I am hoping you all can give me some advice on how to handle stealing in my 6yo BBB.

We go to an indoor waterpark every Friday. My boys are great swimmers and have freedom to go to the different areas as they wish. There is a small arcade that I prefer they don't go to, but they have never had money for any of the games. They just sit on them and pretend. The waterpark is a safe and contained environment and we have been there frequently for several years.

On Friday we went and my DH left to take our older son to his BBall game. I was walking around to the different areas. At one point I found the little boys in the arcade and they asked me for money. I told them no and to head back to the swimming area. I had seen the boys gathered around our table a few different times, but there was a pizza and I just thought they were eating.

When I got back to our table, I saw that my wallet was out of my purse and left wide open on top. My purse had been zipped closed at the bottom of a stuffed beach bag and under two other stuffed beach bags. All of my cash was gone ($40=a $20, a $10, a $5 and some ones). I suddenly realized that when I had found the boys in the arcade they had actually been playing the games, not just the demos. They had fed all of the bills into the machines in a few seconds, not realizing that a big bill gave them more than one game-88 games on one machine to be exact!

I put the boys against the wall until my DH came back, and found out the details of what happened. We have taken away TV, the Wii, and their Leapsters, as well as had them grounded since then. Yesterday we took them out to the County Dentention Center and had a police officer in uniform talk to them about the crime of stealing, etc. I wish we had done it right away the first night as I think it would have been more effective. I consider this a very serious thing as it means I cannot trust them.

It is really hard to take advice from my mom and sister who don't have triplets. My sister totally blames me, saying I should have been supervising them more closely. I have to be able to trust my own kids will not steal from my wallet! My mom is going way over the top with corporal punishment; make them sit in time-out for days, etc.

All I wanted was to have a fun weekend with my family. I work three different jobs and only have two weekends (four days total) off per month. We had planned an awesome weekend, and now instead I have to be mean tough-love mommy instead. This just sucks!

This morning they went into my older son's room and took his Nintendo when they know they are not supposed to touch it. Now they have been in time-out ever since.

Obviously they are testing boundaries and limits with us. What is too much? What is over the top? How long shoud they be punished? Someone suggested they work off the $40, but this is way harder than it sounds with 3 6yos.

What would you do? I really appreciate any kind advice..

Thanks,
Cynthia
B 7/99
BBB 8/04

Cyn~

Sorry you're dealing with this, but I have to be honest; I think you did everything right in punishing them. And the detention center? That's just brilliant! You took time out of your busy lives to do that!?! That says a lot about you as a caring parent.

I'm not making excuses, but they're 6 years old. Maybe this is the age when they learn about the seriousness of stealing, KWIM?

Sometimes, we think kids should automatically know the obvious, but they're kids. Every day is a teachable moment.

There's not a day that goes by that I'm not giving a lecture, a speech, a reminder or a moral to a story.

Kinda off topic, but we went to birthday party this weekend. They had a magician who was totally entertaining. Kids were cracking up. They were teasing each other during the show. A great time.

So, when a kid decided to unplug his speaker system, she didn't understand why he went berserk on her. In her mind, they had this silly banter throughout his entire show and thought her little joke would be funny to him. But, she was heartbroken when he over the top scolded her.

I tell you that story because I think kids don't "get it" when we think they should, KWIM?

I think you've done everything to reprimand and show them the seriousness of their crime.

Keep on talking and getting your points across. They'll understand. I think you handled it very well and I'd be totally surprised if you ever had to deal with them stealing again.

Lisa

I don't envy your situation. I do think you handled it very well. Maybe the next weekend you have off, you should spend some quality time with their older brother and let them stay home and work with dad (wouldn't it be nice to get some chores done) Let them know that if they can't be trusted, they can't do fun stuff with you.

Of course, maybe they've sufferred enough by then too. Guess you'd just have to decide this. But my 3 do know that if they misbehave they don't get to do the fun stuff for a while.

Andi
g/b/g
7 yr olds in 1st gr.