I am lucky enough to have been invited by my professors to prepare a proposal for the National Association for the Education of Young Children National Conference in Florida, next November. If my proposal is accepted and I become a speaker my university will pay for my whole trip. I'm very excited and honored, of course!

As a mom of triplets and a future teacher (I'm FINALLY a senior!), I would like to focus my proposal on the topic of multiples in the classroom. Focusing on keeping them together versus separation. Also, on things that parents want their teachers to know. I'll be certified to teach birth-6th grade with certificates in special education and autism. This conference focuses on the Birth- 3rd grade aspect of education. I would love it if you can give my some of your opinions and feelings on the topic to present as the parents side of the topic. If any of you are interested, I will be working on surveys to answer. I would greatly appreciate any help I can get.
Thank you for your time!

Becca Pingel

*I have posted this on several forums to get a wide response

Check us out at...thepingels.com

Becca~

Congratulations on your exciting career! There's nothing more enjoyable or rewarding than being a teacher, IMHO.

Be sure to search the archives and print off the info you'll find regarding your topic. You will get a lot of valuable points of view for your proposal.

I can only speak from our own experience and what has been working for us. We were lucky enough to find a school with multi-age classrooms and an emphasis on individual continual progress. Not the traditional classroom.

My DDs can be at different ability levels academically, but still be together in their classroom, which has worked out beautifully because they like being together and working at their own pace.

Having shared that, I can see both dynamics being beneficial to multiples. Separated or together. They both have their pros and cons.

Good luck with your research.

Lisa

What a great topic. A twin mom and I were just talking the other day about the possibility of having an inservice for teachers talking about the special issues that multiples bring up in a school--whether they are in the same classroom or not. When I helped at kindergarten roundup there were at least 5 sets of mult's starting kindy this year in our school.
There are just so many things that a teacher doesn't think about when it comes to multiples in the classroom. My poor daughter spent all of last year at the end of the line while her sister was the first person in the line order. Talk about feeling like the less favorite triplet. She asked to be in a class by herself this year and that's what we did. Her brother and sister are in a class together.

Would love to help anyway I can.


Andi
gbg triplets in 1st grade

I think there are pros and cons to both seperating and not seperating.
My boys were together in Kindergarten and seperated in 1st grade. Both have worked very well.
My issue is with the teachers, principals and other school associates who assume its best to seperate them without knowing the kids or family. They automatically seperate in our school district. Our school did work with us eventually but it was challenging to get to that point. I just thinks it wrong to make assumptions like that.
Good Luck

Liz
Mom to
Cole and Troy Feb/2004 28weeks
^Clay^ Dec/2003 20 weeks

WOW good for you!!!!

I have had problems with teachers from the beginging. First they think they know more about my kids then I do. In pre-school my DD was told to play with other kids rather then her brothers, they also had me in a panic saying that she is going to have problems getting along with other kids. Guess what, she gets along with all kids (as long as they are nice to her) she has no problems. She also remembers them telling her to play with other kids.

With them in grade school we were told to seperate them which we have and every year I say I want them all together. Why? First, homework will all be the same, second I can work better helping one class then 3, third, the money we spend on things for classes is getting out of control. It's the same thing when best friends are in the same class together year after year. Oh and with my DS all of my DS Tyler's friends are in Zackary's class so of coarse they all hang out with Zackary can I tell you how hard it was to explain that to Tyler. He was crushed.

Good luck to you, stick up for us Moms

Donna Proud Mom to Tyler, Samantha, Zackary soon to be 8 years old!!!

Mine are still together in 2nd grade with no real plans to split. We ask their teachers each year if they think there is an academic or a social need to split them, but so far there hasn't been. Ours are in a small school and would have to be split 2 and 1, and I am not sure how I would do that. Plus, not all teachers are created equal, and who do I choose to have the crappy teacher? (Some grades do have three sections of great teachers, but from here on out there are only 2.)
I'd be happy to fill out a survey if you need that.
Ali
Jack - 9 years
Abraham, Dylan and Zane - 7 years
and now . . . . Tobias, one year old!

HI. Always glad to help someone get to a Florida conference in November!!! (I'm freezing in Ohio, here).

We are in third grade, so I can comment on preschool - 3rd grade. We have triplets and a singleton who is 8 months older. So sort of like quads, but not really. The triplets are my biological children, so super-super close, and my singleton is adopted and likes to be more independent and big brother like.

Preschool -- all were together -- because only one class. NO problems at all. They did great and even entered K as young 5s.

Kindergarten - we separated them all into 4 different classes. This break was really hard on the triplets at first. But they got used to it. Worst part was trying to divide myself into 4 for open house, conferences, and homework. Plus - they really enjoyed having their own story to share at the end of the day.

First grade - 2 and 2, so we'd only have 2 teachers to work with. This is what we have done for 1st-3rd grade - it's great. We decided to always mix up the teams. So 1st grade had Nick (singleton) and Vin together in one class and Blaise and Noelle in another class (both triplets).

2nd grade was a little rough only because we placed Vin and Blaise together. They are triplet brothers, share a bedroom, on the same hockey team, etc. So that was too much together for them.

3rd grade -- this year is the best! WE have Blaise (the most immature and wildest) placed with big brother Nick (singleton) in the same class. Wow -- Blaise is working hard and Nick is keeping an eye on him. Noelle and Vin are together and LOVING it. They are the closest of my 4 children.


So ... my conclusion, is just to share each sibling. We will continue to mix it up 2 and 2. I'm thinking by 6th grade, we'll separate them all again, because they will be able to manage their own homework. That is a very, very big concern as in our familiy my husband travels a lot for work, so I'm often the only parent helping with homework. And we do lots of review, flashcards, writing and reading besides their homework. So it can feel like a burden at times.

Our school system has always honored my requests and given me the teachers I've chosen, so we are quite lucky. We are also an International Bacculaurate district (public school), so it's a great school system with open minded leadership.

Good luck to you!

Peggi
<

Thank you ladies!! I appreciate all of your responses! Sorry I've been MIA, 3 sick 4 year olds, I'm sure you remember the fun of that!

I'm just now compiling surveys and will be looking forward to hearing from you all some more! One of my profs has a grad-assistant that did her thesis on this subject so I have lots of info, but I LOVE to go to the "trenches" to speak to my MOMs! We are lucky in that we are able to send our girls to a private, part-time pre-school. They go 2 days a week for 1/2 days and then next year will go 3 days a week for 1/2 days. They are together and doing just fine. We plan on keeping them together in K. I'm lucky to have a wonderful triplet mom who has 4th graders and pushed our principal to give togetherness a try, it has worked well for them. There is also a set of BBB that are identical and they have been separated every year. So I'm lucky to have administrators that are understanding. I will be on here with more questions as this proposal comes together.

I especially want to know what you wish the teachers to know. What the great teachers have done to make it a great experience, and what the crummy ones have done to make it a crummy year for you.


Thank you!

Becca

Check us out at...thepingels.com

I have fraternal twin boys in the 3rd grade and triplets with identical girls and a boy in the 1st grade. Each multiple set were all together in preschool and have been separate in elementary school. We have several twins in our school and one other set of triplets that are the same age as my trio. Our school is nice in that they allow parents to choose to separate or not, but I can tell they love it when parents choose to separate.

I am sure my opinion is unpopular; however, I think that when problems occur it is usually due to the parental attitude more than the children's ability to adapt. If parents are unhappy with the choice, then the kids will know it. If the parents have made a huge deal about their multiple uniqueness for their first 5 years of life, the kids will also. My kids do not think of themselves in terms of their multipleness. It took them years to even understand why people made such a fuss over them.

Is it always easy having 5 teachers? No, but my goal is to raise 5 independent, free-thinking, healthy adults. I rotate being room mom. I have rotated class parties. Meet the Teacher night and Open House is crazy. Is it the easiest path for me? No, but I think it will make the adjustments to middle school so much easier. Middle School is scary enough without also having to learn to be without your "multiple". I see elementary school as laying the educational groundwork and getting the bumps out (figuring out learning differences, etc.) to move on to middle school.

Cindy
Paul and Andrew
Kristen, Rachel and Michael

I haven't been on TC for ages; but thought I'd take a few minutes to drop in and see what's going on. We chose to separate our triplets when they began K. We have two identical and one fraternal and we've always tried to focus on them as individuals at school. They've always tested in the same math levels so they end up in the same math class each year. And while we encouraged separation, we've stressed to the school that their academic assessments should determine their placement for math, reading, etc, They each like having their own teacher, their own classmates, and yet they also get the opportunity to share a class. The trade-offs I think mostly regarding the effort, time management, dealing with multiple teachers, homework, more party invitations, managing playdates, etc. are in my opinion mostly an issue for us as parents to juggle with. We encourage family cohesiveness, yet we believe each child needs to build her independence also. In either case of separation or not, I would say some of the things I want teachers to know:
1.) Please don't set the example of calling my children "the triplets" instead of by their individual names, because if you do, their classmates will follow your example.
2.)Please understand that I have to spread myself with three children at class parties, field trips, conferences, so I appreciate when all the teachers work as a team and help accomodate my taking turns with my kids school activities...thank you.
3.) Please avoid comparing my children to each other just as you would typically avoid comparing classmates to one another.
4.) If my children are in class together, I think it is a good thing to separate them in smaller work groups, but give them opportunities to work together sometimes.
5.) I don't control what my children wear to school each day, usually they dress very differently, but on occasion they may wear similar clothing or colors which may get confusing, but you'll learn to tell them apart.
6.) Given the opportunity, they may rely on each other more than they should or you would like in the class, encourage them to act independently, but don't force them apart any more than you would any two other classmates.
7.)They are used to taking care and looking out for one another, so when something impacts one adversely it may be stressful for the others.
8.) Please find opportunities for each one to shine on her own.
9.) Sing Happy Birthday to each child individually and give her a moment in the spotlight.
10.) As much as we as parents and you as teachers try to avoid comparisons, the children are always comparing themselves to one another. We try to encourage them to recognize each other's strengths and be proud of each other.
11.) If one goes to the health office not feeling well, there's a good chance that another may be next. It may be hard to distinguish between a real illness brewing and "sympathetic" pains.
12.) If it's okay with you, I prefer to "mass" email all the teachers when a discussion topic or notice involves more than one of my children, otherwise I'll address individual issues with individual teachers.
13.) If my kids are in separate classes, I'd appreciate if each teacher would learn to distinguish all of them as they would other students in the grade. Don't ask them "Which of the other ones are you?"
14.) My children have had to share alot all their lives, they are good at it and good at compromising. Please don't ask them to do so more than other children who have not learned these social skills as well.
15.) You are very special to each of my children and they each want to have your individual attention as much as other students do.
16.) Thank YOU!

I hope this is helpful.
Li
Mom to Dana,Valerie & Madeline - 8 years, and Carly - almost 4