Hello, this is my 1st time here. My triplets are now 10 years old and we're struggling with the issue of rivalry, specifically one daughter who says she "did not ask to have a brother and sister" and continually expresses in wods and action that she wants to be an only child. She is a great kid one-on-one, she is great with her friends, but she treats her siblings horribly, constantly picks fights, will not reciprocate their kindness, will not share even when they do unless we interfere and make her and it is causing a lot of conflict and upheaval in our home. I keep on telling her how lucky she is to have siblings and ask her to treat them the way she treats her friends, but all to no avail. My mom says she needs more attention, so I try to give it to her such as going shopping with me which she loves, but I am at my wits end. Punishing has not worked, logic has failed, what do we do???? Will this change???
When they were toddlers she was the smallest and had reflux problems so everyone did everything possible to stop her from throwing up and since crying usually precipitated throwing up, grandparents would do anything to prevent her crying even if it meant asking her siblings to give up toys that the princess wanted - now I fear we've created a monster or at the least encouraged her egotistical tendencies. Any advice????

I don't have any advice. I just wanted to let you know that I totally know where you are coming from. Only my problem isn't with the triplets. My problem is with their older sister, Megan. Same thing as you-she is awesome at school, teachers love her, she has friends, is great one-on-one, etc. But she is HORRIBLE to her sisters. More specifically she picks on Brigid. She does what she can to exclude her in everything. My weekends with the girls are all about handling Megan and her jealousies. I've tried counseling with her and it has goten better for awhile. But then she just heads down that sibling rivalry path again. I'm at my wits end too. I'm trying "1,2,3 Magic" and it is helping some. I hate punishments and would rather try to work with her in a positive light. Any help would be appreciated. Megan can be such a delightful, helpful, smart, friendly girl but this sibling rivalry thing is driving me crazy!

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVFers 34w3d

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVF

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

One thing we have done is made a rule that if you can't get along with your siblings, you can't play with the neighborhood kids. I have had to explain this to parents in our neighborhood and they seem to understand when I send their child home not because their child caused a problem, but because my children cannot play with their child if it means they are being mean to their sibling. The kids seem to get this, too--that family is #1 to us and playing with others is a privelige. It's sort of a hard line to take, but it seems to help get things turned around here rather quickly when they see we mean business.

Sheri
Mom to 5 Great Kids
Savannah-6/1/93
Sydney-8/19/97
Clayton, Jackson, Tyler-10/6/00

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.