Its just one of those days that I can't stop crying. My DH and I are divorcing and I will be a single mom of 2.5 year old triplets. Right now we are living in the weird alternative universe of living in the same house. Economically we just can't afford to support two households until I find work or sell the house. The house is listed for less than we paid but given the market, who knows when it will sell.

I was doing ok for a while but I just heard that I got a second interview for a full time position. I know this is good news but it just means all of this may actually happen. I am currently a SAHM - a job I LOVE more than anything. I was of "advanced maternal age" when I had my kids and did the whole career thing already. I can think of nothing I want to do that excites me like being home with my kids excites me.

Now I am facing leaving my kids all day everyday, moving somewhere, having to find daycare, doing it all alone. . . .

No the marriage won't be saved, yes we tried counseling for months until he up and walked out of one of the sessions, yes we are being civil in front of the kids (actually we don't fight at all we just ignore each other unless the kids are around), and yes we are trying to find a way throught this mess without permanently scarring our kids.

I'm just so scared and tired and emotionally and physically drained by all of this.

Someone tell me I will survive this hurt and my kids will be ok.

Suzanne

hi suzanne
i am sorry i didn't know this forum existed until today.
YES you will survive this hurt. your kids are going to be fine as well.
from talking to friends whose parents divorced or stayed together "for the sake of the kids", they all say that they wished their parents had divorced as amicably as possible instead of going through years of tension. it sounds like you are making the best effort possible, and are planning well for their future. you should take comfort in how well you are planning, although it pains you.

there will be support groups for single mums, even informal ones. join one of those groups, get feedback and support. don't do it all alone, there are friends who will provide opinions and options, even if family isn't nearby or wont.

i'm sorry that reality is biting as the second interview looms...it sounds like your skills are in demand and you will be able to provide for the kids with your ex husabnds assistance. well DONE.

you're doing the best you can with your head held high. you should feel proud of yourself. your kids will.

tess
mummy to 6yr old ds & the triumverate born 2004

"the days are slow but the years fly by quickly"