I'm ready to tell the teachers, but I've been trying to go the "empower route" with my DD.

Nearly every day, she shares with me that a little boy in her class makes comments about her hair! He'll say things like: It's messy. Or: Your hair is crazy.

It's nuts! And her hair is pretty! LOL! I just don't want her to get some stupid complex from this stupid talk! And it's not like she's devastated; more than anything, it's just annoying.

So, the latest one was: Your bangs look like Frankenstein.

OK. That's it! I've had it with this kid. Apparently, all of my empowerment talk isn't working.

Is it time to mention something to the teachers? Or do I keep downplaying it?

I would have your dd tell her teacher. It will help her to be in control of her problem. My ds Zackary had a bully problem in 1st grade, we went over and over with him that if anyone makes him feel bad to tell the teacher, now in 2nd grade he takes care of himself.
Just don't let anyone say "kids will be kids" I hate that saying, in school they should learn how to get along with one another.

Good Luck

No doubt! I hate that "kids will be kids" excuse. I agree.

That's a good idea; I'll tell DD to quietly tell her teacher and make her understand it's not tattling because it's being an ongoing thing.

And in the grand scheme of things, a bratty kid telling your kid her hair is messy, isn't a big deal, but it's just enough to be a little mean.

Thanks for your thoughts!

Lisa

Ugh! Kids can be so mean. The teacher definitely needs to know that this is going on. Girls have enough self-esteem issues without some kid telling them every day that they look funny. My own daughter is finally getting over the little boy from last schoolyear who told her she was fat/hippy. Yes, she is big (tall) for her age but I wouldn't consider her fat. For months she was very concerned about how her clothes made her look -- very sad for that to happen in 1st grade!

If it were me, I think I might e-mail the teacher myself. Meanwhile I would let DD know that the kid isn't worth listening to--downplay it to her, but make sure her teacher knows it needs to stop.

Andi
g/b/g
triplets in 1st grade

My kiddos have had some issues with their glasses (being made fun of, having them snatched off, etc.).

To rude talk, I have them reply in a similar manner to how they have heard me responding to fertility questions their whole lives "wow - what a rude thing to say! I'm not playing with you for the rest of the day!" And they sometimes add "Too bad your manners are so bad - you won't have any friends left if you keep that up!" And NONE of my kids will play with that kid for the rest of the day. And since my kids make up 1/4 of the class, it has been effective thus far. The other kids usually flock to my kids rather than the bully (as everyone in the class has been his victim at some point), which means the bully is ostracized by everyone. Unfortunately, he's not the brightest kid, so he has to re-test them at least once a week to see if they have forgotten how to deal with him.

To ANYONE who touches them (or their glasses), I have instructed my children to firmly swat their hands away. They are not to initiate, or hit in any way other than to get the other person's hands off of them, but they know clearly that I will back them up as needed in this. And since they aren't going to public school next year, they won't get expelled for defending their bodies. I don't know what I'd do if they were going - our school has a "zero tolerance" policy than in effect means you can't defend yourself.

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

Zero tolerance is really a joke. I remember them initiating that about drugs when I was in HS. Some of the moms just told their daughters not to get caught taking midol at that special time of the month.
I made the mistake of asking the nurse for Tylenol once and got a lecture about using it too much. I had been very ill and was still recovering.
Our school has zero tolerance for playing guns. Very sad since some kids have relatives fighting overseas right now. How are they supposed to process daddy being a soldier when even pretending to have a gun is off-limits.
Of course, I guess I wouldn't want some bully pretending to shoot my kid in a mean way.

Andi

>Zero tolerance is really a joke. I remember them initiating
>that about drugs when I was in HS. Some of the moms just told
>their daughters not to get caught taking midol at that special
>time of the month.
>I made the mistake of asking the nurse for Tylenol once and
>got a lecture about using it too much. I had been very ill
>and was still recovering.
>Our school has zero tolerance for playing guns. Very sad
>since some kids have relatives fighting overseas right now.
>How are they supposed to process daddy being a soldier when
>even pretending to have a gun is off-limits.
>Of course, I guess I wouldn't want some bully pretending to
>shoot my kid in a mean way.
>
>Andi


Here, what I hear everyone complaining about is zero tolerance with regards to touching anyone else. At all. I have a friend with triplets who hugged each other before (happily) going with their separate examiners for kindergarten registration. The mom was warned that hugging is not appropriate on school grounds and that they have a zero tolerance policy. They "let it go" since the kids weren't officially enrolled yet.

It is meant for fighting / hitting / pushing / shoving, but when 4 year olds get in trouble for hugging their sibling before they separate for a somewhat stressful process, something is wrong with the system!

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06