thought I might get more response over here...

My 5 and 8 year old lie sooo much! I am really at a loss of how to handle it. We've done the whole soap/hot sauce/time out/grounded from certain things/explained that lying is a sin. Nothing has helped. How do I make them understand that lying is wrong? They have become SO convincing that I have now made a rule that both of them have to stay in their room until someone tells the truth because I can't figure out who is lying. It's become a habit now too. They will lie about simple stuff that they wouldn't get even get in trouble for. They'll say things like, "Can we go to the park?" I'll say I don't know or I have to talk to dad and then an hour later come to me and say, "when are we going to the park? You said we would!" huh? I don't get it. They are definitely old enough to know this is wrong but they are so used to doing it now that I think they believe their own lies! I am just fed up.

Crazy mom to:
DS 10
DS 7
& BBB 5!
9/29/06 born @ 32w2d

My youngest is the liar at my house.
- "Elise, did Miss Beth read you a story at school today?" "No - no story." (They have at least two books EVERY day - I checked.)
- "Meredith, did the eggs at your school hatch?" Elise interrupts with "we have eggs at my school and chickens hatched out".
- "Mommy, Miss Beth told me to bring donuts to school today." Yeah, the teacher made snack arrangements with my 3 year old rather than talking to me directly. Uh huh.

I could sort of understand if she did it in an attempt to avoid getting into trouble (not that that would make it right, but at least I could understand that there was some purpose).

With the big kids, it has only been an occasional issue, and I spank for it. It is about the only thing I have to spank them for anymore, so it's a big deal to them. And that seems to have curbed it somewhat. With Elise, I'm not 100% sure understands what she is doing and that it is wrong, so I haven't been spanking for it. And maybe that's why it is such an issue with her.

Looking forward to hearing some other responses!

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

I have one DD who when she was Elise's age would frequently say what she wished were true. It wasn't true but her intention wasn't usually to be disrespectful but rather to seem better in the eyes of her siblings or just to say what she wishes would happen -- like wishing it would make it happen.

When she was just trying to seem as cool as her siblings I would usually just pretend I didn't hear it. Now, the other kids don't let her get away with stuff like that and she has stopped. If she said something like the donut example, I would say "You probably WISH you could bring donuts but I am sure that is not what your teacher really wants." I think at that age it is a lack of understanding that causes the misrepresentation/lying.

Marsha
mom to Nick, Hannah and Paige born July 15, 2004