Michael

Nope. You don't "all know what's coming". Muhahaha! You cannot even imagine until you get there...I LOL at that statement. I gotta share that one with dh! He'll find it even more hilarious now that he's taken his vicodin---wisdom teeth yanked a few hours ago.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Well, my sister's kids are the same age as yours and she works a full time job and a full time internet job and I've yet to hear her bitch about homework because she taught her kids how to be self sufficient and they have long since been doing their own homework on their own. I would hope that my kids are capable of managing their own homework by 6th grade, but I guess we'll see!!!! I mean, I don't plan on going to work with them either someday, but who knows? Maybe I will!!!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Well, let's give your sister a cookie! What an amazing woman!

A few things that my kids take home are parent/child activities to encourage parental involvement. And yes, a sixth grader is perfectly capable of managing homework by themselves...BUT they do ask questions. I would certainly hope that a parent would be 100% available to their child when a question does arise. And trust me, the older they get, the more questions they have.

Like I said, just WAIT! hehehe! Until you've been there you really don't have a clue! And it's probably better that way...ignorance is bliss when it comes to future kid issues.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Yes, her kids are amazing too. Honor roll students. One already has middle schools competing to have her in their school. Which is insane to me because that's not how it worked when I went to school.

But back to Cat. We are talking kindergarten here. It really shouldn't be that difficult, Cat. If your kids aleady know the sight words, why are you wasting time going over them? Why don't you let your kids read to YOU, even though you are supposed to read to them? That's what I do, they fill out their own logs, then I read to them in my own time frame when I feel like it.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

I have to admit I don't get the whole homework problem. Homework is for the kids, not for me. My kids come home and do their homework - what they didn't do on the bus ride home, that is. If they need help, they ask, and we help them. They don't usually ask for help. If I think about it, I look it over when they're done, but because I am busy I don't usually think to ask to look. I assume they do it OK because they get decent grades and the teachers haven't asked for a conference.

The hardest part was the reading aloud. I confess I fudged on their sheets. They read all the time, and I just can't sit for 90 minutes every night listening to them read aloud. Bad Mommy. But this year they haven't had those, thank goodness. They do AR instead, which I loathe, but at least it involves them taking responsibility for their own reading.

One thing we do is limit their activities, so we don't have a lot of extra stuff to do. But it just hasn't been the big monster I hear others complain about. I have heard other parents in their classes complain, so it's not that our schools go easy on them... :/

FTR my triplets are in 2nd grade (in separate classes) and my others are in 6th, 10th and freshman in college.

Kari S.

Mom to BBB 21, 18, 14
BBG 9/25/01

I agree, homework is for the kids, not the parents. However, it does take up a lot of our family time and evenings. That's the frustrating part. Especially since our evening times are so short. The triplets are in bed by 8:30 or 9:00. Dh and I retire around the same time because we are both up by 4:30am. His start time for work and that's the only time that I can squeeze in a workout.

My kids usually have a TON of homework. My 6th graders are on the bus for about 45 minutes and my sophmore has about an hour ride. The last one is home by about 4:30. There is NO WAY they would be able to finish their homework in 45 minutes to an hour. In fact, I discourage homework on the bus. As far as I am concerned that time on the bus gives them a chance to unwind, socialize with friends and a gives them a break before homework.

I guess my point is that everyones family dynamics are very different and homework/school does take up a lot of time. It also all depends on school standards and what they like to see with parental involvement. I personally enjoy some of the family activities that my 6th graders bring home---especially the exercise that involves discussing current events! It's interesting to be able to listen to their personal views and perceptions of what is going on in the world today! The discussions that we get into get them thinking "outside of the box", such as different religious beliefs and different cultures. My kids are turning into very diverse little creatures. Something that will help them in the adult world, especially college. A childs education goes way beyond the academic aspect....something that our school district places emphasis on. The formation of a well-rounded individual and that involves parental involvement. Unfortunately, a lot of school districts haven't gotten around to developing that philosphy.

Sorry to have gotten way off topic and to have written a novel, but I have been studying all day and needed a break. I've also had way too much caffeine!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

"I discourage homework on the bus."

Well, no wonder it eats into your family time then. Your kids are spending 1.5 to 2 hours a day on a bus, then you aren't LETTING them do their homework if they can get it done? So if they took the initiative to get it done without you, would you be angry? Sounds like a control issue to me. I would not only encourage them to do it on the bus if the chose to, but also during downtime in the classroom when they have completed their work. Teaching good time management skills goes a LONG way in college.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Re-read my post. 45 min to an hour on the bus. No downtime in the classroom--they switch classrooms between subjects. Only time to do homework is at HOME. Um, that IS why they call it "home"work...not "bus"work. Besides, I have one that would be puking her toes out---motion sickness.

Reading a book on the bus, sure! Trying to pound out a trigonometry problem is probably not a good idea while sitting on a bus with about 25 or so screaming kids. Doing homework on the bus JUST to get it DONE?! Ya. Right. Ha! It is to laugh!

Come talk to me in about 10 years when you've had more parenting experience under your belt. Yours are like, what, 5 or 6 or something. Easy-peasy. Enjoy this age...it's a piece of cake.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

I have to tell you that my sister and I have gotten a kick out of you in this thread. You remind us of our friend Darcy who is still doing her son's homework for him in college. I guess time will tell, won't it?????!!!!!! I might not be able to cut the umbilical cord either.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Never said that I did my homework for my kids. I think your dilusional. Did you accidentally drink something from a plastic bottle...did it have red dye in it too? Too many wheat products this week maybe?

And, yes. I agree, this thread is entertaining.....Love it when people feel they are experts in an area that they have absolutely NO experience in.

Face it. I win. You lose I'm more experienced. I'm better.
Here's to 10 years from now! LOLOLOL!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

I gotta say this pissing match is definitely entertaining! Thanks ladies!


Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

Your welcome Terri!
It HAS been fun!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Yes, you are giving us less experienced mothers notes on what NOT to do!!!

"I must be available 100 percent of the time to answer ANY question my child has!"

Good luck with that one! At what point will your kids have to use their BRAINS to figure stuff out on their own? Oh, that's right. NEVER!!! Do you let them do ANYTHING without you?

But keep posting, Gina. I am keeping notes on helicopter parenting.

Hover. Hover. Hover. Hover. I can hear your blades whirling.

We had another triplet mom at dinner last week who has hired a retired teacher to sit with her kids four days a week to do their homework with them for 2 hours a day. She's the same one that told us we HAD NO IDEA how hard kindergarten was going to be. It was just GRUELING. So I just roll my eyes now. Uh huh. Sure.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Like I said...just wait! Being available 100% of the time to answer a question is not "hovering". Like I said, we do not complete their homework FOR them. I can't understand why you cannot comprehend that concept? AND, we have always encouraged our kids to ask questions, whether it be a teacher or us, because that is part of the learning process. I love seeing what my kids are learning too! You'll find that out when you have more experience under your belt. I can just see it. Your kids will be afraid to come to you with questions for fear of being labeled "dumb" by their own parent! Wow.

Hopefully, by then you'll realize the importance of parental involvement in school. I can just see it...you're going to be "that" type of parent who is every teachers nightmare. The kind that doesn't take an interest in her childs education but then gets all pissy when she feels her child is being picked on because the child isn't living up to par. From what I've understood from your previous posts is that your school district bites and you probably should take more interest in your kids education.


If I'm "hovering" too much, then so be it. My kids find dh and I approachable and I haven't heard any complaints from them yet. They are independent, good kids and responsible(I have heard this from all of their teachers and other kids). They make their own choices and suffer the ramifications if they make the wrong decisions.
I'm proud of them.

FWIW, my dbil and dsil where/are involved parents. Their dd is in her second year of med school and at the top of her class. Biomedical engineering is the field that she wants to specialize in.

I gotta share this thread with my friends who have been-there-done-that. I personally find humor in hearing an inexperienced parent pov, who has absolutely no clue and is in for a surprise.

Well, back to studying my biochem. Why am I studying biochem at the age of 41? Because MY parents were never involved and now I am going back to school to better myself. Let me tell you, college classes bite when you haven't even picked up a science book in almost 20 years! LOL!

Thanks for the entertainment, btw. What a great way to spend a much needed break!

Oh yeah..good luck!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

So does condescension come naturally or is that gained with experience, too... I'm confused. I need to go find my mommy so I can ask her what SHE thinks.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

If by meaning I feel superior to someone that has virtually NO experience with older school aged children than yes, I guess my manner came off as condescending. So what. I'm a "seasoned" mom and proud of it. I've earned the privelage of feeling superior to those with less experience. And not afraid to admit that I am.
Let's add smart @ss and dry sense of humor to my personality traits too.

Chill out guys. Geesh, your insecurities are showing. Not to mention that many of you have way too much time on your hands. It seems that picking apart the sentences of those posters who make you feel inferior is a favorite hobby of many of you. Find something else to do with your time. Like perhaps play "helicopter".

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Oh BTW Michelle, you misquoted me. I believe my exact words were:

"I would certainly hope that a parent would be 100% available to their child when a question does arise."

I didn't write: "I MUST be available 100 percent of the time to answer ANY question my child has!"


I guess I can see why you don't want to help out your kids, your reading comprehension isn't exactly ideal.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Gina, I am in kids' class practically every day helping out. I homeschooled them from the time they were 2.5, so if I don't think helping them with kindergarten homework is a big deal, well that's because I work with my kids every single day ANYWAY. I just don't plan on micromanaging them by the time they are sixth grade, because I'm fairly certain I will have given them the skills they need to work on their own by then.

Some people need to be needed. I'm glad you've found your role in life. I am not one of those people.

Now I must bow out because I know you must have the last word. Go for it!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Zyzzyva

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Honest To God.. YOU (4kids4me) Are A Lunitac. You are such a condescending word that can't be written here.. Always!! Always!! You start something with someone! Does not matter what the subject is, you find a way to act like an almighty ass. *I* can't stand you!

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker" border="0" width="400" height="80" /></a>

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3lilprincesses - so worth logging in for! lol



Michelle

Tyler - 19-college bound-Oh My!
Steph - 17
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan - 5 ~33wk2d~

Yea it was actually!! Ahh Now i can sleep tonight!

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker" border="0" width="400" height="80" /></a>

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker"

Try not to let me get to you too much. Life's too short.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

LOL! Entertainment for this blah-ish time of year!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

I can see if motion sickness were an issue - but then it would only take once, why not let the child decide? Why does it matter to you where they do it? My kids prefer to have down time at home - well, one of them does, he always does his on the bus so he can play at home. My daughter the social butterfly chitchats on the bus and studies at home. My other varies from day to day. My point is that the kids do the homework and come for help if they need it, which IMO is how it is meant to be, really nothing to do with family dynamics but with letting the kid do his or her own job. And please do not assume we don't discuss things or show interest in their work...that is really separate from homework.

Off topic, and not just addressed to you - I really detest when someone discounts another's opinion just because of a lack of experience. Just a personal pet peeve of mine!

I guess in that way of thinking my experience with older kids doesn't count, since they aren't triplets. LOL! Whatever works for you. But I am not the one spending hours on homework, just saying.

Kari S.

Mom to BBB 21, 18, 14
BBG 9/25/01

Kari,


Yes, all it took was once with my dd....unfortunately it happened in our vehicle. Barf all over the middle seat of the 'burban. Thank God for leather seats.

And no, I don't ENCOURAGE (note the word ENCOURAGE) my kids to do their homework on the bus. I never said that I forbade them. If they want to do it, that's their choice.

This general statement is not entirely directed to you:

Again, THE KIDS have hours of homework! Just because we are at home and available to answer a question or two, doesn't equal to "helicopter parenting" or "hovering". Our kids come for help if they need it. My words were taken WAY out of context, again and again, and again. The family activities that they bring home from time to time are simply a part of their schools curriculum. Are we "hovering" just because we are participating in a family assignment? One that they ARE graded on?


'nuff said. I've had a very long day of exams and I am going to crack open a beer or two. Well deserved as I ACED my exams! Woohoo

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Cat~

Sweetie, if you're gonna flunk Kindergarten, then I'm right there with you!

My girls came home last week practically crying and going bonkers on me about 2 things they missed in their Phonics Books.

I'm like: What on earth are you guys complaining about!?! Show me!

One kid opens her book to show me the big, red circle and says: Look! We got these wrong! We were supposed to cirle the "W" words!

I looked and a "wasp" and a "walnut" was circled in red.

Ooopsie. Mommy is stupid and thought it was bee and nut.

So, yeah. I'm going to flunk.

And FWIW, I'm taking a break from the working world and STILL feel "imposed upon" by some things from school.

It's hard. And I feel like I'm constantly beating the clock.

We no sooner get in the house, wash hands, have a fast snack and we are cranking out the homework. AND I'm trying to make a nice dinner.

So, I feel your pain. I look back on my career days and truly... I think: How do Moms do it?

I'm a SAHM right now, which I love and feel blessed to do, buy there are days when my laundry looks like an espisode of Hoarders.

And if your kids are doing so well academically and socially as you say, take the dog for a walk, play outside, make cookies, enjoy Little League and ballet class! Try not to stress about all of the school requirements.

Pick and choose the "busy work"! It's not necessary!

Just think if things were on the opposite side of the spectrum and your school didn't expect the best from your kids. I think that would be more disconcerting than what you're going through right now.

Lisa

Lisa,

When my kids get something wrong on their homework, I say, "Okay, now we know the correct answers. Isn't that great? That's why we do homework, so we can learn."

It's okay if they make mistakes on homework. Making mistakes pinpoints what they actually know and what the teacher needs to teach them.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Michele~

Wanna know the most cornball thing I say to the girls in times like these:

"It's OK you made a mistake! That's how you learn. And that's what erasers are for!"

That usually calms them down.

Lisa

Lisa, just had to tell you that I am storing that one away for use later! Thank you (I have one daughter who is a PERFECTIONIST and freaks when she makes mistakes.)

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

>Lisa,
>
>When my kids get something wrong on their homework, I say,
>"Okay, now we know the correct answers. Isn't that great?
>That's why we do homework, so we can learn."
>
>It's okay if they make mistakes on homework. Making mistakes
>pinpoints what they actually know and what the teacher needs
>to teach them.


My mom used to tell me "if you could do everything perfectly the first time, you wouldn't need to go to school".

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

Hillyt mom to
Ian 11
Ella, Holly, Jilly 6
Hadley 3

now see that made me laugh. I never can figure out some of those abstract pictures they use. walnut....seriously who made that page?

That sounds like a lot of homework for Kindergarten. I would take shortcuts such as have them read the sight words to each other or to themselves; read them a few books on the weekend instead of one each night.

Personally, my priorities for my kids is school and school work ... extra-curricular activities are secondary. My dds are in piano and ccd right now. They were in karate for a few months a couple of years ago (along with piano and ccd), but it was more than I could handle, and, more importantly, my kids were tired. We're starting Spanish lessons for them once a week (on weekends), and we'll see how that goes. If I feel that they're overscheduled, we'll stop that.

It can be difficult to juggle work and family, and sometimes there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do. Hopefully, your kids will have less homework next school year, and/or they'll have homework that they can complete independently.

Take care,
Gloria

I have to agree with pp. Extra-curricular activities are secondary. Cat--seems like I remember your daughter being in a dance class everyday? There is no way my girls could go to school all day, then have an after school activity, and do homework/reading, etc. every night. Nevermind dinner and a bath when necessary!

I also think MStar's kids are in afternoon K for 3 hours. There is a big difference in being in all day kindergarten (school starts at 7:45am and ends at 2:35pm for us) vs. half day. My kids are exhausted and ready for bed by 7pm if not earlier. They get up early for school and that's with me dropping them off (no bus system in our district).

My advice to you is to prioritize what is really important for the kids and what they really need to work on. If they know their sight words--SKIP it. If they benefit more from reading to you, then do that instead of reading to them (or read them 1 small book). We never get worksheets to do at home--they do tons at school. But we do have family projects and we usually tackle them on the weekends. Most weekly assignments we get a couple days to work on.

I've quit writing in their reading logs b/c my girls are reading on a constant basis now. I think the teacher is aware of that so we focus on their reading packs (books that they are bringing home to read to us.) Our 2 extracurricular activities are violin and that is Fri after school (so no pressure to come home and do homework afterwards). Our other activity is chess and that is on Sun afternoon. So that leaves the week to focus on the important school work that they really need to do and benefit from.

I want to get back to dance/gymnastics which they did last year before K started. But right now I refuse to make their day and my day any more stressful/exhausting than it needs to be. Hopefully, in 1st grade, they will have more stamina and we can add dance/gym back to our schedule. We will definitely do it this summer and give soccer or softball a try!

Hope my perspective helps!
--Pops

I'm right there with you!

I'm debating whether the worst assignment was them addressing 26 (X3 of course!) valentines to each classmate

OR

Listening to each child count to 125 (by ones) every night for 2 week. Especially when they could all do it on the first night.

Slow. Torturous. Insidious.

We spend about 45-60 minutes/night on homework because it has to be parent-supervised. In order to supervise it closely and watch their letter formation especially, I have to do it one-on-one.

BBB born 7/26/04 at 35 weeks

I have to say I am amused by the whole pissing match above. But it makes me thankful to have kids that are independent learners. Certainly makes this whole "painful homework" as they get older things moot. Sure kids get assigned a lot more homework as they go up in grade work and it takes more time some days. But it is their work not mine. They may have the occasional question but they are fewer as they go up in grade work not more. I have no problem helping them if they need help but they need to try it on their own first. Homework should be a review.

Even when we have Science Fair, Research fair presentations, papers, or other major projects it isn't a major deal x3 because it is their work. I am there for guidance, sounding board, review, editing. I enjoy doing these projects so I don't really see them as taking away from family times but more adding to. But still THEY do the research, they put the project together, they make the board or power point, not me. But they have helped me make bulletin boards for the school for years so their boards usually use my bulletin board materials and look like little mini me boards. What was that saying in college, "If you can dazzle them with brilliance, blind them with bullsh*t" Yeah, my kids have learned how to make their presentations look professional. I didn't read the books to know if their content is great but damn they look good. And it makes me proud. LOL They get A's so I assume the content was good as well.

My goal is to raise Autonomous learners that don't need me riding them to get their work done. And yes I am a STRONG believer in involved parents in education. But that doesn't NOT include sitting, checking and enforcing homework once kids are capable of doing it independently. But rather still having family reading time even long after your kids are independent readers. Volunteering at the school, having spontaneous conversations about different event (not ones that have to be assigned as family discussions. I find that absurd. It should be called family dinner.)

So in the end I found the homework in K more annoying because it was homework for ME. Even though my kids were independent readers going into K they had to fill out these stupid reading logs nightly with the name of the book, author, illustrator, number of pages and the time read. Annoying x3 I finally refused to do it anymore. They also did the AR tests so she knew what they were reading. The worksheets I could deal with. It was those logs. And we never did the books they sent home. They were reading many grades ahead so we read our own books. Why waste time on books we didn't need. They wanted to read harry so they read Harry. Just make it work for you.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

That's what I've been saying Well, except for discussing current events around the dinner table. Politics could cause indigestion issues. Our conversations at dinner are casual and spontaneous.

Really though, look back and really re-read my posts. Ignore Michelle's misquotes and her twisting of my actual words. We don't "hover". We just find interest in our kids education and like to be aware of what they are studying in school. Like, what are they learning in science on a particular week. Asking questions at school is encouraged by all of their teachers (and should be), it's part of the learning process. Why not do the same at home? Their teachers don't provide the actual answers and we do not either. Frankly, our oldest dd is in some advanced classes and my mind turns to mush when I look at some of the math problems she brings home. I'm finding a hard time comprehending as to why answering a question is so "wrong" and considered as "hovering"? By answering a question, I do not mean actually answering an actual problem that they may have on a worksheet. I'm talking about the kind of answers that may help them think "outside the box" which may aid in how to find an answer.

It's unfortunate that my words were were twisted and I was misquoted by Michelle, that's what lead to this whole "pissing match". Yes, I contributed to it and in a sarcastic way. I'm a very sarcastic person, an appealing part of my persona that is appreciated by many..including my dh,friends,the kids and THEIR friends.

BTW, it's nice to see a response by a parent who has older school-aged children. I appreciate learning from those that have been-there-done-that! I love reading the college-aged forum for valuable input and experience from the more seasoned parents.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Yes, Gina. Big evil Michele made this all up. I "twisted" your words. Here are YOUR words, copied and pasted.

"My stomach actually turns when they bring home a science project."

"I would certainly hope that a parent would be 100% available to their child when a question does arise."

"I discourage homework on the bus."

"I'm better."

"Being available 100% of the time to answer a question is not "hovering"

"If I'm "hovering" too much, then so be it."

"I've earned the privelage of feeling superior to those with less experience."

Meanwhile, this thread was about KINDERGARTEN. I offered Cat some ideas on how to make her workload easier. You turned into a pissing match about how superior you are. Talk about INSECURE. Are you INSANE?

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Aha! Thank you for providing me with my quotes as I see now where your confusion came from which led to your assumptions.

"My stomach actually turns when they bring home a science project."

I think you assumed that my stomach turned because I was going to be the person that had to do the science project. Yes! I believe we've pinpointed the problematic statement. Cool beans!

Thank you so much for the condensed version of my responses. It's gonna make me sleep better tonight knowing that you cared enough to take the time to copy and paste my statements so that I could clear up any confusion.

Thank you SO much!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Honestly it doesn't seem like we were saying the same thing. You really do seem to resent homework. It shows in the way you flat out taunted the Kindy moms for commiserating on how much work home work is for them. If you feel homework is harder now and project are stomach turning for whatever reason that is fine. Everyone has different feelings about things. It may very well be harder for you, and I respect that.

I only responded telling the K moms that not all moms past that stage feel that it is harder because you were being all out rude about it, not sarcastic. Laughing at them when they say they know more and harder work is coming telling them they can't possibly know isn't sarcastic, its rude. And why can't they know? Can they never have met an older child with homework? Maybe they have a niece or nephew that they see on a regular basis doing their homework. Telling people to come talk to you when they have more years of parenting under their belt is not sarcastic, it is inflammatory and rude. There are women here with K age children that have teen age kids also so you can't assume they don't have more parenting years under their belt. Heck doesn't Cat have an adult daughter? So she knows all this stuff already too.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

Then label me as rude.
Rudeness, sarcasim it's all in perception.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Tasha the reading logs KILL me! I hate them!!! LOL My kids have to do them each night and are graded on them. In 2nd Grade here they get letter grades. So every homework assignment counts!

My kids can do their spelling work with out my help. Math occasionally they need my help. One DS who is in advanced classes has started bringing home some writing assignments that he needs my help with. Maybe I am doing something wrong and I hope I am not a helicopter mom when it comes to homework. But my kids NEED my help with it. One of my DS's struggles and he needs it way more than the other two. He gets frustrated easy and will have complete meltdowns (this is the main reason I hate homework). I sure as heck want to teach them to work independently. But I have to say that this does not come easily to all kids. Great if you are lucky enough to get 3 kids who do. If I had 3 kids like DS who struggles I think I would go crazy. I just do not have the patience for that x's 3! lol

Anyone have experience and words of wisdom for the kids who struggle with learning? He was my growth restricted baby and I really believe his learning issues is a result of that.


Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

If your child is struggling with his homework, then, yes, you need to be checking it and helping him out more than you would for someone who isn't. Many times kids are afraid of making mistakes (especially struggling students who are expecting to make them), so they want you to check each of their answers as soon as they write in on the paper. You can try getting him to do his work more independently by saying something like, "Do the ones you know and skip the ones you don't. Once you're finished with the entire assignment, I'll look over it and we can work on the ones you didn't understand together." If you feel that your son can't wait until the end of the assignment, then start with 4 or 5 questions . . . whatever works for him and extend it over time. In your ds's case, I would point out the wrong answers and work with him to understand the problem/question. I would also speak to the teacher and find out how else you can help him.

Gloria -- Mom to five girls: ages 11, 10, and 8/8/8

No you are definatly not doing anything wrong helping a child that needs help. You would be doing something hugely wrong leaving a child to flunder who needed your help.

The good parent helps their child when they need help but allows them the chance to try things indipendentaly when they are capabile.
A helicopter parent is one that creates a dependent child by not allowing them the opportunity to try and do things on their own that they are capabile of doing on their own.

So are you a helicopter parent, I don't know. But in relation to the homework situation, heck no. You are just being a good mom. I am sure it is frustrating to you because it is frustrating to your children. Hopefully it will get easier for you all.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

I have a child who is in 6th grade. She does her homework on the bus on her way home from school most every day. I have taught her responsibility for herself and her school work since kindergarten. She does it all on her own and she knows that getting her homework done and her grades are her responsibility. If she has a question and has really tried to find the answer on her own, using all of her resouces then I will point her in the right direction but I will in no way give her the answer outright. I went to school. I did my homework and I got my grades. Now, it's her turn. Kids need to learn that they are responsible for themselves and their work, not to mention their own actions.

I agree with Stephanie and Tasha about autonomy. I am starting to peek at this group, to get an idea what I'm in for in a couple of years (as mine are 3 years old).

I am a little shocked at what I am seeing as expectations for 5 and 6 year olds with homework. I never had homework until grade 4 as a child. I read books I was interested in, made arts and crafts that I chose, and learned to make appropriate letters as I did writing assignments during school hours.

Does anyone else think that the expectations are a liitle much for such young kids?

Sheila
GGB 10/29/06 (33 weeks)