I am going thru one of my frustrating phases with my picky eaters. I seem to go back and forth b/w the mindset of " I do not want to make food a big issue - at least they eat generally healthy " and "I am tired of catering to various appetites and feel like I am doing them a disservice by not engaging them in more food choices". Deep down I feel horribly guilty b/c I did not start out right away with lots of things - dh worked a lot when they were starting table food - and I am a picky eater! UGH.

So now meals are so limited and when I make something, I often make it plain for them and myself, add garlic and onions for dh and have to have bread, applesauce, carrots and maybe cottage cheese at every meal (though ds will not eat cott.chs without melon!) I am concerned about Seamus esp as he is the pickiest and eats very little protein. Part of me says - just serve dinner and if he does not like it, he can wait for breakfast. But is that fair to start now when I have not done that before? And is it worth the tears that will come? He is also very stubborn so he may just dig his heals in. I do not know what to do. I do believe that we have various taste buds and some are more sensitive to smells/textures than others - but the limited foods he is eating is just not ok.

Any suggestions (a magic pill would be appreciated!

TIA
Suzanne
BBB 4/00

Hi Suzanne,

We are right there with you with one ds - very picky and very stubborn. And just very CONSERVATIVE about things. He asks, "Did I eat this when I was a baby?" Here's what we have tried and how they worked:
1. getting books about food and humans' dietary needs and what the various components of foods do for one's body.
Result: Got a bit of a bump up in interest and lots more talking - plenty of crowing about his milk consumption, which has always been good. And about the meat he eats. But still no vegetables and no sauces.

2. force the issue - i.e., make him sit there til he eats it.
Result: Horrible! Lots of crying and unhappiness and no eating. He does without treats easily and WILL NOT EAT IT.

3. involve him is food prep.
Result: This works a bit, and we should do it more, but it takes time and involves close supervision.

4. involve him in food in other ways - gardening, shopping for food. Results: Gives some uptick in interest, again makes things take longer to do.

5. nothing. Make sure there is something he will eat at each dinner (pasta, rice, or bread, and fruit, and a 'dry' (no sauce) meat.
Result: Fine. This is what he would like to happen, and it is what has been happening for five years now. We don't see a whole lot of widening of his food choices taking place naturally.

5. have someone else feed him.
Result: Actually this one worked best. We used to have au pairs and all the major breakthroughs - crepes, chicken, some cookies - happened between the au pair and ds. I would come home to discover that he was eating something new. Somehow the au pair had cajoled him into trying something. I'd love to get him to eat school lunch to achieve a similar effect now, but no go.

It is like he is actually afraid to try things. He has eczema a tiny bit now and had more when he was a baby so maybe he has allergies. He went to the allergist but we did not get any 'take aways' from the visit, except that he had no severe food allergies (which we already knew). But maybe he thinks new foods might make him itch or something. Anyways he is extremely cautious about food.

So, these have been our experiences. Sorry I don't have a real positive suggestion. You might have better luck with some of them than we have had so far. I'm interested to hear of other people's advice and experiences.

Best wishes.

Nancy

mom to beautiful BBG triplets, born February 2002 at 33 wks, 4 days

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I don't really "belong" on this board because my kids are only 5, but I thougt I would offer my thoughts.

3 of my 4 are picky eaters. It drives me crazy!!! I have spent many meals in tears because I can't take the complaining. Here is what we decided to do.

You eat what is served! If you choose not to eat what is served, you will eat it for breakfast. If you choose not to eat it for breakfast, you will have it for lunch! After that, they are served the dinner we are eating. I have only had to do this about 4 times TOTAL. The only thing they have to do is eat 2 bites of everything on their plates, and then they can move onto something else. I try to always serve something they will eat, and therefore they can fill up on that, but they must eat "a little of everything" first. My husbands aunt suggested this to me, and so did another mom friend I have. Their children will eat ANYTHING, including sushi! My kids are not there yet, but they are getting so much better!! HTH

PS...We didn't start doing this until they were 4

Dawn

Mom to Samantha, Jeremy, Paige and Christian

Born 12/12/03 @ 31w 2d



http://lovinglifewithquads.blogspot.com

Nancy and Dawn

Thanks for the input and support. It helps to know I am not the only one going thru this! I too am amazed at some friends kids who eat anything - that would be phenomenal! I will try both of your suggestions and see how we do.

I actually talked with the boys tonight at dinner and told them that this is something we need to address after the new year (do not want to be stressed about it over the holidays). I also asked them to consider what they think might help - dh suggested a weekly experiment night where we try something new and different - Brendan suggested Chinese as some of his friends have talked about a chinese restaurant they love! They were all open to the fact that they do need to eat more variety and be a bit more flexible. Let's see how they feel when they actually have to put it in their mouths!

Thanks
Suzanne

I have my kids try everything on their plate (two bite rule). I always make one thing I know they will eat. This has been very successful for us as they will try just about anything now.

Diane
mom to
g 8/98
bgb 3/03

I thankfully do not have any picky eaters and my kids have been exposed to all sorts of foods. I have never been one to cook "kid meals" on a reg. basis. They have always eaten whatever I cook big people meals, and no separate meals for anyone. I don't know if I am just lucky or if they eat well because of my approach.

I do involve the kids in meal planning and meal preparation, we rotate "kid of the day" gets to help me cook dinner. They also get to plate their own food sometimes and they always seem to eat better when they have this option.

To get them to try new foods all the time, I have the 2-3 bite rule. I would never force a kid to "clean the plate" (I was forced to do this and I am pretty scarred for life from that experience and also fought an eating disorder well into my 20's).

The 2 or 3 bite rule just means they have to try everything on their plate 2 or 3 bites worth. Often it turns out what they thought my be gross is super yummy and the eat it all. And if they do not like it, anyone can get through a few bites to make mom happy.

We do desert everynight, fequently a fruit, sometimes a yummy treat - to qualify they must finish the protein and veggie portions of the meal. There are no exceptions, if they claim to be too full to finish those items, I remind them that they are too full to eat a treat too.

My kids favorite food is sushi and they can all use chopsticks (without the bands). Go figure - it cracks me up!

~Dionne
Mommy to Jessica, Alexa & William 02/20/02 31w6d

In preschool snack time all the kids had to take what they called a "no thank you" bite ~ to at least taste it and try it. And then if they did not like it all they had to do was say "no thank you." I also used it at home and still do ~ it works ~ at least they try everything and at times suprise themselves on what really does taste good.


~Chris
Bradley, Erica and Adam (9-2-01)

Here's an interesting article by a nutritionist about her struggles with her own child about food.
link: http://www.grist.org/feature/2007/09/27/teen_diet/

Also mentioned is a book called "Chew on This", probably for older chilren about why eat clean, healthy food instead of chemically junk.

Nancy

mom to beautiful BBG triplets, born February 2002 at 33 wks, 4 days

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The whole 'No-Thank-You helpings', or 'one-bite' or 'two-bite' rule idea just has not worked for us because the picky child WILL NOT EAT the single bite. No matter what the threat or punishment - he just won;t put the stuff in his mouth. Surely we must not cram the food into his clenched teeth? And we cannot SIT there at the table til all hours. Do you do this?

Nancy

mom to beautiful BBG triplets, born February 2002 at 33 wks, 4 days

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You may want to try some of the ideas that they use on children who are insanely picky eaters...usually due to another issue such as Autisim or oral aversion eaters. Mainly it was to desensitize them to the food.

The plan went like this
First few days the plate with the new food was just set on the table and nothing was said. At the end of the meal, mom or sitter says...if you don't want this I will eat it...and they watch mom eat the food
A progression follows of naming the food, describing the food, sniffing the food, touching the food, putting the food on their plate...don't have to eat it, and then licking the food and finally one bite of food (usually by this time the child has done that on their own)
As soon as one food is accepted on their plate, another food appears and starts the progession.

During each stage they are asked to do things like describe the food, make up a story about the food, think of someone else who would eat the food (besides mom and dad) Etc.

From what I saw, it seems to take a while with the first few foods, but after that, they know the routine and start to speed up.

There is also something called food chaining...sort of like, if you like mac and cheese, you try rotini and cheese, then rotini and cheese and chicken, then rotini and chicken and cheese and another sauce....I am less versed on that one.

Hopefully one of these methods will give you some ideas to try.

Susan

Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07




http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message

  

Thanks so much for the feedback - some very good suggestions. I am envious Dionne - would love for my kids to eat so many different foods. Will try to involve them in food prep more and choosing meals also.

The suggestions re sensitivity are interesting. My son generally does not have sensitivity issues but I wonder if he does with food. A while ago we talked about how he needs to eat more protien - he tried peanut butter and wanted so bad to like it, but gagged trying to swallow it. He was very upset and said "mom - I am trying to like it..". UGH!

Thanks
Suzanne
BBB 4/00