Well at school the K teacher crumpled up one of DS homework paper saying it was messy and that since he is a F1 reader he could do better.(he gets OT) All my sons are in the same class and the other two told me.
I was shocked. I didn't know what to feel. DH is upset and phoned the vice principal this morning , she said it was one child against the teachers word ( but I have two witnesses) any way they will investigate.

Had problems with teachers over spoons, and peeing but this take the cake. But what's done is done.

What should we expect as a result?

I feel the teacher should apologize to my son with us present so he knows he did nothing wrong and that adults sometimes do make mistakes. DH says no. But what else?? I want a better positive outcome, parents can't always sheild their child from negative experiences but what should I expect from he school?

My other son who saw this, is fearful to go to school cowering in the hallway hiding. I feel terrible sending "out to the wolves w/o any protection." I am not at school to see anything that happens to them. Of course this is not the worse thing that could happen and adversity can be helpful but I don't know how to handle this.
What discussion I should have or if I should just let it go? DS toughs it out but it bothers him inside he was wimpering in his sleep last night. Poor little guy

I already let them know that they can tell me anything that happens so that we can protect them and keep them safe but they cried but daddy will go to jail b/c he is a criminal. They are fearful DH will do something bad to the teachers and principals b/c they are right. I said people make mistakes even teachers and parents, adults. I've pointed out my faults and bad behavior but do I let it go or keep an open discussion.

HELP! THank you in advance. Emmy G

The teacher's expectations should NOT be perfect work. The expectation should be for every child to do THEIR very best, with a good attitude.

If a kid is able to easily do the work perfectly and doesn't bother, the teacher should say definitely something. If the child has fine motor challenges and scribbles but has done his very best, the teacher should be praising his effort!

You have had enough issues with this teacher that it is time for some sort of intervention. Especially given that your "mommy sense" is clearly telling you things are not right. Do you work? If not, I would "volunteer" in that classroom A LOT (as much as possible) so I could keep an eye on things. "Volunteer" as in, like it or not, I will be in your classroom so you can come up with something for me to do or I will sit in the back, but I'm going to be here regardless.

It is concerning that the kids are afraid to come to you b/c of DH's reaction. They need to be reassured that he WILL NOT physically harm others so they CAN come to you freely. If something truly awful happened, it sounds like they would not come to you b/c of fears of Daddy going to jail. A little kid shouldn't have to make that kind of decision.

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

I don't know why my kids would think if you go to the principals office you would go to jail b/c youre a criminal. I think one child in their K class kicked a teacher and they saw the police security officers in the school take him away to the principals office.

Therefore mention jail criminal. Not saying my DH would act like that. I should have been more clear. Emmy

It seems like you need to get to the bottom of this. I'd make an appointment with the principle and the teacher and talk to both of them. If it is getting worse then you need to step in and see what is going on. Have your kids moved to another class if you aren't getting the results you want. If things are getting worse then you should step in and find out what is happening. Sometimes kids take things the wrong way. I had that problem with my DS. The only way you'll know is have a sit down with the teacher and principle.

Good luck,
Donna Mom to Tyler, Samantha, Zackary soon to be 7 years old

It is understandable that you are upset however, calling the vice-principal would not have been my first choice. Honestly, calling the teacher and scheduling a time to talk with her would have been the first option. When I was a teacher, it was always appreciated when a parent would call and talk to me first instead of calling the principal. Usually a better resolution that way. I was called for doing a similar thing to a child's paper (but this was a 6th grader). I am an art teacher and all the kids know to sign their papers to get them back or I throw them away. I threw one away and was called on it. I apologized to the parent and student (in private) and everything was fine.

Now throwing away a paper that a child in Kindergarten did is silly to me. Who expects perfection in a child that young?!?!? Since it is still bothering your children then I would still call the teacher and talk to her. Just let her know that is upset your other kids too. She may be a little ticked herself since the principal was called first instead of her.

Good luck!

Suzan

g/g/b August 21, 2005
my miracle 24 weekers!!!!

>It is understandable that you are upset however, calling the
>vice-principal would not have been my first choice. Honestly,
>calling the teacher and scheduling a time to talk with her
>would have been the first option. When I was a teacher, it was
>always appreciated when a parent would call and talk to me
>first instead of calling the principal. Usually a better
>resolution that way.
>
>She may be a little
>ticked herself since the principal was called first instead of
>her.


Hey - read her other posts (scroll down to the bottom of the forum). This same teacher wouldn't give her kid a spoon when he had forgotten his, and wouldn't answer him so he couldn't go to the bathroom and had an accident, and then she was mad about it.

If it was just the incident being discussed here, I would agree, but given this teacher's history, I would be REALLY concerned, and I think contacting the administration was the right thing to do. But I tell you what, I would be watching her like a HAWK after that! Or I might even be tempted to pull my kids out & homeschool them for the remainder of the year. The early school experience being positive is SOOO important, and I just hate that their kindergarten experience is turning into such a nightmare.

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

I was answering this post, not any previous ones. She was asking advice on this one thing in particular. I gave my HONEST opinion as a mom, a teacher, and as a daughter of a Special Ed teacher who started out teaching in a basement because any child who wasn't normal was not fit to be seen in the school. Please, I know all about teachers, administration, etc.

The incident for this post was about throwing out a child's paper because it was not up to the teacher's expectations. Briefly mentioned were past issues (I don't look at other posts when responding).

To Emmy G, I honestly think you should contact the teacher and ask for a conference with you, your husband, and the principal. It was pointed out to me that you have had issues with this teacher before. Alll these things should be brought to the table since it has upset your children and you. If their is no resolution to be had, then possibly switching classes may be an option if you are comfortable with that. I do agree that she should apologize to your children though. And to me homeschooling would not be an option. Those who can do it great, but personallyl I KNOW I couldn't.

Suzan

g/g/b August 21, 2005
my miracle 24 weekers!!!!

Well the VP interviewed my son and he told her what had happened.
We will probably choose an internal meeting, it is not such outrageous abuse, just inappropriate behavior.

(( I had spoken to the teacher before x3 but she is not receptive on similar isssues and her view is it is the child's fault (WEIRD HUH?).For me: Three strikes youre out)) That is why the VP route.

WHAT I WANT is an apology to my son (DS said "SHE won't apologize B/C she is an adult" )and a better way for her to address my son's homework. ;ie instead of embarasssing him and crumpling the paper, if not satisfied. Give me a new copy we will redo and compare, so he can see the difference.

I am not here to destroy her career, she might of had a bad day. But from my experience with her, I want to have her behavior documented, in case it is NOT an ISOLATED INCIDENT.People can act the way they want but there are consequences.

My hope is that this teacher does not repeat this kind of inappropriate behavior with other children. (I had the luck of all three of my children being together so it is not just a he said/she said, plus my other DS told me, otherwise I would not have known it happened. They are in a CTT class not a general ed class,plus he has OT issues so I feel they should expect messiness.)

NO one is perfect and we are all human beings but a child is an innocent and the burden of responsibilities relies on the adults.

I get really EMOTIONAL when stressful things happen, so it is hard for me to think straight. I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL the POSTS b/c it helps me balance out my thoughts with people who know how life is with trips. THANK YOU ALL. It is difficult to explain in detail the situations, so some misinterpretations happen but it is OK with me.

SO THANK YOU!!! with gratitude, EmmyG

I would make it my sole mission in life to destroy her career. She obviously is not capable of dealing with children, so she should go get a new job. She is a pathetic miserable person and she shouldn't be teaching. If she crumples up a child's paper, she is an immature psycho and I wouldn't trust her with my children.

YOU should get in the classroom. I've said it before and I will say it again, get it the classroom. Get involved.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Well, if ever there was a teacher who shouldn't be a teacher (let alone Kindergarten) it's her.

You're a better person than I, for sure.

Kindergarten is a place where little kids, who just got done being babies, should feel safe and happy.

I completely understand the goal of wanting the kids to have nice, neat handrwriting, but when that objective isn't met, crumpling the child's paper is not the answer. I don't care what kind of crappy day this chick had; it's totally unacceptable.

Maybe it would work on a 16 year old who just told the teacher to eff off. *Maybe* that would be a dramatic message to the kid. But, to a little kid just starting to write?

I expect to be catered a little by the teachers. I want to have total peace of mind knowing that my kids are learning and having fun in a safe and developmentally appropriate little classroom. That's not a lot to ask.

Even the most challenging kid in the world doesn't deserve a paper crumpled in his face.

I hope things go a little smoother for you and your DS.

Lisa

I should admit my policy on messy work (though I frequently mention it before school and so they have an up-front warning). About every other day, I say,

"Time to clean out your bookbags! Get out all your papers and go through them. Put the ones that you did your best and you are proud of on the counter for Mommy to see. I'll put them on the art wall for Daddy to look at when he gets home! Put the ones that you didn't do your very best on in the trash."

We implemented this when one kid started "coloring" at school by making one or two stray marks on the paper, then declaring she was done and putting it in her backpack so she could go to free play. The teachers weren't noticing despite the fact that I gently pointed it out, so I started doing this.

Since each kid has a section of the art wall that is theirs, and since the 3 big kids should have matching projects, it is very obvious at a glance when somebody hasn't done anything well in a while!

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

>I should admit my policy on messy work (though I frequently
>mention it before school and so they have an up-front
>warning). About every other day, I say,
>
>"Time to clean out your bookbags! Get out all your papers and
>go through them. Put the ones that you did your best and you
>are proud of on the counter for Mommy to see. I'll put them
>on the art wall for Daddy to look at when he gets home! Put
>the ones that you didn't do your very best on in the trash."
>
>
>We implemented this when one kid started "coloring" at school
>by making one or two stray marks on the paper, then declaring
>she was done and putting it in her backpack so she could go to
>free play. The teachers weren't noticing despite the fact
>that I gently pointed it out, so I started doing this.
>
>Since each kid has a section of the art wall that is theirs,
>and since the 3 big kids should have matching projects, it is
>very obvious at a glance when somebody hasn't done anything
>well in a while!



Love this idea!!! =)

Liz
Mom to
Cole and Troy Feb/2004 28weeks
^Clay^ Dec/2003 20 weeks