Tracy responded to me on my post about class pictures that she was divorced also. Are there any other divorced MOMs on here that have school age kids?

It will be 4 years in May since my ex and I separated. I have been doing this by myself thing for awhile now. Currently my ex does not have utilities so the girls are only having daytime visits with him every other weekend. He picks them up on Sat. morning and I pick them up Sat. at 8 p.m. He comes back on Sunday morning and I pick them up at 5:30 p.m. I gotta admit that I am tired. I had two sick girls home this week so that meant I missed THREE days of work without pay. (No my ex will not watch them when they are sick) I start a new job on Tuesday and am hoping that everyone stays healthy so I don't miss anymore work. Ugh. I don't have family in town to help out other than my brother who has 4 kids of his own too. I think the thing that is hardest for me is that I am lonely. I don't have time to go out with friends. On my days when the girls are with their Dad I run all my errands, groceries, etc. I catch up on all laundry and house cleaning. On the weekends when I have the girls I try to find activities for us to do as family. So there really isn't any me time. I was trying to figure out what to give up for Lent but I have given up so much that I couldn't find anything to give up!

I'm not complaining really. Just stating what my life is like. I would love to hear from other MOMs to see how you handle the day-to-day stuff.

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVFers 34w3d

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVF

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Hi,

It looks like we are a rare breed! I'm sorry you get little help from your ex. With me, we separated a couple weeks after the kids turned 3. I was completely shocked and wasn't expecting it. But, I have to say, even though my ex wasn't a good husband, he is a good father. From the beginning he continued to help me, coming over almost every night to get me through dinner, baths and bed. It was tough being around him during that time. I was sooo angry with him, but I also was sooo overwhelmed that I needed the help. I also didn't want to let him off the hook by leaving me all the work. Sometimes I would go to the grocery or run errands while he took care of the kids at my house. Now, things are pretty good. He keeps them overnight a couple nights a week and comes over on Thursday nights to help finish homework, etc. We are able to be in the same room together without killing each other, so that's a blessing. I have no family in town, but he has tons. They ALL are angry at him and have supported me from the beginning. In fact, I get invited to the holiday celebrations and he doesn't. It's a little strange.

But, that all being said, it is still very tough. The nights that I am on my own are exhausting. There simply isn't enough time in the day to do all the things we need to do. Forget about playing together. It's just trying to do what we HAVE to to make it to tomorrow. I hate that I have to be in this situation and would just like to be a normal family. My exhaustion leads to me getting angry when I shouldn't and things like that. I want to be a fun happy mom, but when you are doing it on your own, it's hard to deal with it all and enjoy it too. Sometimes you are just trying to survive.

Anyway, glad we could connect. I hope to hear from a few more moms like us!

Tracy
Mommy to Lindsey, Patrick and Brooke
Born 1-14-03 at 32weeks, 3 days and ^i^ twins Dylan 1-12-02 and Cole 1-21-02