hi
i'm in a bit of a predicament here.

there is a really nice mum at the school who lives nearby. she asked me the other day if sebastian would be interested in coming to their house for a playdate with her son.

i like her son, he is a very interesting little boy, but he does stick out. his mum is very overbearing and babies him quite a lot (still) and he is very timid. sebastian does NOT want to go there for a playdate, nor does he want him to come here. ("he doesn't talk to me!")

i feel like we should go over there once out of courtesy but then again, what about respecting my child's wishes?

anyone been in this situation, and if so, what did you do??
thank you thank you thank you.





tess
mummy to 6yr old ds & the triumverate born 2004

"the days are slow but the years fly by quickly"

Maybe you could go someplace on neutral ground, like a park or mall and invite over a couple more kiddos to come. Then there would be a small group to play with instead of just the two of them.

Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

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I second the park idea - it would be neutral territory. Leaving the kids the option of playing together or on their own.

~Dionne
Mommy to Jessica, Alexa & William 02/20/02 31w6d

I agree with the park idea.

I would not make him go, but I would strongly encourage him to decide to go. What if you turn it around on him and have him think about how sad he would feel if he wanted to have a friend over for a playdate and that friend said that didn't want to come? Maybe if he went, he would be surprised and learn more about the friend and have a good time.

Good luck. You'll have to let us know how it goes...I'm sure we'll all be facing that at some point.

Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com

Tess,

That's a tough one. Haven't had that experience with my trio yet, but it has come up with a couple of my older children. (ages 8 and 10). In both cases, we talked about the 'how would you feel?' angle and did encourage them to go. They ultimately made the decision and it was just for a short while so it worked out fine. I would not have forced them to go however.

That being said, age 6 is still a little young for 'drop and leave them' play dates unless you are really familiar with the family or your sons are very good friends. So you could play that card, i.e, 'Sebastian isn't comfortable with going alone just yet, etc.' I'm sure she could understand that. Then as pp's have suggested, you could offer an alternative sight, even it it is just to take the two boys and your trio to a park for an hour or so.

Good luck. That's always a tricky one, but fortunately it doesn't rear its head too often around here!

Ellyn, the three little Z's(bbb 4/12/02), two littler S's(gb 7/22/04)
and seven other siblings(yes, that's 12!!)

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