Our trio is expected to start K this fall, when they'll JUST be turning 5. Although their progress through EI and Pre-K is amazing and their behavior in school is pretty good (comparatively to the other kids and as a average over time)... well, I have uneasy feelings about this.

I know, I know, we all do but I am worried about them being mature enough to take K seriously, about their success later, High School etc.

Homework right now is a joke, they cannot possibly sit still, let alone focus on something for more than a minute. Then it turns out ugly most of the times because I have to push them - not fun.
I am crying as I type this, thinking about HOW are we/they going to do homework and not hate it for the rest of their lives?!
I am stressed about having them be the littlest in class from now on, including in sports in high grades (they are a bit smaller than same age peeres anyway).
I am under pressure to respect the opposing opinion of my dh and the rest of the family... that is to let them go to K next year...

I want to keep them one more year, NOT at home but in some "K-like" classes 3d/w. I want to give them a good start, set them for success.

There is no doubt in my mind that starting late is good for them - and there is no doubt in my dh's mind that the sooner they start K, the better results they'll have later on in school/career. Hmm...

So the question is: do you think that they will be set for success is they start K 'early' OR 'late'?! What is your experience?!

Javi & Gabi
b/b/g - born at 30 weeks (3 lbs 1.5oz, 2 lbs 13oz, 3 lbs 1oz)

I think you should listen to what your heart and head is already telling you to do. In my opinion, your reasons are right on track.

My trio is now in K. They turned five in April of 2007 and I was all set to send them to K. (My experience was a bit different as we had opted not to send them to preschool). But still, something was just not feeling right about making the jump to K. After talking to a triplet mom in our community with the same month triplets as mine, who started them at six and asking the same question here (and getting OVERWHELMING response for holding them) that's just what I did. I ended up doing pre-k (4 afternoons a week) when they were five and started them in K last fall when they were six. Sure, they are some of the oldest in the class, but more power to them. They were 32 weekers so in the adjusted world they wouldn't have been five until June anyway. As you argue, it really isn't all about how they'll do in K but how it will be when they are in junior high and high school even and are the very youngest. That's where things will potentially break down.

My boys are right on track or ahead academically and the same size or smaller than most everyone in their class. I am so glad I did it this way and will do the same for my twins (who turn five the end of this coming July). It will give them an edge both academically and socially that they might not have if I had 'rushed it.'

Plenty of time for education. Only a few short years for them to be babies and toddlers.

Good luck with your decision.

Ellyn and the lucky 13!





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I can't say what is best for your children because I don't know them. And even if I did, I could never know them as well as you, their parent, does. You are the expert on your children.

In my dds' case, they're among the youngest in their class (born in June and cut off date is Sept. 1st). I felt they were ready for Kindergarten. I used to teach Kinder many years ago, so I pretty much knew if they were academically and socially ready. They're now in 2nd grade, and have never struggled at all. In fact, they're among the brightest in their grade and all 3 have been identified gifted and talented. No regrets on my part.

If I had thought that my dds weren't ready for Kindergarten, I would have waited a year. However, I wouldn't have held them back simply because they were the smallest in their class. DH wouldn't have either considering he was also a June baby and went on to graduate from a prestigious university.

BTW, we're not the kind of parents who pressure their kids to bring home an all-A report card. We don't expect our dds to graduate high school early, and I'm not really sure how I feel about all these Pre-AP courses that high school students take nowadays. We're just parents who thought our dds were ready for Kindergarten at 5 years of age. Nothing more, nothing less. It may not be the right decision for everybody, but it was for us.

I know you'll make the best decision for YOUR children because you love them and naturally want what's best for them. GL!

Gloria

Good Morning,
My kids have a June birthday with a due date of the end of August. We chose to have them start kindy a year later. I am so happy that we did, in more ways than one.

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson

My girls are in K now. They have July birthday, Sept 5 due date, and Sept 30 cutoff. We red-shirted them.

The preschool teachers highly recommended red-shirting them. I knew they would have been fine academically, but socially they were lagging. It wasn't until about this time last year (maybe even April) that they had any interest in teh social aspects of preschool. They didn't keep to their sibling group, just weren't real social. Other girls (and some boys) were well ahead of them, from a social perspective.

Now, they are little social butterflies. They adapted well to K, academically and socially. They are confident and thoroughly enjoy all aspects of school.

We are in a district where it's not uncommon to red-shirt. But our principal INSISTS that if you child is age-eligible, they will educate him/her. BTW- he waited until the last minute to enroll his DD, who has an Aug birthday.

I see some of the younger kids in my girls' K class, and most are where they need to be. Mine are ahead. But I also see the same in my DS's 2nd grade class. You can't really tell who is younger. And some struggle in reading, but others struggle in math and they excel in the opposite. I do see that some of the boys in one of our K class are a bit more disruptive than other students. Not sure of thier ages, but I find it interesting that many teachers/principals think that having all of a set of multiples in a class would be disruptive. These boys have been together in daycare since they were babies/toddlers, and the teacher sees that contributing to their behavior issues....and then there are my girls. You wouldn't even know they are sisters when you walk into the classroom.

But, aside from the preK teacher recommendations, them being multiples actually factored into our decision. (Hate to admit that, b/c it irked me when the teacher said "....and they are multiples." Having 5 children in early elementary, we knew that there would be a lot of 1-on-1 reading, some projects, other things that would require our involovement. Giving our girls the extra time to mature- longer attention span, less volatile emotions (not sure I was right in thinking THAT), better understanding of structure, etc would make them more confident and independent learners.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

I think there is nothing wrong with waiting.
I also think there is nothing wrong with sending them.

1 thing to keep in mind is if you hold them 1 more year are they going to go to the same preschool they are in now?
If so will they be bored?

I only say that because many times I have talked with my trio's teachers about different kids and how they act in class and OFTEN the teachers will say, well I had _____ last year and she is bored, she knows this stuff already thats why she is acting out.
I promise you I have heard this from all 6 of the teachers my kids have had.
At the beginning of the year my kids each had a diff. teachers and each teacher has an aide.

I could not believe how often I heard it.

I was worried because my children were suppose to go a 2nd year at that school.
Of course now the gov. has cut even more schools here and my children next year have to go to a diff. school and will all be in 1 class because they have cut so many schools and classes, but thats another post! lol.

Because they are changing schools and teachers they will learn maybe some of the same things but differently, if that makes sense.
But my new fear is they will be bored in kindergarten because 2 years of preschool!

Also, my dd was 5 years old and 6 months when she started K and she had a very hard time but has ADHD.
My niece started when she was 5 years 2 months (even in the same class as my dd) and she was FINE and did not struggle AT ALL.

My dd was/is the 2nd smallest in her classes.
My niece is 1 of the tallest and she is super shy.

This year both are being tested for gifted.

I think either way you go you will be ok.

Can you maybe start them and if you see it not going well then pull them out? Would that be a ok compromise between you and DH?

This is a tough decision but it sounds like you know what you want to do and what you feel your children need. It is more the norm now to encourage later born kids (close to cut off date) to wait. I have several close friends/family who are elem teachers, dh is a teacher and it is highly recommended to have kids wait if you have even a hesitation - esp with boys.

A friend of mine was in the same position and held her son back. She is so glad she did. She is a teacher and her dh was one of the youngest in his class - she can see even going to college - that he was not quite ready.

GL
Suzanne
BBB 4/00

Thank you everyone for your input. As I am still not sure what we'll do next year, this I know: our thoughts and attention are better directed now. Hopefully our decision will help them later on.

The most important aspect I think is the one about being 'bored' in K. I know someone extremely smart who underestimated tests, homework, school alltogether and as an adult now, had missed a lot of opportunities.

Best to all,

Javi & Gabi
b/b/g - born at 30 weeks (3 lbs 1.5oz, 2 lbs 13oz, 3 lbs 1oz)

Hillyt mom to
Ian 10
Ella, Holly, Jilly 5
Hadley 2

My three are an aug 30 b day with a sept 1 cut off

I sent them, and they have done great. I also separated them, and that has been a God send. I think all kids are different, and should be looked at case by case. There is a reason there is a cut-off date, and just being younger was not a good enough reason for me to hold them out. If I had any concerns I would not have hesitated to do another year of Pre-K. Best wishes on whatever you choose to do.

Kindergarten isn't the issue. "Most" kids are ready. It's 3rd grade that they hit a wall (yes, there are exceptions).

I have never heard of anyone regretting red-shirting, but I've heard regrets to put them in school.

I red-shirted. Maggie is high functioning autism and is in her 2nd year in kindergarten. Melissa and Michelle went to preschool. This year they are all in 5k together. Maggie is at a reading level of 3 (endof kinder level), Melissa is a 9 and Michelle is a 17 (end of 1st grade level). I challenge them at home and the teachers try. Next year, the teachers will be able to work to challenge them more, just due to the curriculum.

good luck with your decision.
Karen

Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,12,Grace,8
Margaret, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)

Showing other MOMS how to stay home, BE HEALTHIER and earn extra income!
www.ImagineBALANCE.com/TakeChargeNow

There is a great book on this subject...you may want to check it out.

Better Late Than Early: A New Approach to Your Child's Education by Moore, Moore & Moore

HTH's

Audrey
SAHM
GGG"s 5-9-2003 (34weeks)

No child has been harmed by waiting an extra year to mature.

My boys are June babies and we decided to give them one extra year. They start kinder this 2009/2010 year. They turn 6 in June.

BBB Triplets Born 2003

my girls will be 7 in June and they are finishing 5k. They are smart and ahead of the curve. GOOD! I'd rather that than to have a struggle! It is not about kindergarten. THey may be ready, but being the youngest in the class at 2nd and 3rd grade is when things catch up.

I agree with triplescoop, no harm in waiting 1 more year. You won't ever hear a parent say they regret red shirting!

good luck!
Karen