Tracy responded to me on my post about class pictures that she was divorced also. Are there any other divorced MOMs on here that have school age kids?

It will be 4 years in May since my ex and I separated. I have been doing this by myself thing for awhile now. Currently my ex does not have utilities so the girls are only having daytime visits with him every other weekend. He picks them up on Sat. morning and I pick them up Sat. at 8 p.m. He comes back on Sunday morning and I pick them up at 5:30 p.m. I gotta admit that I am tired. I had two sick girls home this week so that meant I missed THREE days of work without pay. (No my ex will not watch them when they are sick) I start a new job on Tuesday and am hoping that everyone stays healthy so I don't miss anymore work. Ugh. I don't have family in town to help out other than my brother who has 4 kids of his own too. I think the thing that is hardest for me is that I am lonely. I don't have time to go out with friends. On my days when the girls are with their Dad I run all my errands, groceries, etc. I catch up on all laundry and house cleaning. On the weekends when I have the girls I try to find activities for us to do as family. So there really isn't any me time. I was trying to figure out what to give up for Lent but I have given up so much that I couldn't find anything to give up!

I'm not complaining really. Just stating what my life is like. I would love to hear from other MOMs to see how you handle the day-to-day stuff.

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVFers 34w3d

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVF

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

I'm divorced too, Almost 5 years now. It is exhausting but it gets a bit easier as they get older and more independent. I've been dating off and on over the past 5 yrs. Only 2 were serious and both flaked on me. I get the same things- 4 kids puts a lot of men off. For the ones that can deal with the idea of 4 kids, well, once they find out about the challenges my kids and I deal with each day,( Down syndrome, ADHD, CP, Aspergers) well, they leave too. I've given up on dating for the time being.

For day to day stuff, I learned to let some of it go. laundry and dishes will always be there. Now that my kids are older, they help with some of the chores. they actually fight over who gets to mop or wash windows. LOL I had to buy extra swiffer mops.
I get me time when they go to their dad's house. That's when I do my volunteer work, read a book, visit friends, sleep late. see a movie, eat a hot meal.
My ex helps out more now than when we were married. He's also pretty involved with the kids- takes the boys to Cub Scouts, hockey, goes to all the school stuff, ballet recitals, etc. I'm currently unemployed and so I get the bulk of dealing with kids being ill and such.

Korrie~
^i^B/G/G 24 w 3d,1/17/00
B 10/31/01
B 1/27/03

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>

I'm glad to hear your ex still puts time in with the kids and helps you. That's the only way I can make it, personally. I'm not sure how any mother, multiples or not, can do it truly on their own with no support from the father. I guess we are blessed in that sense...

Tracy
Mommy to Lindsey, Patrick and Brooke
Born 1-14-03 at 32weeks, 3 days and ^i^ twins Dylan 1-12-02 and Cole 1-21-02

Just wanted to say that I for one am proud of the moms here that are raising their triplets/quads alone.

And from my standpoint, as a man, I'm appalled to think of a so-called father walking out on his responsibilities. It's the cowardice way of dealing with problems, and 99.9% of the time it is nothing less than a spineless, selfish nature that can walk away from the only real place one is supposed to be.

It's so unfair in so many ways..... the kids still love their dad despite his selfishness..... the courts allow visitation for the 'betterment' of the kids, which I'm not sure is true because it teaches children that you can walk away from responsibilites and still have the reward of seeing them (on the convenience of every other weekend)...... and worst of all is that the so-called-father thinks he has the right to 'start-over' again, while mom is doing the most difficult job on planet earth with her and his children.

They give Purple Hearts and awards to soldiers who will carry a fellow soldier off the battlefield, but a mom who devotes her entire life to raising and nurturing a trio (or more) of children into becoming wonderful kids and later great adults, and in some cases by herself..... she gets no such medal of honor.

Rick (& Carole)
BBG at nearly 33 weeks and counting

You are very sweet, but I told my ex-husband to leave when my trio was a year old...he didn't walk out.

Jami
mom to 7 year old BGG,
9 year old G, & 11 year old G

Rick,

It's been awhile since I have posted on here. I am so busy! Thank you for your kind words. It is frustrating that I do EVERYTHING and Dad swoops in for 4 days out of the month and my girls think he is the greatest. I just keep in my head that I am doing the best that I can for them. That when they get older they will appreciate all that I have done for them. Each one of my girls were Star Students of the Month this year at school. Brigid in September, Abigail in February, Caroline in May and Megan in June. I choked up each time they got their award and certificate because I realized that it is me solely that raises them. Megan got so many awards in her class at the end of the school year that it was getting embarrassing with as many times as she went in front of her class. But then I had to remember that it is me that works with her all year. Not Dad.

So just a big thank you again for acknowledging all the hard work we single MOMs do.

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVFers 34w3d

My trio is 6!

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVF

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Kristina and other Moms who have posted here:
I have 6 yr old trips who I adore, but my marriage has been dead for over 3 years. Mostly due to his infidelity, verbal abuse. He is good with the kids to a degree, but extremely disrespectful to me. He has anger management issues. It breaks my heart to see my boys act rudely, talk back and act like him. I have chosen up until now to stay in it for the children. At what point did you say enough is enough and go through with your divorces? I am doing my research now and trying to determine what's best for the children. It is harrowing.
Sadly,
Camille

When there's abuse of any kind and the abuser refuses to get help, that's when you leave. Especially since you see it starting in your children. As you go thru the divorce, make sure your lawyer gets it put in the paperwork that their father HAS to go thru counseling/anger management of some sort for a significant period of time ( I'd say at least a year),not some blow off one day course or evaluation by a psychiatrist or whatever. If his horrible behavior is now being mimicked by your children then he doesn't need to be around them until he's under professional care, IMO.
I hope you are doing well these days and things are looking better for you.

God Bless

Korrie~
^i^B/G/G 24 w 3d,1/17/00
B 10/31/01
B 1/27/03

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>

Korrie,

Here, here. Very good advice. When I look back on things now I do wish I had thought of something like this. It may have helped things a lot for my ex to have continued going to therapy instead of stopping as soon as we separated.

Kristina
divorced MOM
7/26/00 Megan Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVFers 34w3d

My trio is 6!!

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVF

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com