Its just one of those days that I can't stop crying. My DH and I are divorcing and I will be a single mom of 2.5 year old triplets. Right now we are living in the weird alternative universe of living in the same house. Economically we just can't afford to support two households until I find work or sell the house. The house is listed for less than we paid but given the market, who knows when it will sell.

I was doing ok for a while but I just heard that I got a second interview for a full time position. I know this is good news but it just means all of this may actually happen. I am currently a SAHM - a job I LOVE more than anything. I was of "advanced maternal age" when I had my kids and did the whole career thing already. I can think of nothing I want to do that excites me like being home with my kids excites me.

Now I am facing leaving my kids all day everyday, moving somewhere, having to find daycare, doing it all alone. . . .

No the marriage won't be saved, yes we tried counseling for months until he up and walked out of one of the sessions, yes we are being civil in front of the kids (actually we don't fight at all we just ignore each other unless the kids are around), and yes we are trying to find a way throught this mess without permanently scarring our kids.

I'm just so scared and tired and emotionally and physically drained by all of this.

Someone tell me I will survive this hurt and my kids will be ok.

Suzanne

Right now you are "in the moment" and it probably feels like the most painfull thing you will ever go thru. I went thru a divorce about 6 years ago and for about 6 months afterwards I was pathetic, crying all the time and calling him talking about reconcilation. Now that I look back on it and am out of the "moment" I can see it was one of the greatest steps I ever took in my life. I saw him at a party last summer and he looked aweful, I can't believe I was ever married to him and he was jobless. I on the other hand had a hot date was lookin extra fine and had started a new job. You will see, you seem like a strong person you will make it. You go girl don't let no man keep you down.

Reta

Kipras, Kajus, Rokas born 7/4/ 2008