Hey everyone! Summer is almost here and I was wondering what time most of you have your bedtimes set at. The boys are 6 years old now and we have had a 7pm bedtime for a long time now. Unfortunately, the sun is out late and they don't settle down in their rooms anymore. I am not opposed to moving bedtime to later, but I am concerned about them getting enough sleep. It seems to me that no matter what time they go to bed, they are still awake at 5am! Last night they goofed off in their room until 9:30pm and were up at 5am still. They were destroying things in their closet, so today I moved their beds in front of their closets so they cannot get inside. They are too smart for their own good! I have the closet locks on the doors, but they figured out how to get them off. I am keeping my fingers crossed that tonight they will settle down better since they won't have the closets to play around in. I also NEED the evening to myself. Is it over? I think I need to get cable in my bedroom now so that the boys can watch their shows in the LR and I can watch mine in the BR. I know they are getting older. I guess I just needed to vent about it. They are just driving me nuts.

And, for those of you with older children (5 and older), what discipline has worked for you? I do time outs and they do work. But they continue to come up with more ways to push the limits. They have been grounded for a specific issue (peeing in their room) and that worked for that one issue, but I feel like I am always yelling at them about something! I want to be a happy mom! I don't want to be disciplining them ALL the time. I feel like they are saying amongst each other, "Damn, got busted for that one. Now what can we do." Seriously, I think they collaborate at night about what they are going to do the next day to push me over the edge. Is it a boy thing? They are all in one bedroom and it will have to stay that way. Any thoughts? What works for you?

Is there anyone else here with all boys? Is the fighting, yelling, hitting and talking back a boy thing? Do they have to destroy everything? UGH! I am so exhausted! Thanks for listening and thanks for any advice anyone can offer!

Chris
Mother to BBBBB
born at 28.3 weeks

http://lilypie.com>

Hillyt mom to
Ian 12
Ella, Holly, Jilly 6
Hadley 3

Let me start with, I don't have quints, so it could just be the sheer #'s. My girls are some of the the best bedtime kids I know. The secret is media intervention. I know contoversial, but always for about 30-60 minutes before I have wanted my kids to sleep, I have let them have a show, or a book on CD, or music, something to lessen the chaos. It is tough when they all have to be in one room. Bedtime is 8:30. It is just in the past couple months that they have started "sleeping in" until after 7 am or later....

When they are not good, they lose the tv time. I am big on finding the "currency" that works for the kid, and using it. I love when they get invited on a playdate or a birthday party because it is an obvious motivator to behave. Mine are not destroyers, but they have their share of fighting, talking back, ect.

My boys go down at 7:30, but I confess to starting at 7:15 because it takes them so long. They get up at the same time no matter what until they CRASH, but I can;t handle the crankiness that comes with that, so 7:30 it is, but they do get some late nights that I just choose not to worry about.

My boys don't talk back but they are SO LOUD. Today was a bad day for fighting and LOUD, but it was raining and they were home from school and are overtired from our camping trip last weekend.

Yes, they are very hard on everything: clothes, toys, the house . . .

I feel so badly that last summer was a terrible one for my guys. T was sickly when he was born that we didn't go anywhere but for tests, and they were such good sports about it. I am so glad that this will be a better summer for EVERYONE! (Read: I will wear them out and they will sleep!)

Ali
Jack, 8 1/2
Abraham, Dylan and Zane 6 1/2
and now . . . . Tobias, new last June!

At 6, my boys still had a 7 bedtime. Now the trio are 6 and have an 8 bedtime right along with their almost 9, older brothers. With all of them in school, having the same bedtime is easier, so they get the benefit of being younger sibs. Our rule was always they could talk in bed, but they couldn't get up unless it was to go to the bathroom. Now, on occassion, they would come down and prolong it,(I'm scared of this or I need a drink, etc.) but not often. If they had destroyed their closet, they would have been cleaning every inch of that closet. I am big on if you make the mess, you clean it up. My favorite line around here, is "There are five of you and one of me, you will have to do X yourself." If my kids peed in their room, they would have been scrubbing the carpet.

Cindy
Paul and Andrew
Kristen, Rachel and Michael

At age 6 my kids bedtime was 8:00pm. Now it's just 1/2 hour later at 8:30. My gang has a hard time getting up at 6:30...but there is not enough time to get homework, dinner, showers etc. done by 7:00pm.

The older my boys get the more rambunctious they get. I won't allow talking back and disrespect. I have put soap in mouths on more than one occasion. I think with boys or any kids really when they get rowdy like that you really need to buckle down and let them know who is boss and what and what not will be tolerated. I can be strict...but I refuse to let my kids be brats. Do they try...yes....but do they get far...no!

I can't even imagine what it's like having 5 boys....sleeping in the same room no less. My boys share a room and we haven't really had a problem with them going to bed until recently. They will talk and goof around. Their bedroom is right off the living room. So when I hear them going I am quick to go in and stop it. When they won't settle down I turn off night lights and threaten to shut the door. This usually does the trick for them. I have also threatened to separate them and make one sleep in the playroom. I have one who is afraid of the dark and sleeping alone. So that ALWAYS works! Sounds mean but shoot I need my down time and they need to know it's bedtime and not playtime.

Maybe you could try putting 2 to bed at 7:00...then 2 more to bed at 7:30 and the 5th boy gets an 8:00 bedtime. You could rotate who goes first depending on how good they behaved during the day. Make a reward chart so you can keep track. I have said I was going to put one of my boys to bed 15 minutes earlier just so they can't talk and get rowdy. So far I haven't had to do it. But I think it would work. My DD who has her own room is always asleep in 5 minutes or less.

I often use the line "Raising kids is like being pecked to death by ducks!" LOL Hang in there momma!

HTH!

Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

5 BOYS! Wow that is awesome!!!

Is there any way to separate them?
Is it really bright in their room when the sun comes up? If you have not already I would invest in black out blinds.

Also, maybe a particular one is the early bird and once he is up, he wakes up the others who may not be ready to wake up?
I would also put a clock in their room and tell them they are not allowed to come out of the room before 7, wake up any one else before 7, make noise before 7 etc.?

I have an early bird and the 7:00 things works pretty good. Or you could tell the 1st one who wakes to quietly sneak out of the room and crawl in bed with you, or go watch tv etc?

These are all ideas that have worked for me!
HTH!!



Gina mom to BBG born 2-4-03 at 37 weeks
and surprise baby boy 11-21-07

oh my. I'm not sure if we can even compare. I have bbg and the volume from my 2 boys is so loud, I can't imagine more!

but for what works best (mine are 5.5), is actually appealing to their good nature. I have a list of complimentary adjectives on the fridge and I try to observe their good behaviors and note the character quality (kindness, courtesy, empathy, stick-to-it-ness, generous, thoughtful, careful...). The better I see them, the better they try to be. They seem to want to live up to the image their parents have of them. If I point out their bad behavior all the time, I just get more of it. If I point out their good behaviors, I get more of it. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect by any means! But it's a learning process. and I think they are learning to really try to be good little people (most of the time!).

For bedtime, my three are still together. I sit in their doorway (door cracked open) until they fall asleep. They will talk and play otherwise. They get bored from having to stay quiet and still and go to sleep pretty quickly (usually less than 10 min). Actually, I really don't sit there anymore, but I used to, for months! Now I just crack the door if they start talking, and they think I'm there. I tiptoe back to the living room

For the morning noise- 5am. sheesh, I'd be furious getting woken up that early. do you have the room darkening shades on the windows to keep the light out? I compliment mine each morning they stay quiet- how pleasant it was to wake up to such quiet, how courteous/thoughtful they were to their sibling(s) still sleeping by keeping quiet, etc. For a year I tried yelling every morning but that didn't really work

I'd be surprised if they were all waking up at 5am, do you know? with mine, I know it would be one that would wake up and then start waking the others. if that one would have stayed quiet, he/she would have probably fallen back asleep, and the others would have probably stayed asleep.

but five boys, yes I can imagine the amount of yelling, hitting and fighting that goes on. if mine hit, they need to do something nice for that person (trying to teach empathy) and ask for forgiveness (being responsible for their action). with yelling, they are reminded about speaking politely, even to siblings. they would need to reword what they say. fighting- if they work it out properly, with words instead of fists, I'm okay with it. talking back is not a boy thing though and I wouldn't tolerate that. do you have a fenced yard? if mine can't play inside decently, I send them outside.

do you still have a nice bedtime routine with books and quiet activity? no tv? tv definitely gets kids riled up; it's not a calming activity even though it may appear that way. at least, that's what we've found.

bedtime for ours is 7:30pm. I get them at 7:30am.

Mary

born 12/12/04 33w2d

We had been yelling more than I wanted in our house recently too. I posted a question on another site and got a WONDERFUL answer about getting them to do their chores and cut down on the yelling from a mother with 4 kids (close in age, including twins.) Here is what she said:

You should get them all together, Supernanny style and talk about the yelling. Explain that yelling is disrespectful, no one likes it when they are yelled at, and it will not be tolerated. If you yell at your siblings or your parents, unless you are yelling the words "My hair is on fire!" or similar will be punished thusly---first, you will be sent to your room, or boring spot to be punished for seven minutes and then will apologize to the person you yelled at. Repeat offenses will be punished with loss of computer/TV/playdates/whatever their currency is for the rest of the day, then the rest of the week.

We immediately implemented this and it has REALLY worked. We do a couple repeat offenses as repeat time-outs rather than taking away something, but it has definitely nipped that bad habit in the bud. I think the hardest is for me to remember to keep my tone down!

Tara

Mom to BBG born at 33wks on 4/3/03

Thanks for all the great ideas everyone! We did a 7:30 bedtime last night and tonight. Last night they still goofed off, but not as long. Tonight was a lot better. They played outside until 7pm and I think they really wore themselves out. During the school year, I have to get them up at 6am to get them ready to leave for school by 7:30am. Hopefully this summer they will sleep in a little more

Chris
Mother to BBBBB
born at 28.3 weeks

http://lilypie.com>

I think your bedtime may be too early. My three were at 8pm until they turned 8 and are now at 8:30. Once they are out of school it gets even later. You can'tr really fight the light effect, so either move back their bedtime for the summer or get room darkening shades for in there. I always play music in the room that runs for about 45 minutes, this helps them unwind, something light and calming. Make sure you have bedtime routine which helps them start to shut down for the night.

Put a clock in their room that they can read. Tell them that no one can get out of bed or wake anyone else up before 6 am (or whatever time you pick, but be reasonable, they won't lay there quitely for 2 hours). Give them things to do while in bed, like read a book, play the Leapster, draw or color, etc. They can do these either at bedtime or in the morning when they wake up. I also gave them lights that they can use in bed for these activities.

Boys are rambunctious and play hard. They wrestle, climb, jump, and try all sorts of crazy stuff. They intentionally and unintentionally destroy stuff. They need to have this energy channeled into activite play. Make sure that they are getting lots of exercise. Take a bike ride after dinner, go for walks, play sports, jump on the trampoline or whatever it takes to wear off some of the energy several times a day. I would say limit their TV time after dinner too, there have been studies showing that TV will disrupt sleep cycles.

You could try a moderated bedtime where you send one to bed and then in 10 minutes send another one or two, etc. until they are all in bed.

Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

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