Help!
I have 13yr old triplets: 2girls and 1boy. The girls are constantly fighting with each other over everything. They will not share, they can't look at each other without the other saying "she is looking at me" and each one tries to be the others mother. The fighting is driving us all crazy. You would think that they are triplets they would be so close, but this is not the case.

I get that they are tired of doing everything together, sharing friends, having to share everything(which they don't but some things I will not buy two of and they need to share) plus I try to tell them if they shared they would have double the stuff!

I am tired of yelling at them. I just want them to get along. Anyone experience the same thing and made a change in their attitudes, please send me your suggestions.

Thanks

My girls are only 7 but you are describing what is currently going on in my house right now. A couple weeks ago, I told one of my girls (the one being the biggest pain) that if she couldn't be nicer to her sister, then she would spend the ENTIRE weekend with her sister. What ever sister wanted to do, that is what would happen. No fighting...nothing. The mood around here has gotten so much better. They are still fighting, but it is not as bad. Good luck! I look forward to other suggestions.

Dawn

Mom to Samantha, Jeremy, Paige and Christian

Born 12/12/03 @ 31w 2d



http://lovinglifewithquads.blogspot.com

That would not work with teenagers! Much stronger sense of self and their "rights" to be able to get away with it, LOL!

My three (almost) 14-year-old boys while wonderful gentlemen in public, can be real a**holes towards each other at home. Boredom is the biggest cause. The busier they are, the quieter things are. But bored -- watch out! They know what buttons to push to liven things up.

The boys share a computer (and sometimes can be on mine) -- 40 minute turns. Last night it got turned off early -- two were arguring over whose turn it was. I refuse to be drawn into these disputes as a referee -- basically I tell them, "Work it out, or it goes off!"

It sure would be nice to have an extra bedroom! They have two bedrooms -- every six months there is a bedroom change. This is something carried over from the old house where they shared one room for 11 years. Every 6 months they changed beds (first and second choices rotated).

We only have one bathroom -- glad there are only males in the house!

Vaughn and the ABC Boys
Alex, Bryce, & Calder
3-31-97 @ 28.5 weeks

My sympathies but know that you're not alone.

It's the same here but mine will only be 12 in 20 days. I was at a dinner where someone said when her sisters were fighting non-stop her mother borrowed handcuffs and cuffed them together for EVERYTHING until they learned to get along. Her recollection was that it was a long weekend but after that whenever their Mom said "do I need handcuffs" the fighting immediately stopped. I'm seriously thinking about asking my bil (a police officer) if he has an extra pair of handcuffs and see if it works for us.

It sounds like no one has found a solution to this problem. I have the same problem at home. You'd think that someone would have figured out a solution by now. We even asked a therapist to intervene but she was no help at all.

We did notice that one of my girls seemed to be at the center of most arguments as she has a real problem with taking the other's things without asking. We tried all kinds of punishments but just noticed that it made her more distant from us. This really bothered me as she didn't want to be around us at all while the other two enjoyed our company. I sat her down and had a real heart to heart trying to convey my dilemma and asked how would she handle it. It took her a long time to open up and I wouldn't let her leave until she told me how to solve the problem.

Come to find out, she had no problem with sharing everything of hers and wanted her sisters to reciprocate. Thus, I told the others that the new rule was that everything is to be shared as long as you ask first. You can't so 'no' unless you have a really good reason and the parents would referee any disputes. So far, it has cooled down a bit but it does take some reprogramming as old habit die hard.

I think that even if we had 3 separate bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and 3 sets of everything it would still happen as they still have to interact each other. They even take my wife's things all of the time and never return them so it's definitely an immature teenager issue. Maybe it's time for Dear Abby or whoever she is these days.

Gotta love the teen years. They can fight over the most ridiculous topics. "She's breathing my air" was once yelled.
Being a multiple is tough when you share EVERYTHING: parents, friends, school experiences, etc. My girls have their own rooms, but still manage to fight with the other sibs.
I have sufficiently managed to tune out the mindless drivel and only intervene when it becomes volatile. They'll be in each other's lives forever, so they need to work out their issues without a mediator. One of my dearest friends is an identical twin. She and her mom shared stories of the twin challenges. Between those stories and those my dad and his twin sis shared, it actually prepared me for having my own identicals. (Our fraternal boy doesn't get involved with the girl drama.)

Tracey, busy mom to:
Michael (16)
Francesca (15)
Matt, Lexi, Gabi (13)
AFS exchange student Alice (17)