Just wanted to see how all of you deal with competition between your multiples. My three are very differently skilled. My son is very good at building things, puzzles, hands on sorts of things. DD2 is very good at feelings...like knowing how others are feeling, taking care of someone who got hurt or feels ill, loves animals, has a kind heart. DD1 is very much the perfectionist and seems to be very good at whatever she tries....granted, if she isn't good at something she just stops doing it or practices until she can do it well. She is also doing great at school, reading above grade level and asking for challenge math work.

DD1 makes it very hard for her sister to find anything that she is best at. Yesterday DD2 started piano lesson and brought home part of Mary Had a Little Lamb to practice. Her sister has it down at least as well as she does after having it shown to her last night.
It doesn't bother DD2 yet.

But because I'm afraid of DD1 always coming out on top and I don't want them to be competing, I have decided to have her try violin instead of piano (she has wanted to play violin for a few years now but I wasn't ready for her to start). I'm hoping this will keep peace in the house, but am a bit afraid that even just seeing what DD2 is doing at home DD1 will be able to play piano better than her sister who is having the lessons.

Oh, and their brother now wants to play electric bass. We are thinking maybe guitar first. But need to figure out the girls first before we add any more to the mix. Do they even make smaller guitars?

The joy of multiples just gets more and more....busy.

So, how would/did you handle learning an instrument or whatever with your kids? Am I right to keep them on different instruments? Or do I just let them do the same and deal with one always being better at it?????

Thanks for listening and adding your 2 cents,

Andi
g/b/g
triplets in 2nd grade

I think you should let them do whatever they are good at and interested in. If that means two are interested in piano, that just makes things more simple for you. I don't think it's fair to hold one back to save another's feelings.

Celesta -- yes I agree that you shouldn't hold one back. DD wants to do the violin. The question is do I let all of them try all the instruments or just have the one who is getting lessons do it.

It's not that DD is trying to hurt her sister's feelings but she just seems to catch on to things faster than her siblings, esp. her sister. I keep trying to find something that DD2 really excels at but DD1 seems to do better at everything.

I think 7 is the earliest it is recommended that kids start guitar or drums. Piano & violin earlier, and almost everything else you wait until they have most of their permanent teeth.

I swear I talk about competition ad nauseum around here. My approach thus far has been:

- talking - about being happy for others, not comparing ourselves to others

- celebrating - anytime one has something to celebrate, we have a "party" after dinner (which really just means cupcakes and a moment in the spotlight, but we don't do cupcakes other than that so they are a big treat) - anyone who is happy for the one being celebrated is welcome to attend the party - anyone who is jealous or has a bad attitude is welcome to head it on to bed while the rest of us eat our cupcakes

- we talk about attitudes & effort rather than results. ALL THE TIME. I am so tired of that conversation! "Do your very best, with a smile!" Gag.

- I call them out when they try to upstage each other. This has especially been applicable recently as they are all on the same soccer team. "Mommy, I ran real fast!" Another kid interrupts with "*I* scored a goal!" "J, I'm talking to your sister right now - don't interrupt her to brag. E, I'm so glad you did your very best!" Then I will later talk to J, "I'm glad you scored a goal, but more importantly, I'm proud of the fact that you did your very best the whole time! Next time, please don't interrupt your sister - she did her very best too!"

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

Multiples do seem to be hungry for the spotlight. Mine can't stand me saying good things about one of them without finding something good about the other. Sometimes I do just tell them to get over it (in a few more words). Like this is his moment, let him have it.
I do like the celebration idea.

Andi

To answer your question: yes, they do make smaller guitars, both electric and acoustic. Acoustic ones you can find anywhere (even from Target) and electric ones you can get from any guitar store (like Guitar Center, etc...)

I'm with Celesta. I'd just let them do what they like and address any issues as they arise, meaning lessons or playing instruments at home. Odds are that one will get tired of it sooner than the other, leaving one child to "shine" at that instrument.

We have a bunch of instruments in our house (pianos, drum sets, guitars) and the kids have - on their own - picked which instruments they like best. While Alison picked the drums, the other girls play with them all the time. It doesn't bother Alison one bit.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com