My kids are in Kindergarten this year and are having a great time. We split them 2 and 2 this year at the request of the Principal. He felt it would be too much for one teacher to deal with all 4 and so he requested we split them up. We agreed even though we really wanted to keep them together. So anyway...his plan is to split them completely for 1st grade, and I DO NOT WANT THAT!!!!!! Logistically, all 4 of them in different classes will be a nightmare. We are already experiencing problems with only 2 teachers.

I want to request that they be placed as they are this year, but I know he is not going to want to do it. When we spoke originally, he mentioned something about "in my 30 years of education work" blah, blah, blah...but then admits he has never worked with any multiples higher than twins. He also said something about "typically this is what we do with twins...."

I know I want to have this discussion with him, but I am not sure when to approach him. I was thinking about after April break, just sending him an email, trying to keep it informal.

Any thoughts on how to handle this?

Dawn

Mom to Samantha, Jeremy, Paige and Christian

Born 12/12/03 @ 31w 2d



http://lovinglifewithquads.blogspot.com

Ask the office staff when the principal usually starts meeting with parents to talk about placement for the following year. Our school's principal starts meeting with parents right after spring break. I would start gathering info that supports your request now. I've never had to debate placement so I can't really help you with advice but I know there are mom's here who have had to fight to keep their kids together. And please, how can he compare twins with quads??? Next time he says "typically this is what we do with twins....." Tell him you are not there to talk about twins, you are there to talk about what is best for your 4 kids and YOUR family.
Good luck~

Shell~
B/B/G 1/7/2000

Dawn~

It seems like the prinicpal is willing to cater to the teachers so I would hope your meeting with him would sway him to cater to you and your family.

I can't imagine having my four children in four different classes. All of the different assignments and trying to keep up... Exactly what you said: logistical nightmare.

You mentioned the principal wouldn't want all of your kids in the same class because it would be overwhelming for the teacher. How? They would just be four students added into the class. How is it "too much" for the teacher simply because they're siblings?

If I had quads in my class, I seriously would not be feeling overwhelmed unless they were identical or had a tendency to beat each other up on a daily basis or something. LOL!

Just like the PP suggested, find out when it's appropriate to have a meeting to broach the topic of placement. And don't hesitate to demand a little customer service. Schools have to be open to serving parents' needs and if you think it's best to have them all in the same class for your sanity, then suggest as much.

I would want to sit in his office and chat. An email might be lost on him and it could be easy to dismiss your requests and concerns. Meet face to face. Good luck!

Lisa

We split our 4 in Kindergarten and it was really, really difficult. They were together in one preschool classroom, so I wanted them to develop as individuals in K, esp. my only daughter. It was very stressful to manage a lot of homework and different schedules, field trips, conferences, etc.

For 1st grade, we placed 2 and 2. Now this year in 2nd, we placed 2 and 2 -- but we changed them. Next year in 3rd we will again do 2 & 2 with yet a different set. We are alternating them every 3 years with a sibling, so it is some variety. I found that placing 2 together really strengthens the bond between that pair. But I want to keep alternating, to keep it fresh for them and sort of re-discover their sibling in a new way every 2-3 years.

You will lose your mind if you place 4 separately -- in my opinion. I won't do that again till high school when they can manage their own lives better.

Peggi

I agree with the PP about making the connection personal (phone or face to face) rather than an e-mail.

Four different classes in those primary grades would be very difficult. Once they reach an age where they need to learn personal resposiblity (4th - 5th grades) I think separate classes would be much more doable.

Best of Luck!!

Deb
Son, 12
GGB, 10

Dawn,

I agree with PPs that you should find out when they start the process of developing class lists for next year. For our school calendar, early April is a good time to begin the discussion. I would urge you to start that early, as you may need to go to the Superintendent if the principal just won't budge. You'll want time to go through the bureuacracy if it comes to that.

In the meantime, gather up your information. Get the packet from MOST and contact TC for their resources too. But be aware, for every article/study you present that supports your wishes, they could produce an article/study that supports complete separation.

Take the time during spring conferences to get a feel for the teachers' thoughts. Don't show all your cards just yet. Ask questions such as:

"Do my children disrupt the learning process in any way?"
"Do my children rely on each other to complete their work?"
"How much do my children interact with each other while they are in the classroom? How different is that compared to how the 15 other children interact?"

This will give you an idea of whether you would get support from the teacher for keeping them 2x2. While it's still subjective, you are asking very direct questions that will help you make your case. You aren't asking the teachers how they should be placed. You are just asking how your kids being together affect classroom dynamics and their own ability to learn and to grow socially. If your kids are like mine, this year of K has demonstrated that having 2 siblings in one class really isn't a problem.

In April, I would send the principal a note telling him that you would like to meet to discuss placement for next year. Don't say anything about what you want...just tell him you want a meeting to discuss placement and you'd like to do so before they start making class lists for next year. I did this for my girls before they headed to first grade and even suggested that the K teachers might sit in on the meeting. But we already had a principal who was onboard with 2x2, and he was smart enough to know that handling 4 (5 because of Joey) different classrooms would be difficult for me.

Our K meeting was very positive. He said "you know your kids and I don't, so I'll rely on what you think is best." I know he would have preferred they not all be together, but he would have done it if I wanted. He allowed a set of triplets and 2 sets of twins to be together in K. He did say he would not put our 4 in the same class with the triplets. On a side note, the teachers and principal recommended that the triplets be separated for 1st grade, and the parents agreed, but with reservations. I hope to chat with their mom soon to see how it's going, and how she's keeping up.

When you have your meeting, you can take your MOST & TC info. If the teachers are in the meeting you can ask the same questions you did in conference, but this time in front of the principal.

Oh, and if your guy just won't budge, ask him to provide you with a schedule of when he'll be volunteering on your behalf in the classroom and when he'll be in your home to assist with homework and paper management.

So for us, we will likely do 2x2 each year. We will decide the pairings, and the principal will decide the teacher. BUT we got a new principal over the summer, after class lists had been (mostly) finalized. I'm not sure of the new guy's approach and I'll be sending him a note asking if he thinks we need to meet to discuss 2nd grade placement.

Seriously, I'm dealing with 3 classrooms right now- 2 in the same grade. My 3rd grader is easiest because he gets one math sheet each night and additional reading sheet on Tuesday. The 2 first grade classes bring home a weekly math packet. One comes home on Monday to be returned the following Monday. The other is Tuesday to Tuesday. Then there are the poetry notebooks. I don't even know when those are supposed to come home and go back. Seems I'm always tripping over them at home. And each teacher has a different format for the reading log (don't even get me started on THOSE things). I don't volunteer for class parties, except to send in food/supplies. I don't attend class parties. It's nearly impossible to get to each and someone will always be disappointed. It's difficult to volunteer in the classrooms too. And you just won't be able to if they are in 4 rooms.

Good luck with this. I really hope you don't have a fight on your hands

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

Dawn,
You are smart wanting them all together in 1st grade. We split my 3 in Kindergarten and 1st grade. We did it because everyone said they needed to get their own identity. Blah, Blah, Blah. y kids are fine. One thing I learned is stick to your guns! You are the Mom and you know what's best for your kids and you. I am so stressed out with homework from 3 different teachers, helping in 3 different classes and 3 different of everything. I know people have more then one kid and deal with it, but when they are all the same age it's different. Do what's best for your family. A short story. In Pre-school the teachers were worried about my DD making friends cause she just played with her brothers. Well she is so social, she does sleep overs and she has no problems. Point is, you know what's good for your kids.
Good luck
Donna Mom to Tyler, Samantha, Zackary soon to be 7 years

Donna & James
Due date - First week in May 2003