Hi - I haven't posted here at TC for years, but I am desperate for some advice. We have recently started to notice some delays in our girls. When they started kindergarten they seemed right on track if not ahead. I have to admit, I have "spoon-fed" them at every moment to try and keep them caught up. Now that they are in school, the gap seems to be getter wider. The report cards just came home and they are now behind, and not on track to be caught up by the end of the year. I've thought of everything from private/charter school where they will get more attention, smaller class size, but that doesn't seem to be a viable option for us.

I also find myself VERY frustrated with their homework. At the pre-school level, most of our "play time" centered around fun education expierences. They loved to learn. Now that I'm trying to get three girls to be quiet and do homework.....it easily turns negative. They do not stay on task weel, and most homework needs to be completed individually. If we do it together, the one little homework page can take an hour or more when it should just take minutes. Now that they are in school, my one-on-one time has to be split 5 ways, and all after school.

We have our 6 year old check up with the Pediatrician next week and I'm wondering what kind of testing for developmental delays I need to ask for??? One of my girls also seems to have some motor delays complicated with being left handed. They are all behind in phoneimic ?sp awareness, reading and math. However, when I ask them questions at home, or have them read, they seem to do much better than how they tested. They are VERY social and this seems to be complicating things as well.

I feel like I'm loosing my mind trying to figure this one out and hopefully some one has been here and has some advice. Thanks so much.

Becky

Mom to 5 Miracles
CJ(13), KC(12)
Alexis, Kiersten & Madilynn (6 years old!) Born at 34 weeks.

when is their birthday and when is the school cut-off date? My girls turned 6 last June. Our cut off date is Sept 1st. I 'red-shirted" because I didn't want them to be the youngest in the class and possibly struggle. They are doing great.

I will watch for your response and see what I can do to help. I find it hard to believe that they cannot catch your girls up until the end of the year.

Karen

Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,12,Grace,8
Margaret PDD-NOS, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)

Showing other MOMS how to stay home, BE HEALTHIER and earn extra income!
www.ImagineBALANCE.com/TakeChargeNow

They just turned 6 in January - so they fall pretty much in the middle of the year. I've done lots of "research" over the past few days and found some good information to help the teachers and my-self. Also had a conference with the teacher yesterday. I absolutely love her and she loves my girls, but I think that was part of the problem. She apologized in a funny way when she told me that when she tested them she was shocked her self to see how behind they actually were. They are so verbally advanced beyond the other kids, that even the other teachers (music, library etc) couldn't believe it either.

They are also VERY social, which is part of the problem. The class sizes are fairly large (26), and alot of their work is self-paced. My little social diva's are spending WAY too much time socializing and not enough time on their work. But since they don't cause any PROBLEMS it goes un-noticed most of the time. I think just talking to the teacher and bringing this to her attention will help a ton. We also established isolated desks where they can go if they find themselves wanting to talk to a friend before their work is done and put into place a reward system for finishing work on time. The teacher was pleased and is using the reward for the entire class so she doesn't single out the girls. While Candy is not my favorite thing - they get 1 skittle/mm for each paper finished on time. For now the reward is immediate, and I don't think 2-3 skittles a day will put anyone into sugar overload.

The other avenue I'm going to take is having them re-evaluated at the U of U just to make sure we are not dealing with any "real" delay issues that need to be address with an IEP etc. I would just feel better knowing one way or the other. I'm suspecting that Madi's motor delay has more to do with her being left handed than any thing else. The school has also agreed to "re-test" them by someone who doesn't know them, so the testing would not be biased. The teacher agreed that she is sometimes easy on them because they are adorable - - - I'm not sure if that's a negative or positive thing??????

So, long story short, it may not be as big of a problem as it looked like at first, but I'm not taking any chances. We have started a new homework routine and I'm hiring a tutor to work side by side with me after school so they each get more dedicated one-on-one time. I obtained a list of all the words and math concepts they need to know by the end of the year and have made flash cards, games and posters. (no-haven't slept in two nights, but sleep is over rated....right???)

Thanks for just letting me vent and figure this all out. Does anyone else have someone who is left handed? Any ideas for helping them along?? I've considered trying to find a tutor who is left handed to help specifically with this.

Becky

Becky:

First off, I'm feeling your pain. I have been experiencing some of the same things that you're talking about with my kids, and wondering if there isn't some problem.

You've said some very interesting things that conform with what I've been seeing, too. But, it's also helped me to focus a bit. You note that they have excellent vocabularies and that everyone was shocked at their testing.

H'mmm...
1) How were they tested? The results may have something more to do with the testing mechanism than your kids' development.
2) Are they bored with the curriculum? Or, maybe they're bored with most of it and inattentive by the time any real new learning starts?
3) Have they become lazy? My son has learned to simply "tune out" and "turn off" and then becomes silly acting to entertain himself. And, he rushes through his work, which is stupidly simple, doing it very sloppily and without regard for neatness. Is this part of the problem for your girls?

You note how "social" they are. Oh my. In short, they are distracting themselves from learning. I've actually been thinking about separating my kids for the end of "Jr. Kindergarten" for just the same reason. They egg each other on. What one doesn't think to do, the other one does.

One way to do homework with them would be:
1) Select two television shows -- tivo recorded so it will be the same two shows -- of about 15 minutes or so each.
2) Set two of them in front of the television to watch the first show and work one-on-one with the third.
3) Swap out and a different pair will watch show two while you work with victim, er, student number 2.
4) Swap out again and this time, the child who has seen both shows becomes the student.

Everyone gets one-on-one time, and everyone gets to see the same two (phonics, as in Leap Frog??) shows.

BTW, left handers do not routinely have problems -- but, they do tend to be very creative and resourceful and this may be aiding in the mix with all of the sociability.

We are just starting a daily "progress report" that will serve as a "chore chart" or "points chart" for us. On it, I'm putting:

1. Make bed before leaving for school.
2. Brush teeth.
3. Get self dressed and ready on time.
4. Do workbooks neatly and carefully.
5. Read aloud.
6. Put belongings away and tidy up before supper.
7. Take all dirty clothes downstairs to laundry.
8. Set table.
9. Clear table.
10. All work brought home from school is neatly done.
11. Bathe self.
12. Brush teeth.
13. Did I treat Margee with respect?
14. Did I obey Margee?
15. Did I treat my sibling with respect?
16. Did I treat Mommy with respect?
17. Did I obey Mommy?
18. Was I attentive in class? (After school activities)

Yes, I know that it's a long chart, but I've gotten sick and tired of inattentive, silly, unsatisfactory behavior. Each day they will get points for the things they have accomplished. And, I've told Margee (our nanny) that if they say or do anything that is disrespectful, she is to immediately go and mark "no" on their progress chart. Period. We have little metal cookie boxes and these will become our treasure boxes to hold our progress charts each week. At the end of the week, we will review how well they did and provide appropriate rewards for points.

I don't know if this is going to help. All I really know is that my kids are learning to be inattentive and disrespectful. My son's school work looks like I'm dealing with a real under-achiever, but if you ask him to discuss "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" with you, he'll be telling you how it's an allegory and comparing it with another story. Yikes. It sounds like you may have the same problem going with your girls.

Good luck, Becky. Please let me know if you find things that help.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh

Becky,

What do the teacher/teachers say about your concerns? I know in the district I taught in if a child was behind and it was because of a suspected delay the teachers would push for more testing through the school. I would think if they won't be caught up by years end the teacher should be working with you to find out why they are having problems and look at developmental testing. You shouldn't have to ask your pedi, the school should be helping you with that. Not that your pedi won't have some suggestions but I would definitely have the teachers input and suggestions and push for some educational testing through the district.
JOY

Our district has "reading club" for students who need extra help. In kindergarden, they called it the alphabet soup group. Sometimes the parents have to push to get their child into it. Most of my friends who have put their child into the club, saw a noticeable improvement. Since your class size is large for K., the one-on-one might benefit your girls.

Also, one of my friends who also has multiples figured out in first grade that her kids were more interested in what their siblings were doing or not doing than anything else. She separated them the next year and it helped. Is there an option for separate classes for your girls?

Are you in public school? If so, the school should an OT that could evaluate for fine motor delay. Although, in our district you have to have more than one "delay" to get OT. (OT is not stand alone.) Private insurance might cover therapy if there is a delay.

You are doing the right thing by asking questions. Keep us posted.

Melissa

Hi Becky,

First of all, 2 of my dds are left-handed (one triplet and my 9 year old) it has never been a problem in regards to motor or any other kinds of delays. In fact, they were both identified gifted & talented at the end of Kindergarten. My triplets are currently in 2nd grade.

If your dds are behind in phonemic spelling and reading, I would suggest that you buy the Leap Frog letter sounds DVD. For some reason, kids love this dvd. My dds learned all their letter sounds in a span of one or two weeks of watching this video, no kidding. For your dds to catch up on their reading, they need to first know all their letter sounds. Also, I know it's a lot of work, but you have to continue helping each dd individually with their homework. This is how I've always done it with my dds, and I remember in Kindergarten especially it was so much work FOR ME. Is the teacher sending a small phonemic-based book home with your girls (even if it's just a few pages long)? Your dds need to be practicing reading every day, even during the summer.

Hope my advice is helpful. Good idea on hiring a tutor!


Mom to five girls: ages 10, 9, and 7/7/7