Boy it has been an emotional day! After dealing with all the repercussions of my mom's attempt at night-training my kids, I had a huge confrontation at Sam's Club. To be honest, I am a little worried that CPS will be called with my license plate number.

Tell me this - at what age would you leave your kids for just a minute at a store? Tell me honestly if you think I was reckless.

We ran to Sam's after The Little Gym tonight. When we were done, it was raining absolute buckets. Our Sam's has a covered entrance/pull-through, and a wide (like 20 feet) sidewalk between the pull-through and the building. I pulled the grocery cart up next to the building (like 5 feet from the entrance - out of the way, but right next to the entrance). I instructed my kids clearly not to let go of the cart for any reason whatsoever, not to let the cart move, and not to talk to anyone. Two cart boys were standing right there watching this, along with a number of other patrons. They were like 15 feet from the pull-through where cars drive, but cars have to pull in between curbs (sort of like a bank drive-thru), so they aren't going to be driving fast. And my kids WILL NOT go out in the street.

I raced out and got the car and pulled back up. Gone for maybe 1 minute tops as I was in the row of parking spaces right in front of the door. Technically I guess they weren't in my sight as I was running away from them.

When I got back, this 50ish-year-old woman was talking to the kids and appeared angry. I immediately opened the back van door and ushered the children in and shut the door. She apparently had tried to take them in to customer service to report them abandoned, and they had told her that they weren't allowed to talk to her without Mommy and they weren't moving. And they flat refused to go, to the point of threatening to kick her. "They could have run out in the road, they could have been kidnapped, etc. etc."

I would never leave ONE of them like that at this age, but 4 kids? Tell me the truth - am I totally reckless? Or am I doing the right thing to give them 60 seconds of freedom in a semi-controlled environment, knowing that in another year it may be a few more minutes, and assuming this teaches them something so they will be prepared when they are at the age that they want to be dropped off at the mall?

I should add that there were a LOT of other people waiting right there, including several Sam's employees and several moms with kids, waiting for the rain to slow down a little. They ALL heard my instructions to the kids. That was part of why I felt OK about it as well. I was 99.9% sure that my kids would obey. I really am that confident. The bigger risk, of course, would be someone trying to snatch them, but who would do that with 20 witnesses at rush hour in a good neighborhood?

We as Americans are prone to trying to raise our kids in this bubble instead of teaching them and allowing them some small freedoms to prove themselves. The risk, I feel, was SO minimal, but the lesson (especially as they had the chance to practice what to do if someone tried to get them to go) was important!

What do you think? Surely I'm not about to get stuck in the "free-range parenting" category!

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

I'm sorry but your pick THIS TIME to give them some freedom???

To be honest if you were parked in the front row like you said, why not just walk them with the cart to your car? They won't melt, it's raining, so what, all 3 or 4 hold on to the cart and walk to the car. I would NEVER in a million years think that it would be a good idea to leave my kids standing alone with the cart and my kids are GREAT listeners and would do as their told. But it takes one second for a kid to wiggle enough, fall in to the cart and the cart start rolling, with children attached and you have an accident...

I'm sorry Megan, but I think you need to rethink your time to let them have more freedom, this wasn't one of them!


Michelle

Tyler - 19-college bound-Oh My!
Steph - 17
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan - 5 ~33wk2d~

I am going to be honest and say that I thought the same thing. This is when you decide to let go a bit?

I know at our Sams people are always pulling up to the front to load up big stuff, usually halfway on the sidewalk, and when it is raining, they seem to do it even more. Also, our Sams tends to have a lot of nitwit drivers. At 5 years old, I wouldn't have left them to go get the car. I think I give my kids lots of freedom and they are very independent. However, I am still very careful around cars and in parking lots.

Having said that, it would have been nice if the lady could have been a nice older worman that remembered the struggles of being a Mom with young kids and just stood there with them until you returned and dropped the angry lecture.

Cindy
Paul and Andrew
Kristen, Rachel and Michael

Megan, my girls are a month older than yours and there is NO WAY I would pick a time like that to let them have a taste of freedom. We are just barely doing 10 minutes in the backyard by themselves for them to have some independence.

As Michelle said, what's wrong with a little rain? My kids love being in the rain. There were just way too many things to go wrong in the situation you described. I'm glad nothing happened, but I would have been concerned just like the lady was.

Wow.

Michelle
ggg born March 15, 2005
35.2 wks

I wouldn't have done it. The lady should not have talked with your kids or tried to move them. But I never in a million years would have left my kids like that.

You said the risk was minimal. Why put your kids at risk at all?

mom to:
Ryan 32 The Lawyer
Jason 30 The Chief Meteorologist
Chris 30 The College Student
Tim 30 The college grad

I love hearing their versions of their childhood memories!!

The other day, at Wal*mart, I picked a really good spot across from the cart rack and I walked the kids over, all holding hands. It was near the front and the stop sign was right there. The cart was behind it. I moved the cart after I got two of my girls in and as I got the third one in a dump truck backed up into the stop sign and it crashed to the ground. (They were putting in new sidewalks). It happened literally where I had just had the cart and moved it to get my third baby in...

My point, you just never know and I was there the whole time. If I hadn't been there and something awful had happened, I would never forgive myself.

Sometimes, common sense has to dictate situations and this was not the time I would have picked to provide my girls an opportunity to invite trouble. Parking lots, roads, and public areas, in general are totally my clamp down places. I just wouldn't have done it...




Jamye

You do never know what will happen and it can happen in a split second at those box stores. We just had a hostage situation at our walmart that happened in a split second. A man with a gun pulled his SUV up and blocked one of the entrances. Had someone left there kids at that entrance even for a min they would have been separated by a gunman for hours. Everyone on the other side of the SUV in the parking lot was forced to evacuate, even those who said they had loved ones in the store. Took 5 or 6 hours for hostage negotiators to talk him down. They did evacuate some of the store employees and patrons out the back door in the time. But do you think kids that young would know how to get to the back of the store and to listen to people telling them to sneak around the store to hide from this man to get out the back door after being ushered back inside at gunpoint?

Was this an extraordinary and rare occurrence? yes But strange things do happen.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

No. I wouldn't have ever done that, but I would not have called CPS on you. I wouldn't have done it because my kids would never in their lives stand there obediently and wait for me. The thought of my wild monkeys just standing there makes laugh. They would have piled in the basket and Gregory would have taken them sailing across the parking lot.

Good for your kids for standing up to the strangers, but I think it was a bad idea.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Michele,

I think we have the same kids!

Jennie
Proud mom to BBB born 09-02-03 @ 32.2 wks
and 13 yr old big brother
and 3 yr old little brother

I think maybe this was just a momentary lapse in judgement. This probably wasn't the best time to start feeding your little ones their first tastes of freedom. But we've all made mistakes!



Jennie
Proud mom to BBB born 09-02-03 @ 32.2 wks
and 13 yr old big brother
and 3 yr old little brother

My girls are 3 months older and also very well-behaved in public. I personally wouldn't have done that, but not because I don't trust my children. It's OTHER people I don't trust.

I was just at Target last week, walking with 4 kids hand-in-hand IN THE CROSSWALK when an elderly lady zoomed around the corner and ignored two stop signs to come plowing past me and into a handicapped spot. She was about five feet from me when I pushed the kids backward.

(I told her "Feel free to ignore those stop signs... they're just for looks anyway" as she got out of her truck, LOL.)

Just an FYI, my husband used to work security detail for Target and heard all about country-wide incidents where children were molested/stolen one aisle away from a parent. It's more common than you think. It only takes about ten seconds for someone to move in and walk away with a child. What if that "concerned Grandma" was a sick pedophile who just grabbed a kid and ran?

There's just too much that can go wrong. In the bigger picture, I'd rather let my kids have fun in the rain for 30 seconds and get a little wet than regret leaving them on their own like that.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

Hell to the NO!!! This should be entitled "a little freedom IN THE PARKING LOT?!?"

Really, you are UBER strict with your children and cautious and all and you choose the parking lot at a store to give them independence?

I'm with one of the previous posters - why couldn't you just run them to the car if it was parked so closely?

Not the smartest thing ever done, but then again, nothing that I would call CPS for.

Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005

Nope Never! My kids are 8 years old and I don't think I would do it. I don't trust other people. Not to mention....what if some crazy person came driving into the pull up recklessly and hit them? I know the chances are slim. But that is the stuff that goes through my mind. Parking lots are just dangerous places...especially for small children because of their height first and foremost. What if one of them dropped something and it rolled into the street....are you 100% sure they wouldn't go after it?? I know my kids wouldn't think twice even though I have told them 10,000 times never to do so. I would never just assume that strangers would watch my children because they over heard me giving them directions on not to move.

Anyway, I think you already know the answer to your question. You wouldn't have posted looking for reassurance if you thought it was the right thing to do.


Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

No, no, no way would I have done this. I am all about letting my kids learn a little freedom and independence, but this was not the place to do it.

I was cringing thinking about how scary it must have been for your kids to stand there alone amongst all those people and then have the woman questioning them.

It was just rain---my kids purposely go out in the rain and look for the biggest, muddiest puddles to get soaked in. They would have been fine walking quick with you in the rain or you all should have waited it out together if you didn't want to have them walk in the rain.

Shiloh--Proud Mom to:
BGG born 2/04
B born 7/06

Megan~

I don't want to make you feel badly about your decision, but no. This was not a good teachable moment for a freedom lesson.

It's not just a weirdo issue, but really anything can happpen.

I understand what you're saying about all the "safe" people that were around you and your kids, but still. I wouldn't want to depend on them in the event something happened.

And I'm sure it wasn't an issue of your kids obeying.

I just want everyone near me just in case. An old lady could hit the accelerator instead of the brakes. Anything can happen. You just never know.

There's a beautiful happy medium to being over-protective and permissive as parents. No doubt about it.

Lisa

I think you're fine, don't worry about the older lady. Everything turned out fine and you're right, you are teaching your children responsibility.

This was nothing like the lady who I recently saw who left her 2 year old strapped in the carseat and then went into the Safeway for 45 minutes before coming back out. I timed it and yes I called the cops and yes they arrested her.

Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

<a href="http://www.tickercentral.com"><img border="0" src=""></a>


http://www.tickercentral.com>

No, I wouldn't have left my kids there by themselves. I would've waited out the rain until it slowed down. A better alternative then leaving you kids alone would've been to ask one of the Moms that was waiting if they could do you the favor of watching your kids for 1 minute.

Yesterday I was on a field trip with my dd's class and while I was waiting close to the restroom, this man asked me if I could take his 4 year old dd to the restroom since he couldn't go in. He instructed me that she could do everything by herself but just needed a little supervision. I was happy to help him.

Gloria

Hillyt mom to
Ian 12
Ella, Holly, Jilly 6
Hadley 3

I am thinking it might be more dangerous to try and keep track of 4 little kids, and push a cart to the car in a downpour. I can't picture the set-up, so I can't say for sure. These are the types of things that make me hate taking my kids with me to the store, that and the whining....

See, I don't get that. If she is 4, why can't he just take her into the men's room, cover her eyes if that's what he's worried about and put her in a stall? I would never in a million years ask a complete stranger to take my kid in the restroom. You probably look normal, but how does he know what type of person you are? I almost feel like it's handing your kid to someone. Here you go.. do what you want, I'm not looking!

Ann

BBG born 7/7/03
33 weeks 3 days

I suppose he weighed his alternatives and maybe thought it was better, for reasons of his own, to send her with a woman to the restroom than take her into the man's stall. I hear they're pretty nasty looking.

Of course, I don't know what was going through the man's mind, but he had that look that sometimes men get when they have no idea how to handle a situation with their kids, especially with their dds. I don't know if my dh ever took any of our dds into the men's restroom? I've never asked him. But then I have a lot of dds, so he always sent them in the women's restroom together to keep an eye on each other.

I felt a little weird when he initially asked me. I thought why is he asking a stranger, but then once that thought past through my mind, I just wanted to help him. It became a "doing something nice for someone" moment.

Would I have done it? No, I would've taken my kids, girls or boys (if I had any), to the women's restroom, but that's speaking as a woman and mom. I don't know how acceptable it is for men to take their dds into the men's restroom.

Gloria

ONly because you asked... my husband takes the girls to the bathroom all the time in the men's room. It never even dawned on me that should be weird.

I would have had NO PROBLEM with a man in the woman's restroom if he was taking his daughter. My neighbor stopped at a very large truck stop/ rest stop with her kids once and was about to send her (then) 10-year-old son into the restroom. She noticed there was a man who was following her son everywhere he went and was watching him. When the boy headed to the bathroom, the man started to move toward the door, so my friend looked right at him and walked into the men's room! LOL

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

That's scary. Personally, I've heard stuff about men's bathrooms that would make me leery about sending a little boy in there by himself. An old boyfriend and I were at the mall once, and he rushed out of the restroom because some man was performing a lewd sex act on himself right in front of him.

Like I said, I've never asked my dh if he ever took my dds to the men's restroom when they were younger. He may have. I think it's great that your dh is comfortable taking your dds with him to the men's restroom. Obviously, the man who asked me wasn't.

Gloria


Mom to five girls: ages 11, 10, and 8/8/8

OMG. I think if it was me, I would have struck up a conversation with him, just to throw off his rhythm, LOL!!!

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

LOL!!! My boyfriend didn't speak to the guy, just ran out as fast as he could! -- Gloria

Mom to five girls: ages 11, 10, and 8/8/8

I'm sure you feel ganged up on, but I have to reiterate, it was not good judgement.

Have I done things that were poor judgement before, yes, no question about it, but in this situation, that would not have been one of them, especially at such a young age. Mine were and are good listeners too, but it would not have been them I would have worried about, it would be other people.

So live and learn, and thankfully nothing happened.


http://teensandtriplets.com
Wiltrip Mom with 5
2 teens & BBG - school age and easier than the teens!

Wouldn't have done it.

Deb
Son, 12
GGB, 10

I also don't want to make you feel bad. What's done is done but NO WAY would I have done that.
Your kids just turned 5 and you have one that is not even 4.
At first I thought, maybe if they were like 8 or 9. But then again maybe not.
The thing is, all it takes is one low life, pedophile, monster to notice your UNATTENDED 3 year old to sweep in and make his move. And then what would you have done, left 3 kids alone for whp knows how long to chase after one?
And as far as the other people waiting, and the Sam's employees, they could have been whackos too!


Gina mom to BBG born 2-4-03 at 37 weeks
and surprise baby boy 11-21-07

I don't think this is a big deal at all. There are no more crazy child-snatchers now than there were 50 years ago. If anything, people are more hyper-vigilant about it and more likely to step in and stop someone (i.e., 20 witnesses at rush hour). With that said, I probably would have asked a nearby waiting mom if she would just keep an eye on them for good measure.

Sarah

>I don't think this is a big deal at all. There are no more
>crazy child-snatchers now than there were 50 years ago.

>Sarah



Do you have stats to back up this statement? Why would a stranger want that liability?

mom to:
Ryan 32 The Lawyer
Jason 30 The Chief Meteorologist
Chris 30 The College Student
Tim 30 The college grad

I love hearing their versions of their childhood memories!!

I wouldn't have been the least bit concerned about "pedophiles" stealing my kids in front of Sam's Club, and very truly concerned about four kids holding onto a cart, having it roll forward, and getting flattened by Grandpa as he pulls up to the curb. That is the REAL danger here.

The stats are true. We actually have LESS crime against children now than we did in the 70s. The problem is that we have Nancy Grace and 24/7 cable tv to drag out every single child death and abduction, so we FEEL like we unsafer than ever.

I feel partially responsible for Megan's lapse in judgement. We have all been harping on her, including her own mother, and I think she felt like she needed to give them some freedom and ran with it.

If you want to give them freedom, Megan, let them play in the backyard without you, or brush their own teeth, or get their own snack, or choose their own breakfast and stop feeding them that God awful breakfast slop concoction. You were on the right track, just in the wrong situation.

No harm, no foul.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

You are so right about elderly drivers (or impaired drivers) being much more dangerous in a parking lot situation.

We've been trying to get Grandma to give up her license for the last few months, she refused, then she drove INTO THE SIDE OF CITY HALL!!! LMAO The COP (!) who happened to be walking by didn't cite her, which is a whole OTHER story... the woman is 90 and her license was just renewed for EIGHT MORE YEARS. Ugh.

So yeah, now I'm hearing stories all over about elderly people ramming into banks, houses, stores, etc... or other people (we just had a middle-aged man die because an old lady parked her car on his neck at Wal-Mart). It's so common, the insurance industry has a name for it: Pedal Confusion.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

There is NO WAY I would have ever left my kids at 4 and 5 years old outside of Sam's Club to go and get the car. It's rain for crying out loud! Will they melt???

I remember a mom on here that left her kids in the car and ran into the ice cream store and back out again. She could see her car and kids the whole time and you guys ripped her a new one. This is no different!!

I agree that there are no more child molesters and kidnappers than there were 50 years ago but I can gaurantee you that if our parents and grandparents would have known what they know now they wouldn't have done it either. It's just like cigarettes. They didn't know they were dangerous and caused cancer before, now we know better but does that mean we should do it anyway because those before us did? NO.

Use a little common sense people! I wouldn't call CPS but I probably woul d have given you an earful for leaving them alone. It's not like you were running into a dangerous situation and your kids were safer where they were, it was only a little rain.

Hmmmmm....I'm just not seeing that this is as big of a deal as everyone is making it out to be. I don't know if I would have made the same choice that you did, but I'm also not sure that I wouldn't have. It sounds like the 'old bag' was just trying to cause trouble and make herself feel important. Really, if she was that worried about your kids, she would have just stood there for a minute to make sure that they were ok until you came back instead of trying to force them in the store...who does that with someone else's kids??? Weird! I really don't think that leaving 5 year olds for 1 minute is unreasonable. Assuming they are safe from traffic and you are certain they can handle it, I agree with you that they are safe.

Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com

I don't see it either. It was one minute and you could see them.
Mom to
Mario 2 lb 1 oz NICU 76 days
Luigi 2 lb 3 oz NICU 76 days
& Peach 1 lb 9 oz NICU 109 days
Born at 27 weeks

Are you serious? Can you easily navigate a Sam's Club cart loaded with groceries? I can't and I'm an adult. You think four little kids can? Four little kids can stand perfectly still and not get that cart moving as they have been instucted to hold that cart? Even for one minute? Four kids could easily put enough weight on that cart!!!! Then what would you do as you watch it roll right into the parking lot?

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Her youngest is only three. When yours were five, would you have left them in charge of your youngest in a parking lot? I can't even fathom it and I consider myself pretty laid back about purported "danger".

As far as the old bat, she probably thought she was being filmed for "What Would You Do?". I would have been looking around trying to find the cameras if I would have happened upon four very young, probably all matching clothed children, standing alone at a curb.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

>Her youngest is only three. When yours were five, would you
>have left them in charge of your youngest in a parking lot? I
>can't even fathom it and I consider myself pretty laid back
>about purported "danger".

If my kids were 5, I could have left them for 1 minute with my now 3 year old....without a doubt. I don't know if I would have, but I could have. Now that they are almost 8, the little buggers think they are smarter than me and I would have to think twice.

Your kids are very different from my kids. There are a ton of things that you let your kids do that my kids would absolutely kill themselves at. My kids trip over their own feet and walk into things. If I let them on the roof, or let them maneuver a motorized vehicle, I'd be down a couple of kids by now. It's about knowing our kids and knowing what they can and can't do and assessing the individual situation. Michele, you do that for your kids, let other people do it for their kids. It always irritates me when someone questions something that I have obviously decided is safe for my kid. If something is going on that is unsafe and I'm not aware of, by all means, step in...thank you. But, to tell me that they think my 3 year old is getting too close to the street, when I am obviously watching him, is out of line, inapppropriate and rude.

>As far as the old bat, she probably thought she was being
>filmed for "What Would You Do?". I would have been looking
>around trying to find the cameras if I would have happened
>upon four very young, probably all matching clothed children,
>standing alone at a curb.

If you come across 4 children, you *immediately* try to drag them inside to customer service to "help" them?? Call me crazy, but I'd first look around and wait at least SIXTY seconds, and probably a lot longer, to see what is actually going on. I'd be embarassed to be shown on that tv show trying to panic 4 (obviously well-cared for) children to publicly make myself feel superior to their mom, rather than actually trying to be helpful. Unless someone is trying to actually be helpful, they should just go mind their own business.

Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com

I don't see what you did was that bad at all. Since you were in a semi controlled environment and there were employees around, I would bet your kids were safe. Knowing me, if I heard you talking to your kids about what you expected I would have kept my eye on them (while I was waiting for the rain to stop ) More than likely I would have talked to the lady who was trying to make them go inside.

I wonder if we were stuck in the same storm?!?! Only while I was trying to keep my house from flooding the kids were wrecking the house inside!!!

Suzan

g/g/b August 21, 2005
my miracle 24 weekers!!!!

Hillyt mom to
Ian 12
Ella, Holly, Jilly 6
Hadley 3

I don't read anywhere in her original post that these kids were "in the parking lot" they were on the sidewalk in front of the store as I read it. I also don't see where the kids were on a hill where they had to "control" the cart. I am sure I would have done the same thing, except I would have had to drag Jilly out in the rain with me. Ella and Holly could be trusted, and Hadley would stay there holding Ella's hand. They would obey, and I am sure of it.

Sure a crazy, elderly , or evil pedophile driver could have swooped in to kidnap them, or run them down, but life is about reasonable choices. We make them every day. My kids could fall off a swingset and break their necks, but I still allow them to play on one. A bad person could break into my house, sneak in the kids room, and steal them (has happened), and yet I still let my kids sleep in a room without me.

I think Kelly said it really well. As parents we make choices about what is safe and reasonable for our children. I hate it personally when people judge those choices, as the lady at the store did, she decided instead of watching to make sure the kids were not in danger, she would meddle and overrule the decision.

Megan's biggest mistake was asking what everyone thought about it.

I think it is totally true that we all know our own kids. But public reaction would defintely way into my decision making. I could easily let my kids climb on the outside of the slides or right up the bars or poles of a 20 foot climbing structure. I don't let them do it because I wouldn't expect strangers to understand my family dynamic. I do what is the norm. If what Megan did was the true norm for her area, I doubt the lady would have freaked out.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Hilly you make very good points. But she did ask for our opinions so I don't really think anyone here is judging...or maybe they are. But she asked for our honest opinion.

As for the lady who supposedly "judged" her. I don't think that lady was wrong at all. When you walk out of a store and see a bunch of preschoolers unattended....that just doesn't look right to "most" people.

I once pulled into a parking space and when I got out of my car saw a little boy sleeping on the back seat of the car. Windows rolled up tight and his face covered in sweat beads. I called the police. I live in Florida and I can't tell you how many people have left children in cars and they die tragically. I did my civic duty that day. Now maybe the mom just ran into the store for a quick second and she thought it would be okay, (which is against the law btw...it's against the law to leave your dog in the car) or she could have gone shopping. Which is exactly what she was doing....shopping in a clothing store! EMT came, 2 police and the woman was in the store for another 15 minutes while EMT & police where there checking out her son. She had no idea. She also btw had a 2 year old that she had taken in the store with her. Guess she didn't want to wake up her son and thought it was okay to leave him to sleep in the car!

Anyway, I think sometimes judging and possibly intervening when necessary on the choices other people make with their children is just the right thing to do.


Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

"Anyway, I think sometimes judging and possibly intervening when necessary on the choices other people make with their children is just the right thing to do."

EXACTLY.

The people who are defending leaving the kids alone have two arguments:

- the grandma should not have judged and intervened
AND
- if someone sees a suspicious person trying to walk away with a child, they should... (wait for it) JUDGE & INTERVENE

So which is it? Should people intervene or not? And how do people know that they should?

I'm going to do a blog post tonight on my brushes with perverts. Only family and friends know this, but I've been sexually assaulted and was able to fend off two attackers, in public places, and the police weren't able to do anything either time. I have also been sexually harassed and stalked at age 18 by a 50-year-old man who I worked with at the Parks Department. It's too long to go into here, but I'll cover the gorey details on my site.

I think most people have NO IDEA how many whackos are out there. After what I'd been through, I took a real interest in criminal psychology/abnormal psych (as well as self-defense, LOL). Just because a child isn't kidnapped every day doesn't mean your kid CAN'T BE tomorrow or molested or touched inappropriately, OR that those people aren't watching you from a distance. Take care with the kids! That's all I'm sayin'.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

So here is what I ran into at the store a few hours ago...I was walking by the handicapped section of the parking lot and headed for the entrance to the grocery store when I heard "Hello there! Hello! Hi!". I didn't look at first but kept hearing it so I finally spun around. There were three girls inside a van, the oldest was maybe 8 tops, and they were playing with the power windows, hanging out the windows and waving to me. There was no adult in sight and the motor was running. I am assuming the calling out to other shoppers part was not okay with the parent, wherever they were, but obviously the parent left the car running with 3 untethered kids inside. Scary!

Allison

Mom to:
Madeline 09/2001
Jack, Evan & ^Alex^ 03/02/2008 @ 26 weeks

That is scary. That is illegal in my state and I would have dialed 911.

Ok. I'm feeling a bit bad here. My girls are almost 10 and almost 7. I admit when it has been pouring raining I have left them in the entry way of the grocery store with the cart before. I don't do it often. The time it would take for me to get all 4 girls in the van, unload the groceries and get in myself I would have been beyond soaked. It's has only happened when one of the kiddos is sick and I didn't want them to get wet in the rain. I figure the girls are old enough now. I didn't leave them on the sidewalk but rather in the view of the cashiers and baggers in the store. One time I actually got someone at customer service to stand with my girls. Two of them had strep and I didn't want them out in the rain.

Perhaps next time Megan you could have someone at Sam's watch your girls for you. The managers are only to happy to help with that many kids. They don't want anything to happen at their store.

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVF

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

You shouldn't feel bad. I think almost 10 and 7 are appropriate ages to leave your girls for a minute while you get your car, especially because your 10 years old is there to watch your 7 year olds.

My dds are 12, 10, and almost 9, and I would leave my 9 year olds. Now when they were 5, different story.

Also, IMO I think it's good judgment to ask customer service to watch your kids for that 1 minute or so.

Gloria

I agree that your children are absolutely old enough.

I take back everything I said anyway. I took mine to Sam's Club, my husband's store, and they were hugging the card checker, and almost ran right into the bakery. The lady CAME OUT of the bakery to hug my kids. I guess my husband has them there more than I knew?

I'm going to start dropping them off for daycare there.

Michele

Mom to Sarah, Gregory, Amanda

And our little miracle Austin

wwww.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

My oldest will be nine next month and the trips seven, and I have never left them like this nor have I left them in a car while I ran into a store. I am 99.9% sure that my kids would obey . . . unless something interesting came along!
Ali
Jack, 8 1/2
Abraham, Dylan and Zane 6 1/2
and now . . . . Tobias, new last June!