Well, it has finally happened. I have found the nut that I cannot crack. I am up the creek without the proverbial paddle. I am ready to throw in the towel and concede defeat. Why???

Because. I am preparing to flunk kindergarten.

Not the kids. Me.

Yes, we are continuing to learn how to write the alphabet. However, at this point in time we are also receiving two to three cut and paste projects to be completed during the week; three to four math sheets to be completed during the week; a calendar of activities for the month to be completed with the parent -- at least three per week; sight reading words that are supposed to be read to us (x2, thank you), and you have to initial that you've had these read to you daily. On top of this, I am supposed to be reading to the kids nightly -- not them reading to me, me reading to them.

All of this "stuff" feels like busy work and it prevents me from having the kids read to me; prevents us from choosing our own activities to do together -- we much prefer sewing doll clothes to many of the options; and, places us under extreme stress during the evenings.

I find that I'm resenting all of this. My children are in ballet and Little League -- which is leading to a busy enough schedule. We are in church on Sundays and I teach the Sunday school class. We enjoy taking the dog for a walk and having picnics together. But, by the time I've gotten home from work, we cannot do anything other than start cranking to complete all of these papers.

There are a lot of wonderful things that my kids are learning this year, but I'm very frustrated and feel thoroughly imposed upon -- as though the school powers that be have infiltrated my home and are dictating how we will spend our time together once they are back with me.

Anyone else feel this way?

Oh, and Megan, it is a no brainer -- leave the kids in pre-school another year. You can avoid for one final year the mass hysteria of competitive parents using the fruit of their looms to prove their mettle in the world.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

Oh, I feel your pain! Homework bites! I have two sixth graders and the homework they get right now takes up a ton of their/our evenings! It's unbelievable! My stomach actually turns when they bring home a science project. Even the stuff my fourth grader, who is also in special ed, brings home. Good grief!

And to the pp who said that it wasn't that time consuming for their family, just WAIT, your kids are little yet! Keep in mind that Cat is an attorney with her own practice. A job in which she probably has to devote at least 60 hours per week to and she is raising her kiddos on her own!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

But her kids aren't in sixth grade. They are in kindergarten. Yes, we all know "what's coming", but she ain't there yet, right? I know my kids are way advanced, too, and we just churn and burn those baby worksheets right now. Work smarter, Cat!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

and if her kids are so advanced it should not take that long to do the work.

BBG Triplets Born March 31, 2004
31 weeks three days
Douglas
Kalie and
John Michael

Nope. You don't "all know what's coming". Muhahaha! You cannot even imagine until you get there...I LOL at that statement. I gotta share that one with dh! He'll find it even more hilarious now that he's taken his vicodin---wisdom teeth yanked a few hours ago.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Well, my sister's kids are the same age as yours and she works a full time job and a full time internet job and I've yet to hear her bitch about homework because she taught her kids how to be self sufficient and they have long since been doing their own homework on their own. I would hope that my kids are capable of managing their own homework by 6th grade, but I guess we'll see!!!! I mean, I don't plan on going to work with them either someday, but who knows? Maybe I will!!!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Well, let's give your sister a cookie! What an amazing woman!

A few things that my kids take home are parent/child activities to encourage parental involvement. And yes, a sixth grader is perfectly capable of managing homework by themselves...BUT they do ask questions. I would certainly hope that a parent would be 100% available to their child when a question does arise. And trust me, the older they get, the more questions they have.

Like I said, just WAIT! hehehe! Until you've been there you really don't have a clue! And it's probably better that way...ignorance is bliss when it comes to future kid issues.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Yes, her kids are amazing too. Honor roll students. One already has middle schools competing to have her in their school. Which is insane to me because that's not how it worked when I went to school.

But back to Cat. We are talking kindergarten here. It really shouldn't be that difficult, Cat. If your kids aleady know the sight words, why are you wasting time going over them? Why don't you let your kids read to YOU, even though you are supposed to read to them? That's what I do, they fill out their own logs, then I read to them in my own time frame when I feel like it.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

I have to admit I don't get the whole homework problem. Homework is for the kids, not for me. My kids come home and do their homework - what they didn't do on the bus ride home, that is. If they need help, they ask, and we help them. They don't usually ask for help. If I think about it, I look it over when they're done, but because I am busy I don't usually think to ask to look. I assume they do it OK because they get decent grades and the teachers haven't asked for a conference.

The hardest part was the reading aloud. I confess I fudged on their sheets. They read all the time, and I just can't sit for 90 minutes every night listening to them read aloud. Bad Mommy. But this year they haven't had those, thank goodness. They do AR instead, which I loathe, but at least it involves them taking responsibility for their own reading.

One thing we do is limit their activities, so we don't have a lot of extra stuff to do. But it just hasn't been the big monster I hear others complain about. I have heard other parents in their classes complain, so it's not that our schools go easy on them... :/

FTR my triplets are in 2nd grade (in separate classes) and my others are in 6th, 10th and freshman in college.

Kari S.

Mom to BBB 21, 18, 14
BBG 9/25/01

I agree, homework is for the kids, not the parents. However, it does take up a lot of our family time and evenings. That's the frustrating part. Especially since our evening times are so short. The triplets are in bed by 8:30 or 9:00. Dh and I retire around the same time because we are both up by 4:30am. His start time for work and that's the only time that I can squeeze in a workout.

My kids usually have a TON of homework. My 6th graders are on the bus for about 45 minutes and my sophmore has about an hour ride. The last one is home by about 4:30. There is NO WAY they would be able to finish their homework in 45 minutes to an hour. In fact, I discourage homework on the bus. As far as I am concerned that time on the bus gives them a chance to unwind, socialize with friends and a gives them a break before homework.

I guess my point is that everyones family dynamics are very different and homework/school does take up a lot of time. It also all depends on school standards and what they like to see with parental involvement. I personally enjoy some of the family activities that my 6th graders bring home---especially the exercise that involves discussing current events! It's interesting to be able to listen to their personal views and perceptions of what is going on in the world today! The discussions that we get into get them thinking "outside of the box", such as different religious beliefs and different cultures. My kids are turning into very diverse little creatures. Something that will help them in the adult world, especially college. A childs education goes way beyond the academic aspect....something that our school district places emphasis on. The formation of a well-rounded individual and that involves parental involvement. Unfortunately, a lot of school districts haven't gotten around to developing that philosphy.

Sorry to have gotten way off topic and to have written a novel, but I have been studying all day and needed a break. I've also had way too much caffeine!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

"I discourage homework on the bus."

Well, no wonder it eats into your family time then. Your kids are spending 1.5 to 2 hours a day on a bus, then you aren't LETTING them do their homework if they can get it done? So if they took the initiative to get it done without you, would you be angry? Sounds like a control issue to me. I would not only encourage them to do it on the bus if the chose to, but also during downtime in the classroom when they have completed their work. Teaching good time management skills goes a LONG way in college.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Re-read my post. 45 min to an hour on the bus. No downtime in the classroom--they switch classrooms between subjects. Only time to do homework is at HOME. Um, that IS why they call it "home"work...not "bus"work. Besides, I have one that would be puking her toes out---motion sickness.

Reading a book on the bus, sure! Trying to pound out a trigonometry problem is probably not a good idea while sitting on a bus with about 25 or so screaming kids. Doing homework on the bus JUST to get it DONE?! Ya. Right. Ha! It is to laugh!

Come talk to me in about 10 years when you've had more parenting experience under your belt. Yours are like, what, 5 or 6 or something. Easy-peasy. Enjoy this age...it's a piece of cake.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

I have to tell you that my sister and I have gotten a kick out of you in this thread. You remind us of our friend Darcy who is still doing her son's homework for him in college. I guess time will tell, won't it?????!!!!!! I might not be able to cut the umbilical cord either.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Never said that I did my homework for my kids. I think your dilusional. Did you accidentally drink something from a plastic bottle...did it have red dye in it too? Too many wheat products this week maybe?

And, yes. I agree, this thread is entertaining.....Love it when people feel they are experts in an area that they have absolutely NO experience in.

Face it. I win. You lose I'm more experienced. I'm better.
Here's to 10 years from now! LOLOLOL!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

I gotta say this pissing match is definitely entertaining! Thanks ladies!


Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

Your welcome Terri!
It HAS been fun!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Yes, you are giving us less experienced mothers notes on what NOT to do!!!

"I must be available 100 percent of the time to answer ANY question my child has!"

Good luck with that one! At what point will your kids have to use their BRAINS to figure stuff out on their own? Oh, that's right. NEVER!!! Do you let them do ANYTHING without you?

But keep posting, Gina. I am keeping notes on helicopter parenting.

Hover. Hover. Hover. Hover. I can hear your blades whirling.

We had another triplet mom at dinner last week who has hired a retired teacher to sit with her kids four days a week to do their homework with them for 2 hours a day. She's the same one that told us we HAD NO IDEA how hard kindergarten was going to be. It was just GRUELING. So I just roll my eyes now. Uh huh. Sure.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Like I said...just wait! Being available 100% of the time to answer a question is not "hovering". Like I said, we do not complete their homework FOR them. I can't understand why you cannot comprehend that concept? AND, we have always encouraged our kids to ask questions, whether it be a teacher or us, because that is part of the learning process. I love seeing what my kids are learning too! You'll find that out when you have more experience under your belt. I can just see it. Your kids will be afraid to come to you with questions for fear of being labeled "dumb" by their own parent! Wow.

Hopefully, by then you'll realize the importance of parental involvement in school. I can just see it...you're going to be "that" type of parent who is every teachers nightmare. The kind that doesn't take an interest in her childs education but then gets all pissy when she feels her child is being picked on because the child isn't living up to par. From what I've understood from your previous posts is that your school district bites and you probably should take more interest in your kids education.


If I'm "hovering" too much, then so be it. My kids find dh and I approachable and I haven't heard any complaints from them yet. They are independent, good kids and responsible(I have heard this from all of their teachers and other kids). They make their own choices and suffer the ramifications if they make the wrong decisions.
I'm proud of them.

FWIW, my dbil and dsil where/are involved parents. Their dd is in her second year of med school and at the top of her class. Biomedical engineering is the field that she wants to specialize in.

I gotta share this thread with my friends who have been-there-done-that. I personally find humor in hearing an inexperienced parent pov, who has absolutely no clue and is in for a surprise.

Well, back to studying my biochem. Why am I studying biochem at the age of 41? Because MY parents were never involved and now I am going back to school to better myself. Let me tell you, college classes bite when you haven't even picked up a science book in almost 20 years! LOL!

Thanks for the entertainment, btw. What a great way to spend a much needed break!

Oh yeah..good luck!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

So does condescension come naturally or is that gained with experience, too... I'm confused. I need to go find my mommy so I can ask her what SHE thinks.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

If by meaning I feel superior to someone that has virtually NO experience with older school aged children than yes, I guess my manner came off as condescending. So what. I'm a "seasoned" mom and proud of it. I've earned the privelage of feeling superior to those with less experience. And not afraid to admit that I am.
Let's add smart @ss and dry sense of humor to my personality traits too.

Chill out guys. Geesh, your insecurities are showing. Not to mention that many of you have way too much time on your hands. It seems that picking apart the sentences of those posters who make you feel inferior is a favorite hobby of many of you. Find something else to do with your time. Like perhaps play "helicopter".

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Oh BTW Michelle, you misquoted me. I believe my exact words were:

"I would certainly hope that a parent would be 100% available to their child when a question does arise."

I didn't write: "I MUST be available 100 percent of the time to answer ANY question my child has!"


I guess I can see why you don't want to help out your kids, your reading comprehension isn't exactly ideal.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Gina, I am in kids' class practically every day helping out. I homeschooled them from the time they were 2.5, so if I don't think helping them with kindergarten homework is a big deal, well that's because I work with my kids every single day ANYWAY. I just don't plan on micromanaging them by the time they are sixth grade, because I'm fairly certain I will have given them the skills they need to work on their own by then.

Some people need to be needed. I'm glad you've found your role in life. I am not one of those people.

Now I must bow out because I know you must have the last word. Go for it!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Zyzzyva

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Honest To God.. YOU (4kids4me) Are A Lunitac. You are such a condescending word that can't be written here.. Always!! Always!! You start something with someone! Does not matter what the subject is, you find a way to act like an almighty ass. *I* can't stand you!

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3lilprincesses - so worth logging in for! lol



Michelle

Tyler - 19-college bound-Oh My!
Steph - 17
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan - 5 ~33wk2d~

Yea it was actually!! Ahh Now i can sleep tonight!

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Try not to let me get to you too much. Life's too short.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

LOL! Entertainment for this blah-ish time of year!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

I can see if motion sickness were an issue - but then it would only take once, why not let the child decide? Why does it matter to you where they do it? My kids prefer to have down time at home - well, one of them does, he always does his on the bus so he can play at home. My daughter the social butterfly chitchats on the bus and studies at home. My other varies from day to day. My point is that the kids do the homework and come for help if they need it, which IMO is how it is meant to be, really nothing to do with family dynamics but with letting the kid do his or her own job. And please do not assume we don't discuss things or show interest in their work...that is really separate from homework.

Off topic, and not just addressed to you - I really detest when someone discounts another's opinion just because of a lack of experience. Just a personal pet peeve of mine!

I guess in that way of thinking my experience with older kids doesn't count, since they aren't triplets. LOL! Whatever works for you. But I am not the one spending hours on homework, just saying.

Kari S.

Mom to BBB 21, 18, 14
BBG 9/25/01

Kari,


Yes, all it took was once with my dd....unfortunately it happened in our vehicle. Barf all over the middle seat of the 'burban. Thank God for leather seats.

And no, I don't ENCOURAGE (note the word ENCOURAGE) my kids to do their homework on the bus. I never said that I forbade them. If they want to do it, that's their choice.

This general statement is not entirely directed to you:

Again, THE KIDS have hours of homework! Just because we are at home and available to answer a question or two, doesn't equal to "helicopter parenting" or "hovering". Our kids come for help if they need it. My words were taken WAY out of context, again and again, and again. The family activities that they bring home from time to time are simply a part of their schools curriculum. Are we "hovering" just because we are participating in a family assignment? One that they ARE graded on?


'nuff said. I've had a very long day of exams and I am going to crack open a beer or two. Well deserved as I ACED my exams! Woohoo

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson