I am currently 29 weeks and have been in the hospital on bed rest since 26 weeks. Last week, hubby and I toured the NICU and met the nursing staff who were all very sweet and made me feel comfortable about our babies' stay there. Obviously we don't know when they'll be born or what their needs will be, but the reality of preemies can almost guarantee some sort of stay. Even with access to a top-rated NICU on the west coast, I'm still looking for a little btdt advice to better prepare.

General pointers?
What was helpful for you during the babies' stay?
How often were you there? How long were your visits?
How did you divide your time between the 3 babies?
How did you keep your sanity?
Do you have any tips for dealing with the staff?
How do you make the babies' spaces feel more personalized? (Blankets on the incubators? Signs? Holiday decorations?)
Did you limit visitors? (We have an opinion on this but curious what others think.)
Anything else you'd care to share?

As prepared as I can try to be I know reaching the point of having them in the NICU will change everything. Just touring the NICU made me cry a little bit, but I know we won't be the first to experience a stay there. I look forward to your insight!

~BGG Born October 6, 2011 @ 34 Weeks~

I am sharing what worked for my DD. Our NICU was 45 minutes away from where they lived. At first, she could not drive for a few weeks so she and DH would go together or I would take her and he would come later and take her home. She did not stay the entire day - maybe for a few hours. About time to come home, she did do a couple of overnights. My DIL had a singleton there and she stayed the entire time in the Ronald McDonald house. The boys were always physically close together. DD welcomed grandparent visits and when I went, I would normally ask which one was 'most convenient' to hold. As far as other visitors, no one else was allowed unless the parent was there. She did not limit visitors, but they had to go when she was there. My DIL did not want anyone up and we honored that. I am a scrapbooker so I made cute nameplates for each space. There was also a nurse who made all kinds of neat layouts. Each boy had a 'diary' and the nurses would make notes in that too. They had blankets and a few stuffed toys. The first time I went alone, DD began to cry and said, 'Now you make those nurses let you hold them.' That was never an issue, and they only had one nurse that none of us cared for. She could call any time, which she did. The grandmas attempted to go when mom and dad were not there because then the boys got attention at different times and also then they could be 'family' without us there. She kept the boys on the schedule the NICU had them on and that helped. We honored their schedule. DD is one of those people everyone falls in love with - very sweet - so she never had any problems with staff except the one nurse. You are allowed to request that a certain caregiver not care for them. DD used the time they were in the NICU to rest, recover, and prepare for their homegoing! They have no other children so did not have to balance that.

I visited my babies every day. I drove 100 miles each way so I would get there by 10 am and leave by 3 or 4 pm. We had a 3 year old daughter at the time. After 14 days in the hospital in the antipartum unit, I needed to be home with her to make her life more normal.

As far as the babies, in the beginning they told me who I could hold. Someone could have had a lot of A's and B's or temp was low. As they got older I made sure I had time with each every day.

Most NICU nurses are great, but of course you will have your favorites. Those will be the ones who talk to you and give you pointers. Some will decorate the walls. Hopefully you will have a primary or two. Those will be people who take care of your trio whenever they work.

Decorating ~ We brought snuggle buddies which were placed on top of their giraffes. The NICU gave them blankets. We did have a calander above each that important dates were noted. Like first bath or first full feed. Also bring disposable cameras. Mark their names with sharpies on the cameras and let the Nurses know to take pictures if anything cute comes up.

We did limit visitors. My MIL saw them twice in NICU and my daughter saw them twice as well. There will be plenty of time when you come home for visits. Make sure that you explain or even send a letter out about visitors, handwashing, smoking, little children and RSV. Your little ones will be born right at the beginning of the season and RSV is really hard on them, so take all precautions. There are some sample letters online. I mailed one that I modified a bit.

I am not trying to scare you but ours were born in May at 30 weeks. They spent 42 days in the NICU and 8 days after we were home at the end of June which is not RSV season ours got RSV. We spent the next 8 days in the PICU and it was extremely scary.

I also toured the NICU, but going in for the first time is hard. My advice is jump right in and get going. Ask questions. There is a ton of lingo. The Nurses will be great at showing you the ropes but make sure you ask if you don't know what they are talking about. Also the Drs. will make rounds at different times. Make sure that they know if you are not there when they see your childrent to tell them that you want a phone call. I expected to hear from them daily. You will get to know what time each of them make rounds and if I knew I tried to be there. I also had a journal. I wrote down weights, feeds, bradys, apnea, who worked that shift, meds, labs on each baby each day. I would also call in at shift changes or after cares to check on them. I would write down everything. It was nice to be able to reference that when talking about your children.

Sorry about the long post. I wish I had asked your questions so I had more information.

Lisa
bbg identical/fraternal
5-8-10
30 weeks exactly

We were lucky that our trio were in a small room with two sets of twins, so we didn't have to deal with too many other people around and could take care of all three fairly easily. We made sure to hold everybody we were allowed to hold for about the same time (it is awesome when you get to kangaroo two or all three at the same time!).
After your delivery, please make sure to take good care of yourself (rest lots, eat and drink well etc.). I didn't and ended up being rehospitalized and thus not able to see my little ones for a few days. That was horrible!
As for visitors, we let the grandparents and my best friend visit. If you don't want visitors, talk to the NICU staff and they will be more than happy to take the blame for not allowing visitors. Once we had two at home and one still in the hospital, I was so grateful that my husband would go in before work, my best friend at lunch time, my MIL after work, my husband again in the early evening and then I would go as soon as my husband came home. You do feel guilty when you cannot be with them as much as you think you should but sometimes there is just no other option.
We never had issues with the staff. I hope you won't either.
Best of luck!
Petra

Our GGG were 30 weekers (29 and 6) - and were in the NICU for a couple of months. We also have a 3 year old (2 1/2 at their birth) who needed our attention. We kept our 3 year old in day-care while the babies were in the NICU. Once they were ready to come home, we pulled her from day-care to keep germs out of the house.

General Pointers: The NICU is busy and bustling at times. You can often feel overwhelmed. Keep a pad of paper or a journal with you so you can write questions down when the doctors are around, and you can write notes of what they said (you won't recall everything). Don't be afraid to ask questions and challenge opinions if you're not feeling good about something. The NICU we were in had a two different medical teams made up of Attending docs, residents, medical students and nurse practitioners -- get to know whose on the teams so you can feel more comfortable with whose looking after your babies.

What was helpful: having the teams explain what was the going concern and what they were doing about it. Getting to do stuff with the babies -- tube feeds, diaper changes, isolet changes, holding the babies.

How often were you there: - we went every day, often in shifts. Some days we'd go in the morning and then again in the evenings. We got onto the feed schedules and tried to be there when they were being fed. Some days we were there too long and we exhausted ourselves - but in the end it was worth it.

Dividing time: The first 2 weeks the babes were all in different areas of the NICU so I would start with one and work my way around. After 2 weeks, we got moved to a level 2 hospital and they were all put into the same room (that was AWESOME!!)...once they were able to keep their temperatures up, they got moved into a "triplet" crib so we could be with them all at the same time!

Sanity: Keep the positives in mind and at hand no matter how small. We kept a blog daily for the first 2 months or so -- it was like journaling and allowed us both to get our thoughts, hopes, fears, and wins out. Blogging also allowed us to look back at how far the girls had come and the milestones we had all crossed.

Dealing with staff: There will be some that really connect and others that just don't. There will be the "technical" nurses - interested in the monitors and other that are more rounded. At the end of the day, I had to accept that they were good at what they did and had the best interest of my girls in mind. Someone mentioned "primarying" the babies. If you find someone you really like, ask them if they would like to primary your crew...many do!

Visitors: We were limited by policy to parents, siblings and grandparents. With the onset of H1N1, the NICUs here really cracked down and don't allow anyone outside of those parameters. The babies don't need others, they need you. Ours ended up with meningitis - so, be cautious and vigilant about the choices you make for visitors.

One of the other families on this forum took a bunch of video and had signs for each "marker" -- one week, one month etc...they took pictures of each time with all three girls. They made a video of it at the end of the one year marker -- it was really something to see and, I wished that I had started with that from the beginning.

Try to take each moment at a time -- there will be some that you won't want to repeat and others that you'll want to last forever. The time in the NICU will go by quickly...hang on and trust those looking after your babes!

Congratulations and good luck!

Janet
G - 12/07 35 weeks
GGG-04/10 30 weeks

My GGG were born at 25+4 (Christmas morning at 2 AM) but we have been blessed that they have done so well. They were in the NICU 80, 80, and 108 days. They came home at 37 weeks (two together) and 41 weeks, which partially had to do with scheduling hernia surgery. Two did come home on oxygen and apnea monitors, but the third had no tubes or equipment. I know other triplets who were born at 30ish weeks and were home at 34-35 weeks adjusted.

General pointers: One day at a time. Things can change so fast so you want to celebrate small successes but be prepared for things to change.

Helpful during the babies stay: meals! We had a local place that delivered frozen meals that was invaluable. Also hired a cleaning service. We were also lucky to have family nearby to help with walking our dogs. Things were easier if we only had to focus on babies.

We visited in the morning then again in the evening. My husband could only go in the evening once he was back at work. It varied - at first we were there maybe only an hour, but once we got to kangaroo and feed it would be a few hours. I would bring my pump supplies and use their pump room and often could catch two feedings. The nurses were good about working with us so we could try to kangaroo and feed everyone (sometimes meant moving things up or down 15 minutes).

Ours were all spread out at first also but eventually were right next to each other so it was much easier. I second what pp said about finding out when doctors round. If we missed the doctor, the nurse was always willing to call one of the NPs/PAs to talk to us.

How did you keep your sanity? DO NOT GOOGLE ANYTHING. It will freak you out. You want to be informed but just be careful what you read.

Do you have any tips for dealing with the staff? Acknowledge the nurses with a thank you who are doing a great job - it goes a long way!

How do you make the babies' spaces feel more personalized? -- Our nurses would make them holiday signs which we kept in a box. We had homemade blankets from a great aunt we put in their incubators along with a picture of us, and a college mascot stuffed doll.

Did you limit visitors? We also delivered during H1N1 season so only parents and grandparents were allowed, and only 2 people at a time. This seemed reasonable to us though no matter the time of year. As pp said, the nurses will take the blame if you want to tell anyone whatever policy you want!

The one thing I wish I had done is kept a journal with "firsts" and things like that. First bottle, weight milestones, etc. We only have the signs the nurses made with a few of them. The nurses also gave us some items which we have in a keepsake box - the hats they wore when they were first born, preemie diapers, the first BP cuffs, CPAP mask. It blows my mind to look at these things today. We took pictures with our wedding rings next to the babies and my husband's fit around their wrists. I think one day it will be amazing to show the girls these things and pictures and remind everyone how far they have come!!

The only other thing is that I wish I hadn't been in such a hurry to leave the hospital. I left as soon as I could since I had been on hospital bedrest and was sick of being there. The OB was able to keep me an extra day though and maybe longer since I had mild endometritis postpartum. It was so easy to hop down to the NICU though when I was still on postpartum and a pain recovering from a c-section trying to travel back and forth.

Good luck! You have already made it so far!

Lara
Mom to GGG born at 25+4 on 12/25/09

I have GGGs who turned two this summer. They were born @ 32w4d. Baby A spent 4 weeks in the NICU, Baby B 7 weeks, Baby C 9 weeks. We visited every day for most of the day (like 12 hours). My husband works at the hospital that we delivered at so he would go to work and I would go with him and spend the day with the girls. They kept my girls all in one big room and there was a bed for me most of the time (at least a rocking chair). The routine would be for me to change and take baby A's temp then either feed or kangaroo her. The next feeding I would feed B, then the next feeding I would feed C. I would usually spend about two hours with each baby individually and then time pumping throughout the day. I would take short breaks from the NICU to get lunch or coffee which really helped me stay sane. It was summer time so sometimes I'd just go for a walk around the hospital or find somewhere to sit in the sun for a few minutes. It's easy to get caught up in all the monitors and not leave to take care of yourself but you'll be a better parent when you get back after a break.

We allowed a few visitors, but only when we were there and only if the girls were okay. There were times we sent people away. Visitors (even grandparents) were not allowed to touch the babies until they were discharged. That was our rule since we got so little touch time at first and the girls were pretty fragile that we just make it a rule. They didn't like it but they got plenty of time to hold them once they came home.

Our staff was great (we're in Washington) but there are some that are better than others. We got to know them pretty well since I spent so much time there. They provided blankets for the incubators, made cute signs and name tags for their beds, and took pictures occasionally for us. We had one we didn't like and we let other nurses know that she would not be working with our girls again and they complied. We had one disagreement with the nurses and I finally had to play the mommy card (I'm the mom and you're going to do it my way.). They didn't like that but they did as we wished. I would say that you have a ton of power, you just don't know it yet. Try to keep everyone on the same team, but be an advocate for your children and speak up if something isn't working for you. If you can, go to the staffing meetings (rounds) while they discuss your babies. It helps to have an idea of what to expect.

The main thing to remember is to just take things a day at a time (or an hour or minutes sometimes!). It will seem like an eternity but eventually you'll get home. Be prepared for setbacks and stagnant times. Have people bring you meals and food. Don't be afraid to step on toes and hurt feelings. You don't have time to worry about other people's feelings when you're in the NICU. They'll forgive you. We never spent the night in the NICU. Go home and get good rest and then go back to your babies. It was wonderful to sleep while they were there. The hardest part for me was when one was home (and then two home) and still going back to the NICU for the other(s). The nurses don't really help once the baby has been discharged so you'll have that baby to care for while you're still trying to help the baby that's still inpatient. That was really rough for me.

Good luck. Lots of rambling thoughts!


Brenda

Wow, thank you ALL for your thoughtful responses. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading each one and gaining a bit more insight through your experiences.

Regarding visitors, the NICU here is very flexible and it's really up to us who we do/don't want around, and they've told us they're happy to be the bad guy. Our thought is to limit to immediate family only, which I know will be extremely challenging because I have a huge extended family and many friends who are already talking about coming to visit. DH's family is 2,500 miles away so it's mostly my side that I'm worried about. I also don't want anyone here if I'm not here...perhaps this may change but the thought of someone, even if it is my sister or mom, being here without me saddens me. I'm just worried about being stretched thin, and here's why:

DH is in the military and there is a good chance he'll miss the birth since he leaves this weekend for training, then has to report 500 miles away for duty until November and then deploys for 6 months. (Long story short, I was visiting family this summer en route to our new duty station and 5 days before we were to complete our move I was admitted to the hospital, resulting in a canceled lease on our house, me having to move in with family and all of our household items placed in storage where we would have moved. He's been able to be with me in the hospital for the past couple of weeks but his leave ends this weekend.) We're going to try our best to get him here on the weekends prior to deployment, but it's going to be so important to maximize our time together and with the babies. My friends and family will have plenty of time to visit later so I want every second possible with me, DH and the babies.

Since I've been in the hospital for 4 weeks now, I'm familiar with policies and how things operate, and have definitely encountered nurses and drs with whom I mesh and others not so much. I have no doubt it will be the same in the NICU and I will remember that I'm the best advocate for the babies.

I also like the idea of journaling or keeping a blog. This whole time I've been in the hospital I've been "thinking" about starting a blog but of course the laziness of doing nothing breeds more laziness. But since DH will be gone I'm definitely going to attempt keeping track of everything, both in the NICU and once they're home, both so we can look back on it but to also keep him up to date.

~BGG Born October 6, 2011 @ 34 Weeks~

My name is Bridget, I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with triplets. I just joined the site and have been reading everyones posts to try and learn and prepare myself as much as possible for what is ahead. I have read allot of referances to funneling and Bradys and was wondering if anyone would mind explaining these. I always forget to ask questions when we go to the drs office because we are so excited to see them moving around on the ultrasound. Any other helpfull pregnancy tips anyone has I would really appreciate them. Thanks Bridget

Congratulations Bridget!

You might want to consider starting a new post as some people won't see your questions.

That said, funnelling is what happens to the cervix sometime - it starts to open from the uterus, like a funnel. The cervix gets shorter and shorter until....well there's nothing holding the babies in. Some women get what is called "cerclage" - a stitch to hold the cervix together. You can ask your Peri / OB about it.

"Bradys" are bradycardias. Babies that are born premature often have periods of slowing of the heart and slow breathing, sometimes they stop breathing (apneic periods)- it's a "normal" part of maturing for a premie - and, for the most part, they grow out of them. If your babies are admitted to the NICU, they would likely be kept in hospital until all the "brady and apneic" episodes subside. Some babies go home with monitors. We found it really helpful to tour our local level 3 NICU - spoke at length with one of the doctors there, it was really helpful for us to know what to expect (know one can tell you exactly what to expect - every babe is different.)

Hope that help. Good luck with your pregnancy!

Janet
G - 12/07 35 weeks
GGG-04/10 30 weeks

I had my babies at 29 week and 4 days so I hope I can be of help to you.

General pointers? I you have not toured the NICU and met the Neionatologists then do so now. Ask around to see if you have had any friends or family members who have had preemie babies in the same hospital. It really helped me talking to my friend who had quads about a year before. She let me know which nurses were the good one and which Neionatologist was the best.
What was helpful for you during the babies' stay? It was really nice to have my MIL and my Mom taking care of cleaning my house and doing laundry so I could focus all of my time and energy up at the NICU.
How often were you there? How long were your visits?I tried to be in the NICU for every feeding. Normally I would be at the hospital at about 8:30am, leave for lunch around 12, back about 1 or 2pm, leave about 4pm and then back later that night around 8pm for my last feeding of the day. After the last feeding we would sometimes leave right after but then if I have enough energy I would at times stay until 11 for just one more feeding. There were even a few times when I would wake up in the early am and just go up to the hospital to sit with the babies.
How did you divide your time between the 3 babies? In the NICU they had their beds all together and then once they were stable, they were all put in the same bed. Once I was able to bottle feed them I just rotated babies at eat feeding. Once we got home I tried to give them all equal attention but most of the time who was ever crying the loudest got the most attention.
How did you keep your sanity? I came here are and asked a lot of questions. I also met some Mom's who also had babies in the NICU and it really helped me talking to them, since we were all going through the same thing. I'm still good friends with a lot of these Moms.
Do you have any tips for dealing with the staff? Respect the NICU rules and staff and they will respect you. For my favorite nurses I would also bring them treats to show them how much I appreciated them. If you have a nurse that isn't following procedure or if you have issues with them don't be afraid to say something to the Nurse Manager. We had wonderful nurses with the exception to one. There were so many things she did wrong. I stayed her whole shift because I didn't trust her. The next day I talked to the Nurse Manager let them know they were never to schedule that nurse again. I'm not good with confrontation but it helped me reminding myself it was all for my babies.
How do you make the babies' spaces feel more personalized? (Blankets on the incubators? Signs? Holiday decorations?)We had shelves in our area so I brought a few stuffed animals to decorate. I didn't do much more than that since it was more for me than the babies. My Neionatologist actually handmade specialized bedding for all the babies in the NICU. We had Texas Tech bedding and I think that made it nice for Family members.
Did you limit visitors? (We have an opinion on this but curious what others think.) Our NICU allowed Parents, grandparents and 2 extra people(they had to stay the same through the NICU stay)
We requested that before anyone go up to see the babies they check with us first. With that being said my MIL didn't stick to that rule and it really pissed me off. I would say if you have any rules for visiting the babies make sure you clearly relay that to the visitors. Now that I look back I should have made sure my dh was on the same page with me on the visitors. I was very territorial with the babies. Later I found out he had told his Mom she could go up to see the babies whenever she wanted and didn't have to check with us before.
Anything else you'd care to share? My best advice is to trust your gut. If you don't agree with something, if you don't understand something a doctor is telling you or something doesn't feel right SPEAK UP!!! I hope this helps.

Tanna

06/22/07 29 weeks 4 days
Lincoln 2 lbs 13 oz
Colton 2 lbs 14.4 oz
Dakota 2 lbs 11oz
http://tannastriplets.blogspot.com/