This is really stupid, but I am so frustrated. I have 2 teachers to deal with this year in first grade and even though they are both good teachers, I am so frustrated! One of the teachers is very parent friendly. She loves having parents involved and asks for help and volunteers all the time. She invites parents to participate in things. For a parent like me, it is wonderful because I love to be involved with them.

The other teacher has only been a teacher for 3 years, and it seems she is afraid of parents. She is young, which is something I actually like, but she doesn't like to have parents around. I have told her sooooo many times that I am happy to help or volunteer ANYTIME she needs someone. I am also a sub, so I am in the school all the time. For their Christmas party, she said she "didn't need" any help...but then I found out she had her mother come in and help and that is the way it is all the time. Any time a teacher would have parents come in, she has her mother in there...I miss out on cool things with my kids.

So the latest frustration happened today. The kids in 1st grade have started to read a book (which is actually a series) about Flat Stanley. One of the teachers asks the parents for addresses of family and friends and then she sent Flat Stanley to them for an adventure and when the adventure is over, they send it back. The other teacher has been telling the kids they are going to do the same thing. Only SHE is picking the addresses and SHE is sending it to HER FRIENDS. It takes some of the fun out it for the kids, it's not personal to them. They are so disappointed because they really wanted to send it to specific people.

Anyway, vent over. Thanks for listening.

Dawn

Mom to Samantha, Jeremy, Paige and Christian

Born 12/12/03 @ 31w 2d



http://lovinglifewithquads.blogspot.com

It sounds like one teacher is very insecure and/or very controlling. Not sure that there is much you can do except to hope that your kids won't have her again. You could bring it up to the principal, so that the administration is aware of the situation and maybe can work with her. While some parents won't care, the involved parents will and those are usually the ones that are invaluable to the school. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, maybe a casual e-mail that it has come to your attention that the teacher really doesn't foster parent involvement and that it doesn't create a warm and friendly class community. She might benefit greatly from an older, experienced mentor.
Good luck
Petra
DS 08/02
DD 05/04
BBG 05/09 32.1 weeks

I was an art teacher,so that is different than a classroom teacher since I didn't have the same kids all the time. I can say though, in my 10 years as a teacher, I never liked having parents volunteer to help me in the art room. I wasn't controlling but it was hard to have to explain what to do for every project. Also, having a parent in the classroom made me uncomfortable, like I was being watched.

Seeing that she has only been a teacher for 3 years, it may be an the "newbie thing." She wants to see if she can do it on her own and then maybe change things up when she feels comfortable. Your kids will only have her this year right? And the school year is almost over anyways so I would leave it alone. As for Flat Stanley, why not do it her way and your way as an extra project for the kids so they can send him to whomever they want?

I kind of liek that she wants her mom in her classroom. I never minded when my mom came in ( not often since we lived in AZ at the time and she was in PA). The kids got a kick out of it too.

I know you were just venting. Teachers can be aggrivating. I was one and I SO disliked dealign with parents

Suzan

g/g/b August 21, 2005
my miracle 24 weekers!!!!

I have had my twins and triplets split up since they started school. So I juggle 5 teachers every year. Each teacher is going to have their own way of doing things. Yes, sometmes a child is going to be disappointed, but it isn't a big deal in the big picture. I have found that they forget it quickly. Unless it is truly impacting your child and their learning, I would not go to the principal about the teacher. Any good principal is going to allow their teachers some freedom in the classroom and back up their teacher.

I get you are frustrated. I help in the school. I am room mom for one class each year, I chaperone field trips and help with special events. However, I have never understood why some parents feel the need to be in the school every day. Let her run her classroom. I can't imagine trying to please 18-20 parents all year long.

Cindy
Paul and Andrew
Kristen, Rachel and Michael

Yeah. I have to admit that I'm that teacher too. I'm just not a big parent volunteer in the classroom teacher. Not because I don't love the parents and see the value. It's just a few different reasons. One is that parent volunteers are A LOT of work. I know it seems like having an extra set of hands would make things easier, but that's not the case. It usually means that I have to plan an activity, set up a station, explain the directions, set up a rotation of kids, and still monitor those kids from across the room while still doing the rest of my job. Also a parent in the room can quickly change the dynamics of the room. Kids tend to get a little more energetic and silly and it's tough to discipline with a parent right there.

HOWEVER that being said you and your child definitely deserve those experience too (which is why I usually suck it up and go out of my comfort zone). Here are a couple of things that really help me when parents ask:

1. Too often parents simply say, "I'd like to volunteer" which places all the work on me. However I LOVE when a parent has a specific idea. Like an art project they want to do with the kids that the parent plans and sets up for. Or this year we have a dad that loves math and he asked if he could work with a small group of our advanced math kids once a week. He does all the plans. We just had to create the group and give him a time. It's fabulous! I've had parents want to read with small groups. Now would be the perfect time for a spring project.


2. If she's a little shy and maybe feeling like she's being watched, thinking of an idea that keeps you out of the room might be more welcomed. That sounds weird. Like no parents in the room!!! I don't mean it that way. But if there is a project/activity that you can do in a common space in the hall or the library, it is soooo nice to have less kids in the classroom and less pressure on the teacher.

Just an idea.

PS - as for the Flat Stanley. I kind of liked her way and may try that in the future. But then again I teach in an area where it is really hard for kids to think of friends and family outside of our area. And the kids who don't have people out of state feel so bad when their own comes back from 2 blocks down the road. Also I have had so many tears from kids who never get theirs back. That might be her reasoning too.

Jennifer
GBG 2/20/2007
@29 weeks

Our Flat Stanley experience:

My quads are 2x2 in class. Last year one teacher did Flat Stanley, the other didn't.

One kid sends hers to Aunt/Uncle in DC area. The other sent hers to grandparents in CA. I subtly tried to convince her to send him to GA with another Aunt/Uncle.

DC Stanley toured the mall and had a GRAND time. He even sent internet pages of each of the site he saw. BIL was the official Stanley holder and Sister was the photographer. They got comments all day when people walked by and saw Stanley. It was a fun day for Aunt/Uncle and they LOVED doing it.

CA STanley didn't do ANYTHING. My mom has a hard time doing anything extra. Not because she has physical limitations. She didn't even send a letter back.

I had a disappointed girl and one so excited that the keeps all those papers and gets them out now and then.

The 2 who didn't do the project were kind of bummed, but OK. We just talk about teachers having thier own way of doing things and try to point out something fun the other one did.

Volunteers- I've both kinds of teachers. Some want parents to work with students and some just want photocopies made. I LOVE reading with the kids or testing them sight words, etc. But mostly I spend my hour in the work room fighting the copy machine. Figure the time I spend doing that frees up the teacher to be more creative in the classroom.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d